What drives perception, you or your team?

This is a topic that I've been sitting on for awhile, and I'm not really sure how I want to frame my argument. Essentially the question I'm asking here is, do we, the sports republic, drive our perception of a team by the actions of its respective entities or the actions/mentality of its fanbase. (For the sake of the argument, I'm saying "both" is a cop out.)

It's the entities that make up the team, right?

When you look back on the history of any sport, you can pretty much bet that we look at, very generally, two types of teams: winners and losers. Dominant winners are usually made up of a model head coach, one (if not more) all-stars and a surrounding cast of characters that act as role players, feel-good stories or just general spares. We can appreciate winners for what they are, and we can feel sorry for losers for what they are. All fan-dom loyalties aside, very rarely do you hate a loser for losing, and very rarely do you hate a winner for winning.

The argument I'm making here is that we, in general, perceive that a team is great based on the entities that make it up, and in turn we support the well built franchises and mildly pay attention to those that aren't.

Case in point: The 1980's San Fransisco 49ers.

The 49ers in the 80's were an unstoppable juggernaut in professional football. Eddie DeBartolo calling the shots in the building. Bill Walsh calling the shots on the sidelines. Joe Montana calling the shots on the field. A cast of all-stars and characters, Rice, Lott, Barton, Taylor, Rathman, Craig, etc.

Again, fan-dom loyalties aside, people loved this team and admired the accomplishments because they were so well put together and executed things as best as could be done, winning the title 4 times. From what I remember, people wanted this team to win. People loved seeing this team win.

However...can't we say the same about the 90's Cowboys or this year's Patriots?

Jerry Jones in the building, Jimmy on the sideline, Aikman on the field. Smith, Irvin, Harper, Novacek, Haley, Norton Jr, Woodson, etc.

Bob Kraft in the building, Belichick on the sideline, Brady on the field. Moss, Stallworth, Harrison, Bruschi, Welker, Maroney, etc.

Aren't these Patriots just as well put together as those 49er teams? Weren't the Cowboys of the 90's just as well put together as those 49er teams?

Then why is it that the perception of the Patriots today or the Cowboys of yesterday as a sorry sack of crap and "God! I hope they lose!" type feeling?

The fans.

Cowboys fans in the 90's and Patriots fans today have THAT thing in common. That over-sense of entitlement. It's that sense of total "douchebaggery" that sets the rest of the sports nation off. It's that constant thought that "we're better than yoU because we're fans of this team" idea that drives everyone else to want to kill.

Think about it. If the term "Mass-hole" never existed, and Simmons actually wrote like he used to, and the stereotypical fan of the Patriots wasn't, well, how they are, would you hate the Patriots or would you actually like them and want to see them win?

Look at it..

A Few Successful But Generally Hated Franchises*
-New York Yankees
-Boston Red Sox
-Dallas Cowboys
-New England Patriots
-Los Angeles Lakers
-Chicago Bulls
-Notre Dame Fighting Irish
-University of Southern California Trojans
-Texas A&M University Aggies
-Duke University Blue Devils

A Few Successful But Generally Liked Franchises*
-San Fransisco 49ers
-San Antonio Spurs
-Indianapolis Colts
-Detroit Pistons
-Green Bay Packers

*I'm heavily-stressing the "generally" here. Try to forget your allegiances. This is probably just my opinion anyway.

Notice the lack of well-liked franchises? Now correlate that to the general fan-base and pick out the most stereotypical fan. See the point?

Looking back and reading this, I'm not really sure I made any kind of a point here that wasn't pretty blatantly obvious. It seems fairly clear that we don't care about the entities or the accomplishments of a sports franchise, but more how the fans are of that particular franchise. The way the fans act is how we perceive that franchise.

Think about that the next time you want to try and rub it in someone else's face that "your team" won and "their team" lost. Not only are you coming off as a total dick, but you're making "your team" that much more hated.

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

"I guess the MILF Technology Convention is in Philly this year."

a look.......part 4

Teams 1-6 and Teams 7-10. and teams 11-14. A look at the NFL, from the draft point of view, in the draft order.

15 Detroit Lions 7-9

Good: Team started 6-4. That's damn good for this team. 9th in the passing game, with God's QB Jon Kitna going over 4,000. Best WR on this team statistically? Shaun McDonald, 79 rec, 943 yrds, 6 TD's, all team highs. At times Roy Williams and Chad Johnson look great. Young Ernie Sims led the team with 134 tackles and forced 3 fumbles. Not bad for a 23 year old.

Bad: The entire defense, and the run game. Look at these numbers, 31st in rushing yards. I know in a Mike Martz system you throw way more than you pass, but come on, 31st? Def: 32nd in points, 32 in yards given up, 31 in pass yards against, 23rd in rush. That's not a playoff team at all.

Prediction: After taking a WR in what seams like the past 15 years in the first round, this team has st start answers some of its DEF questions. I think they will let Shaun Rodgers leave and try to get a fist or second rounder for him. That might be a little light, but if they will take a 3, then i believe the line forms to the right. A combo of O Line and all things DEF will be looked at during the free agent period.

Draft: The thing is, one of the top 3 QB's might very well still be here, and if he is this team would have to look real hard at themselves and ask the question, is Jon Kitna going to lead us to the promise land? I doubt the answer will be yes, even for Detroit. If they don't go QB they MUST go BPA DEF. Guys like Calais Campbell, DE, Miami, Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio St., Reggie Smith, DB, Oklahoma, should all be here for them to choose.

16 Arizona Cardinals 8-8

Good: First year head coach Ken Whisenhunt did a fine job with this team this year. Thinking that his starting QB and one of his best WR's went down early, one didn't come back at all, the other just didn't look right the rest of the year, 8-8 is damn good. 5th best passing yards, 7th most points, and the defense started showing signs of life, they were 9th best against the rush.

Bad: Like I said the Defense starting showing something, but they still have a long ass way to go. 27th in points against, and 28 against the pass. Coach Whisenhunt has his work cut out for him, and he might need to find a new RB as it is rumored Edge James wants out in Arizona.

Prediction: This team really took a step this year, but they aren't even close to hanging with the elites yet. The defense is just too suspect. They need to get some pass rushing and some secondary help. This can be either in the draft or in free agency. Rumor is that Terrell Suggs, who played college ball in Tempe, is interested in coming to the "Buzzsaw."

Draft: If they get Suggs then they can go after the best secondary player available. Kenny Phillips, S, Miami, Reggie Smith, DB, Oklahoma, and Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida could all be there at pick 16.

17 Minnesota Vikings 8-8

Good: Two words, Adrian Peterson. I was down on Minnesota last year after the draft for taking a running back when you had a perfectly good one on your roster. I'm not a fan of over loading talent (look at DET and ARI WR's, DAL LB's) at one position during the draft, but this might have saved the Vikings. 5.6 yards per Carry. 1341 yards. You throw in Chester Taylor's 844 yards and you got one hell of a 1-2 punch that teams want these days, and the #1 rated rushing attack in the game. Sidney Rice at times showed he had the ability to be the #1 guy this team needs. Ohh and this Defense was 1st against the rush again, and scored 6 TD's.

Bad: The worst thing that may have happened to this team is that QB Tarvaris Jackson showed just enough signs last season that they might give him one more year. BAD IDEA. Jackson isn't a starting quality NFL QB. Plan and simple.

Prediction: If any team is in need of going out and getting a vet QB, its these guys. I was saying during the season that they should get Donny McNab, but now it doesn't look like McNugget will leave Philly. Dark horse? Kurt Warner.

Draft: I really really doubt they will be thinking QB here, but if they do, one of the Big 3 will still be around more than likely. Another school of thought is that they take (another) WR. DeSean Jackson WR Cal, Malcolm Kelly WR Oklahoma, are both top notch guys. The smart thing to do might be going after a speed rusher like Quentin Groves DE Auburn, Derrick Harvey DE Florida, or Calais Campbell DE Miami. Groves didn't have the best senor season, but is a fine all round DE, Harvey and Campbell will need some seasoning, but they have a shot to be rock stars.

18. Houston Texans 8-8

Good: Turns out the QB was the problem! David Carr just sucked! That's good news for the Texans as they found a guy who might be the QB of future, Matt Shaub, and the next great WR, Andre Johnson. Mario Williams finally looks like he was worth the #1 pick last year.

Bad: The Defense that looked to be making strides last season didn't do that this year. 25th in pass def, and 22 in points allowed just won't cut it. DeMarco Ryans will still be a fantastic inside guy, but they need some help from the outside linebackers. I don't know what would have happened if this team had Ahman Green all year, but they need help in the run game.

