What the hell is wrong with people?

Really? REALLLYY???

H/T: FilmDrunk

Happy Halloween!

If this doesn't put you in the spirit, I don't know what will.



HT : Warming Glow

and if your into the best part of this fantastic holliday, chicks dressing like hookers, Holy Taco has a gallery you check out here . With stuff like this.

What the hell is happening in Redskins land?

As a Cowboy fan, I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t at all giddy at the fact that the Redskins haven’t been a contender for 10 years.  However, there’s only a certain amount of pleasure you can take in a fandom’s plight when they’re on the ground bleeding and keep getting kicked in the head.

Is it safe to say that Dan Snyder is the worst owner in the NFL?  He’s got contention from Al Davis (and to a lesser degree, Jerrah), but no one could be more blinded by his own perceived light than this guy.

Take a look a this from Steinberg's blog…

“…there's a new policy that says no signs of any sort are permitted inside the stadium. Even signs sending best wishes to husbands in Afghanistan.

When and why was this change made? I asked Monday morning, and as of Monday evening, a Redskins spokesman said he still wasn't sure.

…

Now, no signs or banners are permitted whatsoever. A spokesman told me that this policy is meant to protect spectators from getting injured by signs, and also to make sure everyone can see the action. Because obstructed views at that stadium could not possibly be tolerated.”

What. In. The. Fuck.

How far up one’s ass does one’s head need to be to not realize how bad things really are around them?

Bad signings.  Zero patience.  No listening to the advisors around him.

Either Snyder has adopted the Beltway attitude of “things are great on the hill, who cares about off of it” or he’s really just envisioning himself as some kind of dictator who must crush any kind of rebellion against him.  Either way, it’s come to a point where I actually feel sorry for Redskins fans.

 

(Note:  I do not feel sorry for Redskins fans.)

Mavericks Season Preview

Check out the team breakdown at Mavs Money Ball.  Here’s the overview…

So, what are we looking at in the NBA this year?

-Shaq's in Cleveland, making his fourth alliance with "the next big thing" (Hardaway, Bryant, wade, James).
-Boston picked up Sheed
-Orlando brought home Vinsanity
-LAL brought in a pit bull with Artest
-San Antonio got really scary with McDyess and Jefferson
-Oh, and that Blazers team that everyone said a better point guard because Steve Blake wasn't it?  Yeah, they're a year older and got Andre Miller.

Needless to say, the NBA's rich just got richer.  There are a host of other story lines: refs, impending CBA lockout, Von Wafer's hair, Blake Griffin's ACL which I am now referring to as "the Clipper's ticking time bomb", but that's not why you're reading this...you wanna know about your Dallas Mavericks.

Click here to read Brown's preview over at MavsMoneyBall.com

Predictions:

EAST
1) Cleveland (LeBron, Shaq...yeah)
2) Orlando (Lost the Turkish MJ, got Vince Carter...wash)
3) Boston (They're old, but they're the good old)
4) Toronto (Bosh and Hedo, I smell buddy flick!)
5) Atlanta (Joe Johnson and Jamal Crawford is gonna be lethal)
6) Chicago (Baby Bulls and Vinny of the Black!)
7) Detroit (New look Pistons with Gordon and Villanueva)
8) Philadelphia (Elton Brand is healthy. Eddie Jordon brings the Princeton offense.)

West
1) Los Angeles (if I need to specify, you're retarded)
2) Portland (I'm telling you, these kids are going to be good)
3) San Antonio (Healthy Manu and Jefferson on the wings? McDyess at the five and Duncan at the four? Yikes.)
4) Utah (Same old)
5) Denver (Melo's hungier than ever)
6) Dallas (I just broke them down)
7) New Orleans (The Paul and Chandler pick and roll was special to watch…how well can it run with Okafor?)
8) Golden State (I really really like Stephen Curry in Nellie-ball)

Finals: San Antonio & Cleveland

Champion: San Antonio

You guys are WHERE??

We’re blogging with big boy pants now.  Just like we’ve moved our wrestling thoughts over to The New PWB, we’ve been asked to contribute to Mavs Money Ball this season on SBNation.  I’m not sure how we were selected, and it’d be a lie to say that we aren’t excited about it.