Prediction: Next year, playoffs. With one or two moves this off season these guys can overtake Tennessee in a heart beat.

Draft: I think they go RB in the first and then just a bunch of defensive players the rest of the way. Jonathan Stewart RB Oregon, Felix Jones Rb Arkansas, Rashard Mendenhall, Illinois, or Steve Slaton, West Virginia, depending on what kind of back they want. Stewart and Jones would be best if they were to be ahead in the depth chart of Green, Slaton if they want Green to still be the man.

Well over half way done. Lets all get together and sell this bitch out.

And down goes one.

The sometimes great Jay Glazer is saying that Tony Sparano is gone to the Phins. Not a big surprise. It's the thing that we all thought Big Bill over in Miami would do. He got his "guy." A no nonsense, hard noised dude. While i have no idea how good a head coach this guy is going to be, I can tell you this, he will be missed here in Dallas. Maybe even more so that Jason Garret. He was the "get in your face" guy that every team needs.

So goodbye Tony S. You look like Hitler had a gay baby with James Gandolfini.

The Brown Five - 1/16/07 - The Prodigal Son Returns

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) What happened?
Major Applewhite is coming home. All reports are saying that later today or tomorrow morning they will hold a presser to announce that Major Applewhite will be the new running backs coach at his (and my) alma mater, the University of Texas at Austin.

2) Why'd he do that?
Yes, it's a "step back" from being the OC at Alabama. However, in this situation, Applewhite is coming to a more dynamic program, not run by Nick Saban. He's working with a better recruting pool. Sure, he'll have to be under Greg Davis, but I have a feeling it'll be no time flat before Davis is out and Applewhite is the man with the headset.

3) What does this mean?
Well, besides the fact that the entire state of Alabama probably wants to declare war on the city of Austin? Great things. With Muschamp and Applewhite coming in, Mack Brown is making the statement to alumni and fans that he's tired of the status quo and realizes that things need to be shaken up. Muschamp is going to make the defense an aggresive, blitz-first oriented group. Applewhite is going to incorporate new wrinkles to the offense to open the door beyond Texas's normal zone read offense.

4) Does it affect recruiting?
You're damn skippy it does. Mack Brown, again, is showing that he's not happy with the status quo and he wants to see things change. He wants things to be more dynamic and more prolific. Mack Brown is already a great recruiter, and this gives him more bullets in the chamber.

5) How does it affect Brown?
Well, I've made no secret that I, like any Texas student on campus from 1998-2001, have a man-crush on Major. There was something about the guy that made him a fan favorite, it's hard to explain. It's the same way you might find older Texas fans gushing over Peter Gardere and James Brown in the late 1980's and mid 1990's. It's given me a renewed sense of fandom about my team, and it's made me, for at least an hour, forget about a certain Sunday debacle.

The Brown Five - 1/15/08 - LeBron can't drive...55!

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) He's not a machine! He bleeds!
The Wizards dropped the Celtics yesterday, marking the Celts losing their third out of the last four they've played since entrenching themselves as the league's best team. Why, you may ask? I'll tell you. In trading the farm for the two to go with the one and make the big three, the Celtics sacrifices A LOT of depth on the bench. Given that Doc is a coach that likes to try and play everyone, there is only so much one man can do when he's rolling out spares to rest stars.

2) So, who is the best point guard?
Big mentioned it in his trade machine dream, that Jason Kidd might be the best point guard in the game today. Throw in Steve Nash and a few other names and there is a good debate. What about tomorrow? Chris Paul or Deron Williams? Williams has size and range, Paul has speed and court vision. Think about it...Williams bullies and punishes opposing guards with a pick and roll that bugs your eyes. Paul is like Speedy Gonzalez, only with Nash's ability to find the smallest of passing windows.

3) Cavs extend Brown's contract
Even though the Cavaliers have struggled to stay on top of the East after going to the Finals last season, Dan Gilbert and Danny Ferry haave decided to tack on two more years to Mike Brown's contract. The excuse for the poor play this year is the Varejao and Pavlovic hold outs and the LeBron finger injury. James is saying the right thing about Brown's extension being a good thing, but I'm not so sure that Brown has really done much of anything. James carries this team, and no one has made a move to get him a second banana.

4) Mavs season starts with a loss
Yes, I know the Mavs are deep into the season, but things don't "officially" start in Dallas until the Cowboys lose. Just to remind people how the season really did start, the Mavs lost to the Sad Sac Kings. They played pretty sloppy ball, and by the time they regained their style of play, it was too late. Kevin Martin was the star in Sacramento after hurting his knee ealier this year. If you're wondering about defense my only answer is to shrug my shoulders and say "I dunno"

5) Jerry Stackhouse is dropping an album
Oh yeah, here's a good idea. Remember Shaq, Kobe, Jason Kidd, etc all dropped albums? Well, now Stack is thinking he should do so as well. HOWEVER...remember the few times Stack has sung the national anthem at Mavs games? Pretty good, right? I'm just saying...

welp, see ya later

I haven't had this hard of time thinking of a post since we started this whole website thing. When you think about it, if you are a real big fan of ANY sports team, you are set up to fail. Every year, in every sport, there is only one winner, only one team that is number 1, only one team that rocks a trophy at the end. That leaves some 30 other teams a loser. I know there are some times when just making progress is all you hope for, but in the end, for real, one team wins, everybody else doesn't.

The year of 2007 was one hell of a sports year for Dallas. 67 wins for the Mavs. Dallas becomes the NFC team to beat. The Stars come into the playoffs hot, and the Rangers sucked, but that's pretty status quo. What do they all have in common? Fucked up first round of the playoffs. I know that the cowboys lost in 2008, but it was the 2007 season.

It is so hard as a fan to keep getting punched in the crouch and keep believing.

But that's what we do.

We look at the person that kicked us in the nuts, smile, and say "Thank you sir can I have another."

I'm sure I will get into why the boys lost, where they need to go form here, and all that jazz. But damn that was a fun season! Can't wait for that first time we play the Giants next year. There will be blood.

So buck up, and get back on the saddle. The best text i got yesterday after the game was from the Mexican, it said, "Fuck that was a good game, At least now I can look forward to the draft."

Thank you sir. May I have another?

The Brown Five - 1/14/08 - Black Monday

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) Huh?!
So, the Cowboys decided to continue their streak!! Problem is, that streak is not winning a playoff game since 1998. Hoo and ray. To provide you with the mother of all sports-cliches: the Giants were playing to win, and the Cowboys were playing not to lose. Not but a few times did the Cowboys go deep and test the wounded secondary. The offensive line was jittery as hell and the defense was trying too hard to not mess up, they did. Guh.

2) Who's to blame?!
Everyone would really really like to point the finger at "the Story", Tony Romo. I just don't think you can do that. Sure, he didn't have his best game, but I'd think he did what he could given the situation. Owens? No, he was still hurt and managed to draw double teams. Glenn? Nah, he made some catches that were pretty well done. Crayton? Easy to say, yes. He dropped too many crucial passes, especially after opening his big fucking mouth. No, I blame the offensive line. Stupid penalties. Terrible snaps. Zero protection. Good AND bad offenses start with the offensive line.

3) What now?!
Coaches interviewing, pissed off Jerry, annoyed fan base. Kind of sounds like status quo for the past 10 years if you ask me. Wade's going to reassess the situation and prep for the draft. Don't make any mistakes, Wade Phillips is going to be the coach here. Garrett will go to Baltimore, Sparano is going to go to Miami and don't be surprised if a few other assistants go with them. The first thing is to reload the coaching staff and set for the draft. Romo is going to go away for 3 months and then you'll see him showing up at celebrity events.

4) What about the football season?
To be honest, I'm damn near out now. Will I watch? Yes. Will I be really really actively paying attention? Minimally. Who am I pulling for? Green Bay. I'd love for Favre to meet the Patriots in the Super Bowl. The Patriots would win, but I think it'd be really cool to see Berman and Madden have respective heart attacks on the air.

5) What about the blog?
Not many of you read my shit anyway. I just steal stuff from other blogs and claim it's mine. Read Big's stuff. He knows what he's doing.

If I may jump and down like a little girl....

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!!

...To recap the situation briefly: there's talk not only that Texas has an interest in Major Applewhite, but that the interest is mutual....

Read here

No Meat = Crazy Funny

The name Big, just to enlighten you, isn't a clever name. It has no deep meaning, or a metaphor for something, I'm just a big dude. I like things like chicken fried steak, brats, and cheese. That said I have no idea why anyone would ever go vegetarian. I have had people tell me that if I cut out all the meat and dairy in my diet, I would lose 100 pounds. That may be true, but, steak taste good. I normally don't agree with what PETA does, or more importantly what people do in the name of PETA. But this is great.

The big hot topic the last couple of weeks has been Rodger Clemens and his alleged use of performance enhancing drugs. A big wig over at PETA Dan Shannon has written a letter to Rodger saying he should become a Vegan so he won't have any toxins at all in his system. This is funny.

A few of my fav quotes.

"On behalf of PETA, I'm writing to offer a suggestion that may help you fend off all the critics that are descending on you like a pack of Cubs fans going after a vendor's last beer"

" (We wouldn't be surprised to see Brian McNamee get hired by KFC to inject "flax-seed oil" into all the companies' chickens.) "

"Carl Lewis (named "Olympian of the Century" by S.I.) says the best year of his track career was when he went vegan, and Salim Stoudamire of the Atlanta Hawks says his game has gotten a huge boost since he cut meat, eggs, and dairy products out of his diet. Star Ultimate Fighter Mac Danzig is also vegan; perhaps he could give you some nutrition tips so that you'll be ready for your next encounter with Mike Piazza"

"Citizens Bank Park has the best vegetarian food of any ballpark"

So let me get this straight, the best 3 athletes that have ever gone veg is Carl Lewis(FANTASTIC) Salim Staudamire (really, that's your number 2), and Mac Danzig (i watch MMA only casually, but I don't know who this guy is)?

Good Stuff PETA, you crazy bastards.

Hat Tip to Fanhouse

I really should be a GM.

Sorry for the lack of posts from the big guy, works been busy for me, but no body gives a shit about that. I'm still working on the NFL recap of teams, but I when I get tiered of football and need a little sports break, its off to basketball.

I know Brown is the NBA guy for the most part, but I can't help myself when I start playing with the NBA Trade machine. I have now come up with 3 fantastic trades that need to happen right now. The first one would make the most noise around the league, the next a Dallas trade that I have been sitting on for a few weeks, when I was panicking that Dallas wouldn't even make the playoffs. I would still do the trade today, but its not as big a deal as it was a month ago. The third trade was due to rumors that that guy is on the block.

Mega Trade of the Year!

Three team trade. Between Indiana, New Jersey, and Houston.

Indiana - Gets Tracy McGrady, SG/SF
New Jersey - Gets Jermain O'Neil PF
Houston - Gets Jason Kidd PG.



Why would they make these trades?

Indiana gets rid of its sulking, overpaid star, and gets a top 3 playmaker. There is a lot of talk about McGrady not being able to lead teams, but I just think he is in a system that isn't a fit for him. Yao is the best center in the game right now, and McGrady isn't an in and out player. He needs the ball in his hands. That's what he would get in Indiana. Danny Granger is probably the best player in the league right now that you haven't heard of, and he can take that 4 spot very easily. They would play Dunleavy and T-Mac at the 2/3 spots, and have Jamaal Tinsley at the point.

New Jersey trades away one of the best point guards ever to play the game, but they get some the one thing that has held them back for the past 3 year, inside presence. Carter and Jefferson could both really benefit from having someone inside that is a threat to score, and a much better rebounder than anyone else on their squad. Move rookie Sean Williams to center for his defense, and then you would have Magloire, and Kristic coming off the bench, and you have the start of something. This would open their window a few more years with the moving of Kidd as well.

Houston gets the best part of this deal, and yet they give up the most. If the absence of T-Mac, H-Town has played pretty well because they know they don't have get him the shots. Yao has been what everyone hoped he would be. Now with Kidd running the point, this team jumps to a top 5 team in the league. The old Bonzi Wells and Steve Francis can help Luther Head at the 2 spot, and the team would have Mike James and Rafer Alston coming off the bench to give Kidd some rest. If that's too much bench, they then have the ability to trade James or Alston.

Trade to Fix Dallas and LA

Granted, I made up this trade a few weeks ago when the mavs were not doing so well, but I would still do this trade. The only real problem i have with it is it makes the Lakers a better team, and they are in the west. Again, this is a 3 team trade.

Dallas - Gets Ron Artest SG
LA Lakers - Gets Jason Terry PG Dallas, Justin Williams C Sacramento.
Sacramento - Gets Kwame Brown PF LA, Jordar Farmar PG LA, LA's First Round Pick 2008.


We are going to start with Dallas. What are the biggest problems that Dallas faces in their quest to win a tittle? Can't stop athletic teams who run and jump like crazy, don't have that "swagger" that puts fear into other teams, and can't really defend against a really good slasher like D-wade, Manu, or T-Mac. I know that Ron Artest is crazy, but he solves all of these problems. He is probably a top 3 defender in the league, he is gansta as hell, and he is at his best when going up against people that want to take it to the hole. Jason Terry is one hell of a player, but he is a classic tweener 1/2. He is too small and doesn't play good defense against decent 2's, and he is too shoot first to play the point full time. Tell me you wouldn't be scared of this starting five. Devin Harris, Ron Artest, Josh Howard, Dirk, and Damp. With Diop, Stackhouse, and Eddie Jones coming off the bench?

Now to LA. After all I said about Terry and how he isn't a great point guard, why would the Lakers want him? Truth is, the JET is best when he can roam around the outside and just hit three's and open looks. That is perfect point for the Mamba. Kobe gets another pretty solid player to go along side him, yet not a super star that's going to take away from his popularity. Terry, Kobe, Odam, Bynum, and Turriaf/Mihm with Luke Walton and Derek Fisher off the bench? Damn.

And lastly lets look at what the sad sac kings. They are getting the two magic things all teams with no shot at the playoffs want, Young guys, and Cap Space. Kwame Brown has an expiring contract of 9 mill this season. Kevin Martin is only 24 and looked like the real deal before he got hurt, John Salmons is only 28 and is playing fantastic right now, you pair these two things with the money they would save next year, 2 first round pics (one in the lottery) in a year that will be a FANTASTIC draft, and a young point guard with promise, now your rebuilding looks good. If only they could trade Brad Miller and Mike Bibby. hmmmmmm

Trade to complete the flushing of the Kings

Because of the Farmar deal in with LA, the Kings then have the ability to trade another ageing superstar to a team that wants to get to the finials now.

Denver - Gets Mike Bibby PG
Sacramento - Gets Nene Hilario PF, Eduardo Najerra SF/PF


If I was Denver, I would make this trade in a heart beat, for the reason that I know, with the key players of my team, not named Carmelo, my window for a championship is very small. AI is 32, Camby is 33, and Kenyon Martin is 30. By adding Mike Bibby to this squad you have pretty much said, during any given game, one of our starting 5 is better than his counter part on your team. Any team. Except maybe San Antonio.

Sacramento get more cap relief with Najerra expiring 5 mill deal, and they get a 25 year old PF in Nene. Now look at the Kings future, Udrich/Farmar at point, Salmons and Martin at the 2/3, Nene at power forward, and Brad Miller (for now) at Center. Not a team that puts fear in the hearts of teams right now, but you also have to look the fact they will have 2 #1's this year, one of which being a top 5, PLUS they would be under the cap by around 2-4 mill next year, with another 9-12 mill coming off after next season. How does a 2 year older Farmar, 27 year old K. Martin at the 2, Mike Beasley coming off a ROY at the 3, 27 year old Nene and someone other than Brad Miller at center sound for the 2009-1010 season? PLUS they would have around 15 mill in cap space to throw at some people during that off season. PLUS if they draft well, a nice role player/bench guy coming in with LA's first rounder this year. Not so bad.

I love this stuff. Of course none of this will happen because teams are so scared that they will become the next New York Knicks and make trades that cripple the franchise for years to come.

The Brown Five - 1/10/08 - All Pro Football, holmes

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) So...good call on Brady Quinn
The Browns are planning on signing Derek "Horse Balls" Anderson to a multiyear deal soon. This is going to keep him off the restricted free agent market next year and will allow the Browns to do the following:

1. make him the starter next year
2. sit Quinn behind him for one more year
3. if Anderson is the real deal, they can pull a San Diego a la Brees/Rivers and take a chance on Quinn or they can ship Quinn
4. if Anderson is not, they can put Quinn in and have a backup who knows the system and has proven his worth, to a degree at least

Grimmus and Savage might not be so stupid after all

2) Haven't we learned anything?
I, like everyone else outside of the Northeast United States, would like nothing better than the Jaguars to walk out of Gilette Stadium with a collective "we shit in the cup and Belichick ate it" vibe. You know what? I don't really know what that means.