Quick note to our ass hole commenters, MMB is a big-boy blog and we’d rather you kept it sportsy over there.  I may or may not be posting more TB&TB flavored versions of posts over here, so you can comment your ass off to those. 

Also, we’ve re-instated the twitter page (@bigandthebrown), and I’ve been keeping up on that front.

It’s an internet revolution, mother fuckers, TB&TB style.

College Footbal Weekly Round up - Week 8

Mark Ingram Heisman?

We are starting to reach the point in the season where things really start happening. Most of the pretender team have been washed out, and this is the time where the cream of the crop start to rise to the top. Being a man of size, I'm pretty big fan of cream, and I'm looking around this college football landscape, and I see very little cream. Very. Little. Cream.

Sure there are a few big school still undefeated at the top of the standings, and more than likely two of the big three will ride the course and stay undefeated and play for a national championship, but in my honest opinion, it wouldn't surprise me if all three of them have one loss going into bowl season.

The fun part about this year is the running joke series that is the BCS, and what they will do if two smaller schools are the only two that run into January undefeated. What will the BCS do if, for example, Bamma and Texas drop a game, Bamma then beats Florida in the SEC championship game, and the only undefeated teams are TCU, Boise, and Cincy. One of those guys has to get a shot at the BCS title game, right? How awesome would a Cincy TCU bcs game be? On the rankings

Main Eventers

No. 1 Florida (Win 29-19, Mississippi State) - 13-10 at half time. Against Mississippi State. Sure your defense is good, but you have to do better than 2-12 on third downs if you want to repeat. If State can shut down your passing game, can't wait to see what the Sabin can do.

No. 3 Texas (Win 41-7, Missouri) - I don't understand the voters in either poll. Texas wins a close game, at a neutral site, against what we all thought was a top 5 team in nation at the start of the year, and they drop back to three. Yet when they destroy a former top 25 team on the road and the number 2 team has to block a gimme field goal to win, and they still stay three. I'm pretty sure CBS said "hey, lets just leave Bamma and Florida 1-2, so when they play each other in the SEC title game, we can call it a 1 vs 2 game! Think of the ratings!"

I thought after the Oklahoma game i had seen the best defensive game that Texas would play all year, then they follow it up with this one. Allowing only 174 yards to a good Missouri team is quite impressive. I still have my doubts about the offense (137 yards rushing is good, but 7 guys rushing to do that isn't), but this Texas defense seems good enough to hoist a trophy this year.

No. 2 Alabama (win 12-10, Tennessee) - 2 things I learned walking away from this game. 1. Bama's got some great luck, and one hell of a defensive front. 2. Some point in the next 4 years, Tennessee is going to be the Tits of the SEC. With only 4 games left for the Tide, the LSU game in two weeks should be interesting, but with two weeks to prepare for it shouldn't be too tough, that leaves only Auburn at the end of the year as a game that could be in doubt, but probably won't be. Bama is ripe and ready to go against Florida in the SEC title game.

No. 5 Cincinnati (win 41-10, Louisville) - For the first time Cincy is entering my Main Event status, mainly because I don't know if 2 of the three team above them can go the distance, and even without star Tony Pike, the BearCats put up almost 500 yards and 41 points on Louisville.

Mid Carders

No. 6 Iowa (win 15-13, Michigan State) - Usually an undefeated big 10 team at this point of the year is in my top tier, but not this team. To beat a very average Mich State team, it took a TD pass at the buzzer. If they can beat Ohio State in three weeks, then i will consider them legit.

No. 8 TCU (win 38-7, No. 16 Brigham Young) - Watched this one VS and I must say the presentation was pretty good, but the play by play guy was about as terrible as it gets. Look VS, i know you want to have an "edgy" feel for your station, make it seam like a guys network, but I don't need somebody who is trying to be Gus Johnson. Gus Johnson is greatness, but what makes him great is the idea his super excited calls are genuine and don't feel forced what so ever.

Now, on the TCU, who scored on three of their first 5 drives, and taking a 21-0 lead, in Utah, against a team that beat Oklahoma on a neutral site. This game was over in the third quarter when QB Dalton hit WR Hicks for a 75 yard score.