Take 2

I, like everyone else outside of Boston want the Jaguars to win on Sunday. Problem is, it isn't going to happen. Why is it not going to happen? Everyone is picking Jacksonville in the upset. It's too chic to happen.

3) Just one more time, I promise
I have nothing else to say regarding Romo in Mexico. I just find it god damn hilarious that Bobby Carpenter went with Tony Romo and Jason Witten and no one has mentioned it or seems to care. He's the big guy with the mustache. Admit it, you thought it was a Simpson uncle and not one of the Cowboy teammates.

4) Running back heavy draft
I'm not the draftnik that Big is, but it just seems to me that this year's draft is going to be chock full of running backs. This leads me to think a few things...

1. with the success of the spread offense and more colleges using it, are running backs fearing less exposure in college?
2. with the advent of the dual back system in the pros, are there just more spots available for running backs?
3. have systems like Denver and Tampa allowed for people to think that anyone who has two legs and two hands can run for 1,000 yards a season?
4. are there that many NFL teams who are in desperate need of a running back that can't find the next Ryan Grant or Earnest Graham?
5. mixture of all the above?

5) TO's going to recover, right?
I wonder if Owens is healthy already and Phillips just doesn't want anyone to know, especially New York. If TO is healthy, I've got to pose the question...how? He recovered "miraculously" from a BROKEN LEG a couple of years ago. He's recovering from an injury that usually takes 6-8 weeks in half the time. Look, I understand that Terrell Owens at 31 is in better shape than a high majority of the population in any age group. I also understand that he has access to professional sports facilities that have training equipment and rehab staff that others can only dream of. However, given the nature of sports today, why does football get some sort of a pass? Is it not out of the realm of possibility that someone said, "take this, you'll heal faster" and given the competitor that he is, Owens said "okay"? I'm a fan, but I'm not naiive, that's all I'm saying.

The Brown Five - 1/9/08 - Do you ever dream?

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) The Big House becomes The Big Empty House
Rich Rodriguez was happy with the win over Florida. So happy that he's decided to take Michigan's offense and give it a swift kick to the ass...as in, to the curb. Gone are Chad Henne and Mike Hart. With them? Adrian Arrington, Mario Manningham and Ryan Mallet. I'm not one to follow recruiting or the red shirts at Michigan, but this seems pretty aggresive given that Rich-Rod has been on the job for what, a month?

2) Fred Taylor is going to the Pro Bowl
I guess he sheds that title of "best player never to go to Honolulu", but really, it has to be bittersweet knowing that you weren't really selected by anyone, and it was more because Willie Parker broke his leg. If you think Taylor cares about this more than he does about playing New England, you're kidding yourself.

3) Falcons interested in Pete Carroll
Some guys are meant for the pros, some guys are meant for college. Don't make the mistake of thinking that because Pete Carroll is doing so well at USC that is going to translate to the pros. You can offer him all the power in the world, but it's how these guys interact with the players. By all accounts, Pete Carroll is a horse-around and get out and practice with the guys kind of coach. That shit flies with 19-21 year old guys, but not so much on upper 20's and 30's guys. Also, what in the hell is Arthur Blank doing? Shouldn't he have learned to leave the college ranks alone???

4) Mike Martz the new OC in San Francisco
I don't like this at all and niether should San Fransisco fans. How is Alex Smith going to learn in a system where he's going to get sacked 45 to 50 more times a season? How is Frank Gore going to like not getting any carries at all? Do they have any receivers at all to go deep? Sure, the defense might just have something to build on (probably because Nolan is a defensive guy), but that offense needs a stable minded person to run it, and not a wild-ass guy like Martz.

5) Jason Kidd's Miracle Mustache
The man has grown the mother of all creepy mustaches, even Vince Carter was dogging him about needing to shave it. Since growing it? Three straight triple double games...three more and he'll have 100 for his career. I won't add much, short of the defense from the American Mustache Institute

The Brown Five - 1/8/08 - It's a turrble thing

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) BCS, Schmee-CS
So that makes Ohio State a big time loser against the SEC in da bowl games. At least this year they didn't totally shit the bed like last year. LSU's a good team, and short of triple overtime losses, they would have been undefeated. I don't think anyone is going to truly challenge the fact that they should have been there. What it does mean is that the BCS really needs to reevaluate the way things are done. I understand the Pac-10 and the Big-10 are the biggest road blocks to changing the system because, well, shit if I know, but if the majority of conferences don't like things the way they are, they should force those two to change it or go fuck themselves.

2) The Tony Romo thing
Bitch and moan all you want to, my fellow bloggers, but the city and media of Dallas are going to cover this Romo Mexican Getaway with the same kind of fervor they would cover the Super Bowl in 2011. Dallas fans want to believe that the quarterback, the face of the team, is completely dedicated to the Cowboys and nothing else. It doesn't make sense at all, and it sounds pretty inane, but fans are stupid people. Period. We think that if players aren't spending any free time they have studying tape and playbooks is wasted, and we're quick to blame ANY outside interference that is on the radar. True, it has no effect on how Romo will play his game, but all of you (us) who bitch at the stories and coverage need to understand that people want to think it does, and the media wants to provide for the people, so you get this non-stop Catch-22 of stupidity. Deal with it.

3) As the coaching carousel turns
Joe Gibbs resigned this morning, adding one more spot to this year's coaching carousel. Contrary to Atlanta or Baltimore, I think this spot is going to be easy to fill: Greg Williams. Granted, Dan Snyder is the crazy sumbitch who went and got Spurrier, so who know what'll happen, but I think that keeping it in house is going to be the best option for the Redskins. Don't be surprised if the Ravens do the same and promote Rex Ryan to the head coach position either. Seems to be a trend, promote defensive guys to the head coach position and get a young guy to run your offense...

4) The Roger Clemens thing
Well, well, well, here's an different approach from Barry Bonds and Mark McGuire. Rather than sit and take a defensive stance, Clemens has decided to go in guns blazing. It's too bad that the court of public opinion is opposite from the country and believes that everyone is guilty and can never be proved innocent. No matter what Clemens does, he's going to banded a cheat. He can take a blood test, have Brian McNamee come out and say "yup, I lied" and do everything humanly possible, but people will still say "hey! masking agents! cheater!" Maybe, just this once, we can give someone the benefit of the...nevermind, it'll never happen.

5) Holy shit, women play basketball?
Here's an interesting tidbit, Colorado freshman forward, Britney Spears, was named the Big 12 Conference Women's basketball rookie of the week by helping Colorado win a game or some such. Her roommate's name? Whitney Houston. I shit you not.

and this weeks games will be great!

Man, after waiting around 2 months for the first round of the college football tournament to be over, we are finally here! Round 2! We have whittled down the pretenders from the contenders! From 12 to 6! This weekend is going to be great.
In are USC, who looked about as unstoppable as we all thought they were at the start of the season, Georgia, who knocked out the only undefeated team this year, West Virginia, who had the hardest opponent and might be the upset of the week, Kansas, who proved they belong, LSU, who knocked out the other Big 10 team still in this thing, and Missouri, their win coupled with Florida's loss filled in the wild card slot so well.

So now we get to look forward to these games this weekend.

Top 2 seeds get a bye; LSU, Georgia. (I know, 2 SEC teams shouldn't be 1 and 2, but hey, I'm not running this thing, its the BCS and I totally trust them!)

Missouri (3)
vs.
West Virgina (6)

and

USC (4)
vs
Kansas (5)

What a fantastic weekend this will be! Picture it, Saturday starting at noon. We get to see Chase Daniels and Tony Temple, fresh off just putting it on the Arkansas Razorbacks in the cotton bowl, take on Pat White, Noel Devine, and Steve Slaton(not bound for the NFL) on a neutral field in America's wang, Florida!

Then at 3:15 or so, we get to watch what has to be one of the feel good story's of the year, Kansas kept the magic alive last week with there big win over Frank Beamer and his Va Tech team. So Kansas beat Va Tech, and LSU beat Va Tech, could these two programs be on a collision course? Kansas will have to first get by the most talented team in the country, the Hated men of troy, USC. Jon David Booty struggled through injury all season long but had now found a way to lead his team last week with a win over an outmatched Illinois team. Can Joe McKnight run all over this "bend but don't break" Kansas defense? Is he the gay love child of 2 NKOTB members Joe McIntyre and Jordan night? Find out Saturday at 3!