No. 4 Boise State (win 54-9, Hawaii) - What can you say, Boise dominated every aspect of this game, as they should have. Its just getting hard to remember that win over Oregon at home so long ago. And with nobody on the schedule that is worth a 50 cent steak, i fear I will forget that game before its all said and done completely.

No. 7 USC (win 42-36, Oregon State) - If the BCS apocalypse happens, and we are left with a couple non BCS schools undefeated, and a bunch of one loss powers schools, you can't count out the men of Troy. The one loss on the road, coupled with another pac 10 championship, which would include a win over fellow one loss Oregon, might be enough to have the over hyped Trojans in the title game again. Of course there are a lot of things that must happen for that to take place, and that includes a win this week at Eugene, against a very good Oregon team.

We are going to forsake the Developmental teams this week, due to lack of quality teams at the bottom of the top 25. It just seams that every time you think you know something about a team, they shit the bed and arn't worth talking about. I'm looking at you Texas AM (get rolled by K-State then roll Tech) and Nebraska (Iowa State? Really?)

So instead I'm going to give you your college football schedule for watching on TV coming up on Halloween.

11:00 AM No. 8 Cincinnati at Syracuse - See if Greg Paulus can stop the Bearcat Cinderella season (hint: he can't).

2:30 PM Georgia vs. No. 1 Florida - The Dogs don't have much to play for this year, so this could be a trap game (hint: it won't be)

7:00 PM No. 3 Texas at No. 14 Oklahoma State - Biggest road game for Texas all year.

7:00 PM No. 5 USC at No. 10 Oregon - I would say flip between the two, but they are both on ABC, so enjoy the Texas game. I'm calling for an Oregon upset if you care.

Happy Halloween people.

A product all girls should have.

I remember seeing this awhile ago, but forgot about it till i saw it agian today.

I would totally get my girlfriend one of these, but you as you know, she is in Europe, waiting on a visa, and she doesn't like talking on the phone with people she has never met, but trust me, she is real.

College Footbal Weekly Round up - Week 6

I know I missed last week. I'm a bad person. But very little has really happend in college football. Same as 2 weeks ago there are so far 3 legit teams, Florida, Texas, Alabama, a slew of next tier guys, and a few less BCS busters. Lets get to the rankings

Main Event.

No. 1 Florida (Win 13-3, No. 4 LSU) - Took care of business in what was their biggest test to date in Baton Rouge. Any of the next three could be trap games, home to Arkansas, @Miss State, home Georgia, but I think Bamma vs. Florida in the SEC title game is going to happen.

No. 2 Texas (Win 38-14, Colorado) - Looked like shit for a half, then remembered that Colorado sucked. Here come the "this is only thing that matters anymore" Sooners. Be warned.

No. 3 Alabama (Win 22-3, No. 20 Mississippi) - So much for the Jevon Sneed hype, 11-34, 140 yards, 4 picks.

Mid Carders

No. 5 Virginia Tech (win 48-14, Boston College) - Only loss was to Bamma, and they have wins over Nebraska and Miami. If they can survive Georgia Tech this week, they could not lose again the rest of the year.

No. 9 Ohio State (win 31-13, Wisconsin) - Looks like TP is starting to get it. Ohio State won't be in the national title game this year, but look out for them in a rematch vs USC in the rose bowl, they could take em.

No. 6 USC (idle) - Hope they lose to Notre Dame this week, but I doubt it. Looking forward to USC Oregon on Halloween.

Developmental

No. 16 Kansas (Win 41-36, Iowa State) - Still unbeaten, looks like them and Nebraska will get the right to lose to either Oklahoma or Texas.

No. 13 Oregon (win 24-10, UCLA) - Only team in the Pac 10 that is undefeated in conference. @Washington, then host USC coming up. Time to show me.

I'm going to hold off talking about UNT until next week, as we had another heart breaking last second loss this week. But its Homecoming this week, and I will tell you what happens at homecoming next week.

Giggle

Don't worry the college post will be up later today. This was too funny to pass up.





more like this over at Comicsalliance.com

(I know, i'm a dork)

So, now that they’re done, will you talk about them?

 

Yes.  Now, that they’re done, I’m going to talk about “them”, the Texas Rangers.

What can you say about this season short of it was fantastic?  I understand that the team fell short of the playoffs by petering out and playing a shitty last 20 games.  (I’m assuming the last 6 games aren’t going to be gangbusters and the Red Sox aren’t going to drop 6 straight.)   However, this season was much different than the 80+ win season of a few years ago. 

One reason.  There’s a future.

A couple of years ago, when the Rangers had the nice season no one believed that the next season or seasons were going to be great.  That team wasn’t young, it had guys like Tex who we all knew wasn’t going to stay.  It was an aberration.  

The team this season actually backed up the message that we’ve been hearing from the front office for years. “Wait for 2009, wait for 2010, that’s when we compete.”  Now, the young prospects are paying off, more importantly, it’s the pitching that’s arrived.  The staff is young and promising.  Feldman, Hunter, Nippert, Holland, Feliz, all set for promising futures.  Add in the futures of young guys like Davis, Murphy, Andrus, Borbon and upcoming guys like Smoake and you’ve got a nice core of players to work with.

So why are we still worried as fans? 

Money. 

Tom Hicks ran out of money this year, and the MLB has, for all intents and purposes, taken over the Rangers.  Which means that the other owners have a say in how things are run.  Which means the Rangers can only offer slot values for draft picks, hence not being able to sign their top pick this year. It means not having the capital to sign free agents, which MUST HAPPEN WITH MARLON BYRD AND JOSH HAMILTON.

Tom Hicks has always been the problem with the Rangers.  The front office and the team are finally solid and promising, but the problem begins and ends with the owner.   If Tom Hicks can’t sell his team to a buyer who can afford to grow the Rangers, all the good vibes ad promise that have been built this season are for shit.

College Footbal Weekly Round up - Week 4

Oh JoePa, I'm sorry.

Two things struck me this weekend while watching college football, One, weekend with no "good games" on the schedule almost always become good football watching Saturdays, and two, TB&TB College Round up is starting to gather a Madden/SI like curse for the who i talk about for the first time, and/or put a pic of on top. Sorry Javed Best and JaCory Harris, my bad.

Main Eventers:

No. 1 Florida (Win 41-7, Kentucky) - This one was never close. The end of the first quarter it was 31-0. Tebow ran for 2 more TD's and is like 3 behind the great Hershel Walker for most rushing TD's in SEC history or some such. Something to watch, Tebow took a shot in the third quarter, head got bounced off the turf, took a little ambulance ride to the hospital for a overnight servalence. Insert your own "Tebow rises from the un-opened tomb three days later joke" here.

No. 3 Alabama (Win 35-7, Arkansas) - Yup, I moved Alabama ahead of Texas. Body of work so far. That's the only reason. One of the best analysis of Bamma I have heard all season was said by the play by play guy of their game this week. I'm going to paraphrase it suchly "bamma had one way of beating you last year, pure, over powering brutality. This year they have many ways they can beat you, but they can do none of those things as well as they could just beat you down last year."

Basically he's saying, nobody really knows what kind of team this bamma team is, all we know is that they are good, really good. Like "freaky" good.

No. 2 Texas (win 64-7, UTEP) - Got a text from brown early in this game, "Colt pick six, time to start drinking." While I was pissed he didn't use the "taint" phrase (Touchdown After INT), little did we know, that would be the only points UTEP could muster. At one point late in the game, Texas even put in a white out offense, consisting of all white players. True story. Not even one Mexican.

And to this point in the season, those are the only teams worthy of playing for a national title. Things could change, but when it comes to the big schools, that are still undefeated, that look good enough to be crowned, that's it.

Mid Carders

No. 7 LSU (win 30-26, Mississippi State) - Good things for LSU in this game: they caused 4 turnovers, Bad things: only 263 total yards. Maybe they were looking forward to two weeks when they host Florida, or this week when they go to UGA, but if they can't do a better job of moving to the ball against the gators or the bulldogs for that matter, its going to be a rough couple of weeks.

No. 11 Virginia Tech (Win 31-7, No. 9 Miami (FL)) - It was raining, hard, at VaTech this weekend, so much so that neither team did anything in the air. Combined they had 248 yards passing. The weather, plus a good defense completely took JaCory Harris out of the game. No Harris, no chance for the U to win. So as of right now, VaTech is the best one loss team in the nation, with wins over Nebraska and Miami, and their only loss coming against Alabama.