THEN on Saturday we get to watch what all those athletes hope to play for, NFL football! The Packers and Seahawks take the field on a special Saturday night Football, Playoff style! Hope you have the NFL network, because that's where the game is. Its like the NFL is saying, what will you do for football? Will you get a new cable provider? Will you listen to the worst ever play by play guy with no alternatives, unless you wanna buy the satellite radio station that we endorse? Yes, Yes I will.

and THAT'S JUST SATURDAY! Sunday we have another triple dose of football. CBS starts it off with a grudge match between the Colts of Indy, and Saint Diego's Chargers. Don't get lost in switch, because you then get the great Dallas Cowboys, as they try to win their first playoff game in 10 years, face the New York football Giants! Sure the Cowboys beat the Giants twice already, but Eli is playing well now, and Tony Romo just went to Mexico! ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!

Think you've had your fill, well then then your not ready for whats about to hit you. Can you say prime time football? Can you say John Madden and Al Michaels? Can you say undefeated New England Patriots vs. the workmen like Jacksonville Jaguars? Ohh boy, my head is about to explode! If I could somehow find a hooker for this weekend, this will be the best weekend ever!

Wait......
What......?
College football doesn't have anymore games.........?
That rout last night was it........?
Why.....?
And this weekend I just described wont make money.........?
At least the writers strike is over and we won't have to watch American Idol this year........
What.......?
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

The Brown Five - 1/7/08 - LEEEROOOOY JENKINS!

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) No More Antonio...
The Chargers beat the Titans yesterday, but may have hurt their chances going forward, as Philip Rivers's security blanket, Antonio Gates might miss next week's game against Indy because of a sprained toe. Sure, a sprained toe sounds like a shitty injury, but that hurts if you've ever done it. Also, Eli shows a flash of "Manning-ness", Todd Collins earns a salary for next year in Baltimore (calling it!), and Hasslebeck is going to repeat a "we want the ball and we're going to score" performance in Green Bay.

2) Tony in Cabo
I don't really know what the other three bye week quarterbacks were doing, but Dallas's fearless leader was cavorting in Cabo St. Lucas with his lady friend and her family. Given the amount of heat he got from everywhere, especially here, do you think it was the best idea to do this before a playoff game? Sure, everyone is entitled to their personal lives, but there is something about being the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. To quote Gordo: "He's got the money and the tail, who cares about football anymore!?"

On a separate note, I was at a function this weekend where Jessica Simpson was brought up and a fat girl stood up and said "figures that men would blame a woman because a man couldn't get the job done!" That really just proves one thing...fat girls have no self esteem.

3) Kevin Smith going pro
Contrary to my view on Jamaal Charles going pro, I think this kid, the running back from UCF, is going to be a fantastic pro. He's a workhorse running back that piles up the yards left and right. I see him being the second option back in what is now a traditional system in the NFL. Think Marion Barber, Kevin Faulk, Michael Turner, etc.

4) Hey is that the Miami Heat?
No Shaq, no Wade, no White Chocolate, and if any of them do play it's with an injury. It's amazing how father time just kind of hops up and snatches a team. Ben and Skin offered up a very plausible trade scenario where the Mavericks dump a bunch of young talent over to Miami and assume the (now albatross) contract of Shaquille O'Neal. I'm really not sure how I feel about this. It would give Dallas a force in the paint, and make no mistake, Shaq is still that. Most importanty, it gives Dallas a leadership element in the post season they haven't had before. If anything, I'd want Josh Howard to become Shaq's new "little buddy".

5) St. Pierre vs Hughes...sign here.
I don't watch UFC, and I hardly follow MMA, but even I know this is a fight that I'd watch. Serra's last fight was an upset of St. Pierre to win the title in 2007. Serra got hurt and had to back out of fighting Matt Hughes. St. Pierre fought Hughes instead and beat him giving him an "interim title". St. Pierre doesn't want it that way and now him and Serra are going to go at it one more time in a legitimate title match and it should happen in April. Wrestlemania and Serra vs. Hughes in one month?? Direct TV, prepare to take my money.

BONUS) Muschamp to Texas and Jones to...SMU????
I'd be lying if I said when I read the story about Will Muschamp coming to Texas, I did a little bit of a celebration. I celebrated when Chizik arrives, and Muschamp is like Gene Chizik on steroids (probably not the best sports analogy, but you get what I mean). Chizik turned Texas's defense into a flurry of blitzing hell for offenses, and it resulted in a National Championship. Duane Akina is a soft and terrible coach and that's why we've seen nothing but defensive breakdowns as of late. Muschamp is going to take Texas's defense and turn it into something special, and he'll have a lot of deadweight graduate so he can work with a very malleable crop of guys. I expect Sergio Kindle to become Derrick Johnson part 2.

June Jones was all set to become the new coach at SMU. That's right, the Hawai'ian mastermind coming to Dallas. Now, it appears, UH has countered the offer and the entire island is begging him not to go, so he is reconsidering. Given the de-pantsing that Hawaii got courtesy of Georgia, and the fact his star QB is going pro, I'm wondering if Jones is looking for a reason to get out. Then again, given his success, he's got complete freedom from criticism down there versus getting attacked by the likes of Dallas sports radio. I'd keep an eye on things if I were you.

Holy Crap, i just pee'd a little bit

This is what my dreams look like when i forget to take my patch of when i go to bed.

a look.... part 3

Teams 1-6 and Teams 7-10. A look at the NFL, from the draft point of view, in the draft order.

11. Buffalo Bills 7-9

Good: I think they found something in Marshawn Lynch last year. He was out shadowed by AD last year, but this guy was one HELL of a rookie RB. I think this team is ready for the Trent Edwards era to begin, so this will be his team next year. The O-line was nice, helping them have the 15th best running attack and only allowing 26 sacks this season. They lived on the "bend but don't break" defense strategy this season. 31st in yards against, but only 18th in points against. That's a little crazy.

Bad: They have got to pass the ball better(30th), and score more points(30th). The defense seams to be going in the right direction, but they need to get stronger vs. the run.

Prediction: This team really could have used a top 5 pick. I know they went 7-9 and that's pretty good, but look at the teams they beat, NYJ's twice, Mia twice, Baltimore(spare), Cin(spare), and Washington(a decent team). Now you can say if this team would have just held on, they would have won over Denver and Dallas. True, but this team is still just not very good. They need to get some players on both sides of the ball, especially on the D-line and in the Secondary.

Draft: If Sedrick Ellis, USC, DT is still here, that's my guy for this team. If he is gone, look for them to draft Malcolm Jenkins, Ohio St., CB, Antoine Cason, CB, Arizona, or even Aqib Talib, Kansas CB/S.

12. Denver Broncos 7-9

Good: For starters, this team can always run the ball. The uber baby daddy, Travis Henry, had 4.1 YPC and Selvin Young had 5.2! That's nice. Jay Cutler looked at times this year that he was going to be the next great QB, and at times looked like the biggest bust in the draft. Brandon Marshall is a good. Elvis Dumervil and his 12 sacks is a good. Champ Bailey and Dre' Bly are both good too.

Bad: The worse part about this team was its consistency on Offense, and inability to stop the run. The good news is the O should get better with another year under Cutlers belt, but the D line needs help, and so do the linebackers. I keep hearing rumors that John Lynch won't be back next year either.

Prediction: Seeing how this team is pretty solid on Offense, but young, and very good, but old in the secondary, this team might go for the Free Agent route this off season to help them with their problems stopping the run. Again if Det gets rid of Shaun Rodgers, he would be GREAT here.

Draft: Think run stoppers, or maybe a WR in round 1. If Javon Walker gets traded, then they will need another guy to go next to B. Marshell. So here is some guys they will want/should want. Sedrick Ellis, USC, DT, Frank Okam, Texas, DT, Limas Sweed, Texas WR, DeSean Jackson, Cal, Jr. WR.

13. Carolina Panthers 7-9

Good: Despite having to start a 44 year old QB, and a guy that you got just before the season started off someones scrap heap, and David Carr at QB this year, they still won 7 games. DeAngelo Williams had a nice little season and showed what Coach Fox hopes will be some preview into what he can do next season. Steve Smith is still one of the top 3 WR's in the game.

Bad: Everything else. What was once the best def front in all of football, couldn't muster up but 23 sacks? Wow. I know that Delome was hurt, but damn, this team needs to get some O and quick.

Prediction: Ok, this is what I think will happen. They cut Carr, hope Jake comes back and starts for them next year, while they develop Matt Moore. I think they should draft a QB, but I don't think they will. They will hold pat for the most part and hope for a healthy team next year.

Draft: Kenny Phillips, Miami S, might be the #1 guy on their board. If he isn't there, then look for them to trade down, or Dan Connor, Penn St. LB, Ali Highsmith, LSU, LB or Ryan Clady, Boise St OT.

14. Chicago Bears 7-9

Good: Devin Hester.

Bad: All of there QB's.

Prediction: I know I over simplified the good and the bad. But in all honestly, those 2 things where the story of the Bears this year. That and some crazy ass injury's to the def. Two things need to happen for this team to be good next year, and make another run at the Super Bowl. Number 1: They need to find some quality at the QB spot. I can't imagine this team with a great QB. Now last year they got by on a nice running game to over shadow the poor QB, but this year they didn't have that great of a run game. Thing number 2 that the Bears need to do to get back to the playoffs; Be healthy. Simple.

Draft: They have to go QB here, even if they pick up a vet. Matt Ryan, Boston College Andre Woodson, Kentucky Brian Brohm, Louisville. What ever one they like best. I like Woodson, but I also liked David Carr and Joey Harrington.

4 more teams. Good times. More to come I swear. Don't leave me, I'm needy.

"Beat Brown's Caption" Contest!

I'm going to periodically put a picture up with a wacky quote. Use the comment section to beat the quote with something funnier.

"And that's how Shamu got Hep-C"

The Brown Five - 1/4/08 - Touch My Wii

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) The Fighting Manginos!
I received a text while watching the end of the Kansas game last night from Big: "Anyone else scared mangino is going to eat all those oranges" That pretty much sums it up.

2) Tony Sparano!
It isn't official, but I can give you a Brown guarantee that Tony Sparano is going to be the next head coach of the Miami Dolphins. Parcells just wants to hire his guys, that's his bit. My only concern is that Tony Sparano looks like Adolf Hitler, and there are a lot of Jewish people living in Florida. I dunno, you put two and two together...

3) Coaching Carousel!
There has to be a better way of doing things. If a team is going to be raided for its assistants, that's fine, I understand the reasoning behind it. It just doesn't seem right to do it as these teams are attempting to prepare for the playoffs. I'd much rather Jason Garrett be focused on getting Tony Romo to get his mind off bitches and back to football then have Jason Garrett be concerned as to how he is going to properly mold Brian Brohm in Atlanta.

4) Nick Swisher!
A HUGE Ranger killer has been traded from Oakland to the ChiSox. Good gracious, what is "the genius" Billy Beane doing? First Dan Haren, now Nick Swisher. If I had to guess, he took a look around the AL and said "too many stacked teams, we can't compete, let's have a fire sale and rebuild".

5) Isiah Thomas!
You know what, I just don't know anymore. Does anyone else think that Zeke has reached Britney Spears levels of batshit crazy? Everything that Thomas does or says makes you do a double take and think, "holy crap! what's next?" Partner that with the fact that I think Isiah Thomas looks like the lost 7th Jackson brother, and he's doomed.

a look..... part 2

Here goes part 2. Part one is here, teams 1-6, or 32-26 depending on how you look at it.

7. San Francisco 49ers 5-11

Good: Man this team is in all kinds of trouble. There are more questions here than there is during a male only gang bang. Is Alex Smith a decent QB? Is Shaun Hill really as good as his 101 QB rating says he is? Is Frank Gore OK? Is Vernon Davis the game changer they thought he was? All of this leads to me thinking, this team might suck again next year.

Bad: The worst part of this team has got to be the offense. 32nd in points, 32nd in yards, 32nd in passing yards, and 27th in rushing. Wow. The worst part of this is, they don't have this pick here at 7. They traded it to New England. Yes the undefeated 16-0 New England.

Prediction: They did make a move to get back into the first round, although it was with Indy so they won't pick till around 28th or so. They need just about everything , and that late round 1 pick and there 2nd rounder needs to be BPA that's not a QB or a RB, or a TE.

Draft: So they don't have the number 7 pick, but with either the late 20's that they have, or the early 2nd they need to look at a WR and a DT or LB. BPA. Think Limas Sweed, Texas, or Malcolm Kelly, Oklahoma if they are going WR. Frank Okam, Texas, Quentin Groves, Auburn, if they go D line, or Ali Highsmith, LSU or J Lehman, Illinois if your fancy is LB.

8. Baltimore Ravens 5-11

Good: Willis McGahee was good, 1200 yards, 4.1 YPC. The Def is solid still, although they are old. Lastly, did you know Derrick Mason had 103 reception for 1081 yards. Not too shabby. The o-line really wasn't that bad either in giving up only 39 sacks.

Bad: This team straight up gave up on their coach this year. They don't really know what they got at QB, the def is good, but OLD, Mason is 33 years old, and Todd Heap was hurt all year.

Prediction: This team needs a new coach, and one that knows how to handle a old team. I don't know who, but with the right FA moves this team could make one more run at title next year. I have seen a lot of people say they need to go get themselves a QB in the draft, but that's not really what this team needs. The window for them will be open for about 1 or 2 more years, and that's it. Go get a vet QB that isn't all that bad( Pennington, Cullpepper) and let the run game eat up clock, and let Troy Smith sit another year. To do this I think they might need another RB to spell McGahee from time to time.

Draft: I would give up this pick if Philly wants to get rid of McNabb, or NYG wants to get rid of Eli, (don't be surprised if that happens). If they stay here, they could go 2 ways, if they want to blow this stuff up, then they will get a QB like Ryan or Woodson. If they want to make another shot at it next year, look for them to go after CB Malcolm Jenkins, Ohio St, or Calais Campbell, DE, Miami, or Vernon Gholston, Ohio St. DE. Why the DE's? They need to get more sacks. Suggs is a great player, but if you can get someone on the other side who is just as bad ass at rushing the QB, then that could really help this team.

9. Cincinnati Bengals 7-9

Good: The O is still there. 10th in total yards, 7th in the pass. Kenny Watson came out of nowhere and averaged 4.3 ypc. TJ and Chad both had monster years, and therefore so did Palmer. Best stat to take into next year? They only allowed 17 sacks all year. Nice.

Bad: 27th in total def. 26 against the pass, 21st against the rush. They have got to do better than that. Nobody on this Def had more than 4 sacks, or more than 5 picks.

Prediction: If this team can just get respectable on Def, they can make a playoff run with that explosive offense. Leon Hall was a good pick last year, so they need to build on that. Watson was a nice surprise, and they now have that nice RBBC that every team likes. I really think this team needs to open up its pocket books and really try to go get some DEF FA. Go after Lance Briggs and Boss Baily, that would be a great place to start. They won't trade Chad.

Draft: They need DEF. BPA on that side of the ball. One of these guys should be there, and I would take any of them in this order; James Lauinitus, LB, OSU, Kenny Phillips, S, Mia, Vernon Ghloston, DE, OSU, or Calias Campbell, DE, MIA.

10. New Orleans Saints 7-9

Good: The O was great this year. 4th in yards, 3rd in the pass, 12th in points. Drew Bree's was pretty good, 44 hundred yards, and he was only sacked 16 times. Marques Colston, had another good year, 98 rec, 1202 yards. Will Smith played well this year too, chipping in with 7 sacks.

Bad: As great as the passing game was, it had to be, because the running game was TERRIBLE. Deuce got hurt early and then down hill it went. The two guys taking over for him was the great Reggie Bush, and the very average Aaron Stecker. Bush is a play maker, but it just seemed he was used wrong. He only had 3.7 ypc, and 5.7 yards per catch. I don't know what Sean Payton should do with this guys, but not what he has been. Stecker was a little better, but not much. They were 26th is total Def, 30 against the pass, and 13 against the rush.

Prediction: They have to find a way to use Bush so he can max out his skills. I say stop trying to be cute with him and just give him the ball 25 times on the ground and trow to him when he's open out of the backfield. No crazy ass reverses or lining him up in the slot. They need to go get some help on the def side of the ball. If DET is really trying to get rid of Shawn Rodgers, he might fit pretty well here. They kinda lucked out in a way this year, seeing as how they had a shot at the playoffs all the way till the last week of the season, and then still get a top 10 pick.

Draft: BPA on the defense. Dan Conner, LB Penn State, Kenny Philips, S Miami, or even Calais Campbell, Miami DE. Should all be here and be good picks for the Saints.

That's all for now. More tonight if I don't go get my drink on, but that might happen so sex me.

The Brown Five - 1/3/08 - Now with titles!

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

Note: Yes, I missed about 2 weeks of stories. No, I'm not going to go back in time and recount them. Other bloggers either get paid or really give a damn, not me.