No. 10 Oklahoma(idel) - Time for the Sooners to prove if they are worthy of being in the hunt with the big boys, they go to Miami this week.

No. 13 Ohio State (win 30-0, Illinois) - Illinois isn't a terrible team, and with Iowa proving that they are somewhat legit, OSU now has one hell of season ending trifecta, @Penn State, home Iowa, @Mich.

No. 14 Cincinnati (win 28-20, Fresno State) - Despite the fact the BearCats only had 57 yards rushing and only had the ball for 16 min, they continue to win. Tony Pike has gone over 300 yards passing in all but one of his games, and has thrown multiply TD's in all of his games thus far, including 300 yards and 3 td's this week. He is your dark horse Heisman, and Cinncy is your dark horse national title game participant. You herd it here first.

Iowa (Win 21-10, No. 5 Penn State) - So sorry Joe Pa, but Iowa has got your number. For the 8th time in 9 years, Iowa has beaten Penn State, this time in happy valley no less. 4 turn overs, a 3.3 yards per carry, and a monsoon was the reason this year. Is Iowa for real? Doubt it, they always beat somebody they shouldn't, but time will tell.

No. 8 Boise State (win 49-14, Bowling Green) There is 0 difficulty on the rest of Boise's schedule this year. Zero.

No. 17 Houston (Win 29-28, Texas Tech) - So they beat Oklahoma lite, now they have knocked off Tech with a TD inside of one min. Time to start the Hype Train. I will say this, Art Briles, now head coach of Baylor, brought most of the guys who are "rocking it" right now, including QB Keenum (38-58 435, 1-1). Says alot about where Baylor might be heading.

Developmental Teams

No. 20 Kansas (win 35-28, Southern Miss) - Another good win for Kansas, and another great game for Todd Reesing (30-41 331 3-1).

No. 15 TCU (win 14-10, Clemson) - another very nice win for TCU, as they knock off a decent ACC school in Clemson. Again they do it with defense, holding the Tigahs to under 200 yards passing.

Auburn (Win 54-30, Ball State) - Don't look now, but Auburn is 4-0 under new head coach (and former fail of Iowa State) Gene Chizic. 560 total yards of Offense will do that for ya most weeks. They get a good little show me game against Tennessee this week.

Big ups to all my haters upset of the week goes to South Carolina proving my theory that No. 4 Mississippi "aint all that great" by beating them 16-10 on Thursday night. When are teams going to stop scheduling road Thursday night games? The road team never wins those. (unless of course you are north Texas"

Speaking of North Texas, I'm afraid we are back to the old Todd Doge ways this week. After a promising win and near win the first two weeks of the season, I thought this team would be different, but alas, the 37-21 loss to Middle Tennessee State Saturday night proved me wrong. You can't let teams rattle off almost 500 yards against you AND Turn the ball over 5 times. Come on now.

Summer is over.

HT : Warming Glow

“The party passes seems like a good idea…on paper”

 

That was the final (sober) test message I received from Bizzle on his visit to the disastrous opening of the Death Star on Sunday night.  (His tale is comedic enough as it is involving him riding his bike to the stadium, getting drunk, losing his friends, avoiding a riot and being too short to see the screen, but I’ll leave that for him to tell one day.)

I’m a Cowboys fan.  However, the idea of going to that cluster fuck of a stadium and seeing a game in that monstrosity is the most unappealing concept on the planet.   Just so we’re clear, you’re asking me to spend a minimum of $100 (ticket, transportation, beer, parking, etc.) to watch television because I can’t see the field.

“But it’s something to see!” 

“It’s the Cowboys!”

“Games are fun!”

All valid points.  But what am I paying for, really?  The chance to see a poorly coached team half-ass it through a game while an ego-maniacal psycho sits in his booth in the sky and lords over legions of fans who turn on a dime and are interested for maybe 10 minutes?   Teams aren’t afraid to play here.  Our fans aren’t intimidating in the least.

“How dare you say that!?  I’m a fan, I cheer all game long!”

Yeah, you and all the other people shuttled off to the cattle class of the “party pass”.   The stadium itself just doesn’t appear as though it’s fan friendly.   The stadium is seemingly turning into the AAC during Mavs games, which isn’t a good thing.  

“You haven’t been!”