1) Parcells cleans house
Randy Mueller, gone. Cam Cameron and his assistants, gone. Dallas Cowboys cupboard? Getting raided. If you know anything about Bill Parcells he only hires "Parcells Guys". Half of those people are in Dallas right now, and Bill would like nothing more than to rip the carpet out from the house he built in Dallas. Keep on eye on things.

2) Oklahoma is so good in bowls
Sure, win the Big XII all you want to then go shit the bed in bowl games. Way to represent the conference, ass faces. Sure, Texas might lost you ass holes a lot, but at least we go and win our bowl games, and we're 2-0 in the BCS games we've played with the same number of national championships. No one likes Oklahoma except for the slack jaws in Norman. Best prediction to come from the WVU win at the Fiesta Bowl? Pat White probably got some of Erin Andrews.

3) The Mother of all Bad Decisions
Jamaal Charles is going to declare himself for the 2008 NFL draft. I'm not so sure this is a good idea, in fact, I think it's a bad idea. This is also one of those times that I really hope I'm wrong. I've been watching this kid since he was a freshman, and nothing ever has said to me "NFL". (Granted, no one said that about Priest Holmes when he was at Texas.) At 6'1" and 205 pounds with speed, he's an interesting choice, but this is a simple case of "strike while the iron's hot". So much for that 2008 Heisman run.

4) Royals making a move at Bartolo Colon
He's a Ranger killer, so I wouldn't mine seeing him get the fuck out of the division. However, I'm not so sure Kansas City is making a good move here (surprise, surprise). Given the nature of Colon's injuries and his ever increasing challenge to David Wells in a sumo contest, he's not the force he's been before.

5) Mavs destroy Warriors
What rivalry? Sure, it only matters during May and June. I've heard that argument before, but that doesn't make the regular season totally bunk. Bottom line is, if Nelly has figured out Dirk and the Mavericks, then he should be able to beat them in November and December as well as in May and June. Kudos to Brandon Bass. Welcome back to the team, buddy.

look to tommorow, today, about yesterday (?) part 1

So the regular season is over for the NFL, playoffs are slated to start this sat, with that said I'm no longer going to do power rankings for the NFL, I know, its a said day. But when with every door that closes, a new one opens. And that door is my favorite door ever, the NFL draft. I truly believe that if someone wanted to take a real chance on a guy that didn't play football after middle school, never been a place where he could hire or fire anybody, and hasn't even been entrusted with any amount of money over 100 dollars, I could make one hell of a NFL/NBA GM. I'm just saying.

So now we start the counting of teams. This is the about where all these teams will draft. The 3, 4, and 5, picks will be decided by a coin flip, which will happen at some point in the next 100 days or so. I will take a look at each team's year, about 5-7 a day with the teams that lose this weekend next week and so on.

1. Miami Dolphins 1-15

Good: Well, Joey Porter played pretty well; as did Jason Taylor and I really think that Channing Crowder might be turning into a very solid LB. While Tedd Ginn was a massive reach last year, he has shown some signs that he could be the game breaking threat they want him to be, but with WR's, you need to give them 3 years. The best part about this team is probably the RB's. Before he got hurt, Ronnie Brown looked really good, and when he got hurt Jessie Chatmen wasn't all that bad. If Brown can make a full recovery, the now uber popular RBBC with Brown and Chatmen will be pretty nice next year.

Bad: Just about everything else. The Green, Lemon, Bect, QB rotation was bad. Bect might still have something, but he needs time to learn the NFL game. The O Line didn't help things at all. They could use 2 new guards and a new tackle. The Def has 2 or 3 players on it that you know will be back next year, Porter, Taylor, and Crowder. Every body else could be replaced if the right guy is available.

Prediction: Will Bill Parcelles taking over as PFO, look for this team to go heavy in the draft, trading down whenever he can, including the first pick, in hopes of getting multiple picks. It wouldn't surprise me at all if they trade Taylor for some draft love, and go get some solid players in FA. Nobody that will make a big splash, but just people that you know what you’re going to get guys. Just like he did in NY, and Dal. Guys like Chad Pennington.

Draft: IF they keep the #1 pick they will take one of these 3 guys. Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU, Jake Long, OT, Michigan, or Chris Long, DE, Virginia. If they take Dorsey, and they keep that hybrid 3/4 def, look for him to play end in the 3/4 or tackle when they switch to 4/3. Long is just a solid guy, and Long would have to learn the 3/4. Therefore none of them are "quick fix" guys. My guess is they are hoping that McFadden has a killer combine, and someone wants to trade up to get him.

2. St. Louis Rams 3-13

Good: This team can blame a lot of it's woe's on the old injury bug. I wouldn't be worried about this team if it had 2 or 3 more wins, but because they kind of just gave up there for awhile, they might be in more trouble than I thought. Despite missing a lot of time this year, S.Jax still got 1000 yards, and both Holt and Bruce had productive seasons. Big thing missing again this year was Orlando Pace. This team goes how the line goes.

Bad: The Def is getting better but they still need more improvement. The WR are getting old, and safety play was a non factor this year.

Prediction: Of all the teams in the bottom 6-8, this is the team that has the best chance of making a run next year. Holt and Bruce are old, so they need to start looking for there replacements, and the def needs to get more active. This team might do more in free agency than really make a splash in the draft. I think they take the best available player not named D-Mac.

Draft: Same three as Miami. Dorsey, or either of the Long's. What I would do is take Chris Long, the DE from Virginia. Have him learn from L. Little, and then hope he can rock some sacks next year. If a safety or even a WR were worthy of this pick, that’s where they would go, but I there is nothing like that this year.

3. Oakland Raiders 4-12

Good: I don't know how good Jam will be at QB, but they are at least set there. Porter and Curry did a decent job at WR this year. Baby Huggy Bear Justin Fargas had a good year too, with Lamont Jordarn being hurt all year off and on. And probably the best thing about this year is it seamed this team really played hard all year on both sides of the ball, they just didn't have that much talent.

Bad: Just about everything. Run Defense was 30th last this year, and why are people sad Sap is retiring? The O Line hasn't been good either.

Prediction: First I want to say that if you look at the numbers, Daunte Cullpepper might finally be healthy next year. He probably won’t be on this team next year, but who ever gets that guy might have a steal. With the Raiders, Al Davis is always the wild card here. They should just take the BPA, but if I were a betting man, I would bet they will take McFadden if he is there. Draft: If Dorsey is still here, that’s who they need, but if D-Mac is there, that who they will probably pick him. If BOTH are gone, then Jake Long, the OT from Mich would be a fine consolation prize.

4. Kansas City 4-12

Good: Larry Johnson is still one hell of a RB. Derrick Johnson is starting to come into his own. Jarred Allen is a stud, but they need to resign him. Even with Brodie Croyle, and Huard, they still had the 13 most productive defense. Bowe could turn into a elite receiver, and Tony G still had 99 rec and over 1000 yards.

Bad: The O line was terrible. They allowed 55 sacks and as a team they barley got over 1000 yards rushing. While Huard wasn't that bad, he is no better than a really good back up QB and the jury is still out on Brodie Croyle. 31st in offense, but a lot of that has to do with no LJ.

Prediction: It looks like Herm Edwards will stay as the coach, whom I like, but he will be on a one year hot seat. That said, I don't see them drafting a QB, but it wouldn't surprise me if they have a new one under center next year. Cullpepper, or Pennington come to mind, and my dark horse is Derrek "Horseballs" Anderson, it would cost them some nice picks, but it might be worth it. They will resign Allen or Franchise him, and look to add some depth behind their ageing corners.

Draft: If they pick here, this pick will rely on what goes before them. If Jake Long is still here, he will be gone in a second. If he isn't, then they could go a few ways. Then next best tackle is Sam Baker from USC, but he might be a bit of a reach here. They could go DE to go along with Allen and get Long from Virginia or Vernon Gholston, the DE from Ohio State that is a freakish man that will have his stock rise during the combine. There is also a chance this could be where the first QB taken, either Ryan, Woodson, or Brohm.

5. Atlanta Falcons 4-12:

Good: Hmm, They were +4 in TO margin. That’s a good sign. Jerious Norwood had some flashes of greatness, but every time they tried to use him more than a change of pace, he wasn't so inspiring. The surprise of year for them that was a good thing, was QB Chris Redman. He had a 90.2 QB rating, and had 10 TD's to only 5 picks. I don't know if he is the answer, but at least he showed he can play a little bit, and give them time to groom their next QB. Ohh and Roddy White finally gave HotLanta a real WR.