Yeah, fuck you, that isn’t my point.  The reviews of the 100,000 people who did go seem to paint a good enough picture.  

I’ll tell you what events you should go to if you really want a fan experience that’ll blow your fucking nuts off.  College Football. 

Go to a big program’s stadium on a game day and buy a ticket.  It isn’t corporate, it’s fans.  Sure, you’ve got alumni that are pompous and quiet, but they’re the minority, not the majority.  DKR Texas Memorial Stadium?  It’s considered quiet by college football standards, but it’ll rock your balls off on game day. Ever been to Kyle Field on game day?  Fucking Cult Mad house.  I can’t imagine the scene in Gainesville, Ann Arbor, Columbus, etc.

My point is, when the “common” fans are given the control of the stadium/arena, then the home field advantage is felt, and it’s a fun atmosphere and it’s worth the money that you pay for it. When you’re trying to impress the corporations and the high dollar customer, you become a laughing stock and the opportunity cost of going versus staying at home is not even a debate.

NFL Rankings, Doing it Big

I tried to do this last year, every week. I wasn't very good at keeping it going. Alas, I'm here again to offer you a slightly modified version from last year. I won't do this every week, but I will try and knock one of these out every once in a while. Its my look at the NFL, and after two weeks, there are some surprises, but that's why they play the game.

NFL Rankings, after week 2

1 New Orleans Saints 2-0 - This was the hardest spot to pick. My first thought was to put Baltimore number one, but looking at everything, the Saints are the most impressive team after 2 weeks. Not only have they put up ridicules offensive numbers, but new DC Jim Johnson(ED. whoops)Greg Williams has turned this defense into "respectable."

2 Baltimore Ravens 2-0 - When you think about Baltimore, you always think about defense, but so far this season, the defense has been the week point. They have allowed 50 points so far in just 2 games. The good thing? Joe Flaco has a 96.1 QB rating, and has thrown for 5 td's in just 2 games.

3 New York Jets 2-0 - Holy crap, the Jets are good. New head coach Rex Ryan has this defense playing like his early 0's Ravens with a league leading 241 yards allowed. You hold teams to field goals like they are doing, and have a QB, rookie or no, that is as efficient as Sanchez is, wins.

4 New York Giants 2-0 - 2-0 already in the hardest division in all of football. Sure you want more than 52 yards per game from Jacobs, but taking this early lead in the division is nice.

5 Indianapolis Colts 2-0 - I would have them higher if they didn't win their first two games by a combined 6 points. Scary stat? They are allowing 176 yards rushing a game. Yeikes.

6 Atlanta Falcons 2-0 - Solid wins over Miami and Carolina. Ryan looks good. So does Turner. Getting Tony Gonzalez in the off season may have added that one piece this team was lacking last year, a go to reviver when you need 4-8 yards.

7 Minnesota Vikings 2-0 - Favre hasn't imploded, AD is running like a freakin' freight train. They have destroyed two very shitty teams. We will find out what this team is made of over the next 2 weeks, when they host San Fran and Green Bay

8 San Francisco 49ers 2-0 - Speaking of San Fran.....They are now also 2-0 in their division. They traveled to Arizona, won, and hosted Seattle, won. Shaun Hill might not blow you away with his numbers, but when you have a back that averages 6.2 yards a carry, and a defense who has held two very good offenses to 16, and 10 points, you don't need to win games with your arm.

9 New England Patriots 1-1 - Yes, they should be 0-2. Yes, Brady has attempted 100 passes in just two games. Yes, Randy Moss has yet to get into the end zone. Yes, trading away their best pass rusher is biting them in the ass. All of those things are true. But this is still New England. This is still Belchick. And they were missing Welker last week.

10 Pittsburgh Steelers 1-1 - If they didn't miss that feild goal, and Tennessee didn't lose to Houston, I would have put them at least in front to New England. They have played the toughest first two games, of any team, and looked good in both for the most part. Troy's injury is proving not only that the madden curse is real, but his presence is being vastly missed on the field.

11 San Diego Chargers 1-1 - Baby Pocket Sproles might be my favorite player in the league right now. He's little, but he's mean. Whats not little is the amount of points the chargers defense has given up in two weeks. 20 points to Oakland? Come on now.

12 Chicago Bears 1-1 - Is Cutlerfucker the saving grace of this once proud franchise? Will Matt Forte do ANYTHING on offense? Is anybody still reading this? I don't really know the answers to any of those questions, but I can tell you that being 1-1 when you play on opening weekend, Sunday night at Green Bay, and host the defending Superbowl champs is pretty good. They go to Seattle, who may not have Hassellquarterback, and then host Detroit. 3-1 is not out of the question.

13 Dallas Cowboys 1-1 - Good things. O Lines has been pretty good, Running game has been pretty good, WR's have been pretty good. Bad Things. Demarcus Ware has 0 sacks. The Defense can't tackle. The Secondary looks as soft as a twinkie. Goodbye wade phillips.

14 Green Bay Packers 1-1 - Looked great against the Bears, held Forte to like 20 yards, then the Bengals and Ced Benson ran all over them. Ryan Grant was supposed to be healthy and ready to take the next step, unless the next step is 107 yards and 3.6 yards per carry, your in trouble.

15 Denver Broncos 2-0 - wouldn't surprise me if they finish 2-14. Fluke win over cincy, and then they beat up on the worst team in the NFL. At some point this season, I'm calling it, we will see Chirs Sims take snaps in Denver. Mark it.

16 Philadelphia Eagles 1-1 - Oh what a diference McNabb makes. Wait, he dosn't play defense. nevermind. Show me Mike Vick!

17 Seattle Seahawks 1-1 - This is a team that I think is due for a bounce back year. Then Hassellquarterback went down. That's not good.

18 Tennessee Titans 0-2 - I'm sure people in Tennessee are freaking out because of their 0-2 start. They lost to 2 good teams, so chill out. Wait, Kerry Collins is still your QB. Continue to freak out.

19 Miami Dolphins 0-2 - After Monday's game, I am openly rooting for Miami. They brought us the WildCat, which everybody thought would be a little bit of fad, team would run in once or twice a game. Not the Dolphins. They love that shit. It's like watching Boise State play Oklahoma every week. Love it.

20 Houston Texans 1-1 - Everybody "watch out for them this year" team got shut down by the Jets, then everybody else who didn't think they were very good said "ha, told ya so." Then they outscored Tennessee and the freakish Chris Johnson last week. Now they are back on the "gonna make the playoffs" kick. Truth is? 8-8.

21 Arizona Cardinals 1-1 - Were they hungover from the Superbowl against San Fran? Not really. San Fran is a decent team. You know who's not? Jacksonville. The offense is still good. Warner is still old. Its going to be dog fight in this division, with the winning team probably having a 9-6 record, and losing to a wild card team.

22 Buffalo Bills 1-1 - MUCH better than I thought they were going to be. The Defense looks pretty good, and Trent Edwards has moved from serviceable QB to a decent one. Big show me something game this week against N.O.

23 Washington Redskins 1-1 - Defense is good. Offense is terrible. They won't win more than 6 games as long as Jason Campbell is their QB. Sam Bradford anyone?

24 Oakland Raiders 1-1 - This team might have something. They have some playmakers on offense (McFadden, Miller, that other WR), and a defense that is very respectable. Problem? JaMarcus Russell looks hideous.

25 Cincinnati Bengals 1-1 - The quintisental "older team trying to make one more run at it." If they don't make the payoffs, look for Marvin Lewis to be gone, Ochocinco to be gone, and another rebuilding process in Cincy.

26 Jacksonville Jaguars 0-2 - People in Jacksonville can't even watch the games on TV because only like 20,000 people are going to the games. Average Team + Shitty attendance = 5-11

27 Carolina Panthers 0-2 - Oh Jake Delhome, what happend? You have a stud running game, good WR's, and a line that is above average, yet you only muster a 45.3 QB rating in your first 2 games. For shame.

28 Kansas City Chiefs 0-2 - I would buy stock in KC if the NFL were the stock market and I had some expendable cash. Will they be very good this year? Probably not. Are they on the uptick though, yes.

29 Tampa Bay Buccaneers 0-2 - I kinda feel bad for Byron Leftwhich. He was thought of as one of the can't miss QB just a few short year ago. Now he is given the starting job in Tampa by default, and is blowing it. He just isn't very good. And neither are the Bucs.