Bad: No coach, no star QB, a bat shit crazy CB, an old running game and old bum kneed TE. This team is pretty full of holes, and there probably isn't a quick fix. They might be on their back for a couple of years.

Prediction: Have you, sweet sexy reader, noticed the way the NBA's Portland Trail Blazers have been doing lately? They are a pretty descent team that is unified with a bunch of good guys, both on and off the court. That is what this team should be going for. They need an image rehaul after the whole Vick thing, and that starts this year. The new coach will make a difference, and now since they don't have Petrino, they won't be any pressure to take Brain Brohm, but I think they will take a QB in the first round, and then sit him next year while they see what Chris Redman can do with a full season.

Draft: The only way I don't see this team taking one of the QB's, Either Ryan from BC, Brohm from Louisville, or Woodson from Kentucky, is if McFadden is there. McFadden would be such a great pick here. They could let Dunn go, and have the power of McFadden with the quickness of Norewood. If they don't take a QB with the first round pick, I can see them getting a Henne from Mich, or JD Booty from USC, or Erik Ainge from Tenn sometime later in day one.

6. New York Jets 4-12

Good: They are set at QB, if by set you mean you get rid of a 89.3 passer rating QB who has been leading the team over the past 6 years, for a 2nd year guy who in about the same amount of games had a 60 QB rating. The RB's are good, but not great. I really thought Jerrico Cotchery really showed up this year, and Coles still has some gas left in the tank. Rookie ILB David Harris, picked last year in the 2nd, is a fantastic player, and so is Darrelle Revis. In fact last years draft looks to be really really good for the once named Man Genius.

Bad: Really Really bad, 29th, against the run. They need some help both on the D line and the LB spots. They only had 6 rushing TD's last year, as a team!

Prediction: This is a well coached team who is lacking playmakers right now. But since mangenius is of the Big Bill mold, don't look for them to do anything crazy to get some a star in here. I don't think Pennington will be with the team, neither will Vilma. So if they get some picks for the both of them, then maybe they can have the trading power to move up some spots and take D-Mack.

Draft: Like I said up there, McFadden would be a great pick for this team, but he won't still be her at 6, so look for them to go either o line with USC's Sam Baker, or they can get another ILB like James Laurinitis from Ohio State. Another great pick for them I think would be Golston from Ohio State. At the beginning of the year, if you said that the Jets would be picking 6th I would swear to you they would do anything to get DeSean Jackson, WR, Cal, but now that would be a stretch I believe.

Well there goes the first of what should be many NFL looks to tomorrow, today, while thinking about yesterday, over the next few days. I want to have all the non playoff teams up before SAT, but it all depends on life.

Keep on truckin.
Master of Thuganomics,
Big

DAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNNNN

All right I normally don't post stuff I find on ESPN's front page, but damn, this guy gets knocked the fuck out. FANTASTIC!

Power is in the Eye....

I know its a day early, but since i'm sure nobody really reads this anyway, I had some time this christmas eve so here you go. The Playoff Picture is getting much more clear now. 1-5 is set for the most part in both confereces. 3 teams still alive in the NFC, and 2 for the AFC for the last spot. Good Stuff.

So here is the list, again this is based on how well these teams would fair against a pissed off NYC sewer alligator, who is wearing a bad hair piece, that you just made fun of. Yea, he's pissed.

The Opps I crapped my pants Tier

32. Atlanta Falcons 3 12 – Wow, this team just keeps getting kicked in the nuts. Let’s recap their year. There starting pro bowl QB gets put in jail, There next 2 QB’s go down with either Injury or Suckatude, star CB goes off on everybody from Coach to teammates, coach quits, and then now they lose their first choice of President of Football Operations in Big Bill. One thing I can take out of all this, they will take a QB in the draft, but may not be Brain Brohm anymore.

31. Miami Dolphins 1 14 - And Back to suck.

30. New York Jets 3 12 - They keep playing with some “heart.” No that’s not a good word, how about “moxy.” That doesn’t work either. Hmmm, how about “purpose?” Fuck it I’m out.

29. Kansas City Chiefs 4 11 - And way to lose to Detroit. Good stuff.

28. Baltimore Ravens 4 11 - You just got smoked by Seattle, and they say Billick is staying? Out of all the coaches, this is the one I think should go.

27. St. Louis Rams 3 12 - they hung in there until the very end against a pretty good Pitt team.

And Next Year Will Be Different Tier (no, it probably wont)

26. Oakland Raiders 4 11 - Jam Jam was 7-23 with 3 picks. It’s early, but that is bad.

25. San Francisco 49ers 5 10 Shawn Hill (who?) played pretty well, and this team may not be as bad as I thought they were. I’m still rooting for a win for them this week so the Pats get a lower pick.

24. Carolina Panthers 6 9 Def is good, and Matt Moore might have something, but this team is going to take a wash until Jake gets back.

The Teams that could be better next year

23. Denver Broncos 6 8 - Play’s tonight, but they are still on that QB needs to take the next step tier.

22. Chicago Bears 6 9 - That’s the Bears team that we thought we would see this year. Go get you some Neck Beard!

21. Detroit Lions 7 8 - Nothing gets the mojo back better than a visit from the former Texans!

20. Cincinnati Bengals 6 9 - This has got to be the most puzzling team in the league. They played a pretty good game, with a nice defensive effort, against a nice little Browns team. If they don’t make a run next year, it might be time to blow it up.

The teams I can't really figger out.

19. Houston Texans 7 8 - I really wanted this team to play better vs. an emotionless, no meaning having, Colts team.

18. Buffalo Bills 7 8 - they really had a shot to take some momentum into next year with a strong last few weeks. Instead, they got worked by what looks like an average NY team.

17. Arizona Cardinals 7 8 - That’s the Gun-slinging, let’s make it happen “O” I’ve been looking for! Way to make it happen after I’m out of the Playoffs, thanks.

16. Philadelphia Eagles 7 8 - I called for McNugget’s out, now I don’t know. This team is on that edge of older people with the window closing. They either need to make a few moves and try and sell the thing out next year, or blow it up.

Last NFC Playoff teams

15. New Orleans Saints 7 8 - they really had a shot to make this a fun last weekend, but they lost and now they need both Minnesota, and Washington to lose next week.

14. Minnesota Vikings 8 7 - Once the Skin’s got a little lead, and could gamble with one on one coverage outside, they put like 9 guys in the box to stop A.D. And Travis couldn’t make em pay for it.

13. Washington Redskins 8 7 - Great game plan for Old Gibbs, and let me say, Todd Collins? 22-29 254 and 2 TD’s? Really?

Last AFC Playoff Teams

12. Tennessee Titans 9 6 – Yes, the Jets are playing better, but come on, all you could muster was 10 points? And VY doesn’t even really run anymore, man is anybody going to be the cover of madden this year?

11. Cleveland Browns 9 6 - Come on, don’t make the Cowboys pick a late rounder, and then NOT make the playoffs. COME ON!

The I Can't beleive that one of these teams will be in the second round of the Playoffs Tier

10. New York Giants 10 5 - they showed me a little something this week. You know what it was? Brandon Jacobes can play, Eli can’t.

9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 9 6 - Story of this game, Graham 9 rush 21 yards, Bennett 5 rush 16 yards. Nice.

Scary Teams, but they could also get the shit kicked out of them.

8. Pittsburgh Steelers 10 5 - They needed a nice win, and they got it. Then they got some good luck with Cle loosing. I still don’t think this team can beat Jacksonville.

7. Seattle Seahawks 10 5 - Very quietly making a strong push forward, getting healthy, and getting ready for the playoffs. Going to be fun to watch this team go to Green Bay in a few weeks.

The Got a Real Shot at the Winning in the Playoffs Tier.

6. San Diego Chargers 9 5 – I am putting this team in this tier if assuming they win tonight, but if they don’t then they are just below the Steelers. Like the Seahawks, this team is ready to make some noise.

5. Jacksonville Jaguars 11 4 – Here is how it will go down, If Jacksonville plays NE, they could beat them, but they won’t beat Indy.

4. Green Bay Packers 12 3 – Thank you Bears! One thing though, Ryan Grant might be legit.

3. Indianapolis Colts 13 2 - Could Marvin play this week? If he comes back and gets them to the championship game, that will be one of the coolest stories of the year.

2. Dallas Cowboys 13 2 – A win is a win, and this once means that they can rest some people next week. They will need that with TO going down.

The Best Ever, at least regular season.

1. New England Patriots 15 0 And, they are going to do it. No doubt about it.

There you go, a little Christmas eve NFL. Sex Me.