30 St. Louis Rams 0-2 - 2 games, 7 points. Nuff Said.

31 Detroit Lions 0-2 - I would like to congratulate the Lions on not being the worst team in the NFL anymore. Not because they don't suck, They suck big harry balls, but its because the Browns take the gravy train every time they go on the field.

32 Cleveland Browns 0-2 - Oh Brady Quinn. You beautiful bastard. 1 TD in 2 games? Maybe if you played from behind more you would get more chances, oh wait.

College Footbal Weekly Round up - Week 3

Two Heismen Guys you may not know.

I may have OD'ed this weekend. As big of a football fan as I am, I don't think I could ever say that it was possible to watch too much football, but i over the past few days, I may have watched too much football. I went to a high school game Thursday night, and Friday night. I went to watch my beloved mean green kickoff against Alabama on Saturday at 11:30 AM at a local watering hole, and then stayed at said watering hole all day. From kickoff to last play of the west coast games. To top it all off, I spent 10 hours or so watching NFL over at browns house Sunday. (He makes money, he can afford the Sunday Ticket.)

It was quite a weekend. Did i watch too much football? Maybe. Would I do it again this weekend if given the chance? Absolutely.

On to the rankings.

Main Eventers

No. 1 Florida (Win 23-13, Tennessee) - The first semi test for the defending champs, and they passed with flying colors. The defense held the Vols to just 210 total yards, only 93 of which came in the air. They got Kentucky this week, and then travel to Baton Rouge to play LSU in two weeks. That's going to be fun.

No. 2 Texas (win 34-24, Texas Tech) - The 10-3 halftime score surprised me, I don't care how many new players Tech has, holding them to just 3 points in a half is a good thing. We all know the next game that really matter for Texas is Oklahoma, and its not a good sign when a team can come into your house, and pass for over 400 yards like Taylor Potts did in this game, but they have to feel good about allowing just -6 yards rushing. Two weeks of shitty teams (UTEP, Colorado) are the only ones left before the daunting 3 game stretch of Oklahoma, at Missouri, at Oklahoma State.

No. 4 Alabama (Win 53-7, North Texas) - So much for shocking the world. Reily didn't play, and that's a good things, as Bama's D was way to much for Dodge ball. Not gonna win alot of games when you rush for 61 yards. Ohh and on the bamma tip, Greg McElroy can play. The back up Star Jackson (what a crazy good porn name) didn't look to shabby either.

No. 8 California (Win 35-21, Minnesota) - Very Nice win for the Bears. Minnesota came in undefeated just like Cal, but the nations most electric runner, Javeed Best, was just to much. His 131 yards on the ground and 5 touchdowns were ridiculous.

No. 9 LSU (Win 31-3, Louisiana-Lafayette) - I hesitated putting LSU in my top 5, but after Washingotn beat USC, their narrow victory over the Huskers doesn't look so bad anymore. Couple that with them crushing Vanderbilt and ULa-La, and they might be a legit team. They have to travel to Georgia in two weeks, followed by a home game against Florida, so they are going to have a chance to earn it in the coming weeks.

Mid Carders -

No. 5 Penn State (Win 31-6, Temple) - Like I said the last two weeks, they will stay here till they play at Mich in late October.

No. 5 Mississippi (win 52-6, Southeastern Louisiana) - Maybe its Houston Nutt, maybe its because EVERYBODY is picking these guys to be the surprise team out of the SEC this year, but I just can't buy into the hype. Is Jevon Sneed a good QB? Yes. Have they put up points against 2 lesser teams? Big time. But I still don't think when balls are on the wall, these guys are more than a 9 win team. Good? Yes. BCS worthy? Nope. They go to South Carolina this week for the first kinda test of the young season.

No. 10 Boise State (Win 51-34, Fresno State) - If Boise goes undefeated, do they have a shot at the national title? They have proved they could grind it out against a good team with the win against Oregon, and this week they got into a shoot out and just rolled Fresno State. Between the two teams, there was almost 1000 yards of total offense, and over 600 yards running.

No. 20 Miami (FL) (Win 33-17, No. 14 Georgia Tech) - Got a text from Brown on Friday that red, "DO you believe the JeCory Harris hype? At first i didn't know who JeCory Harris was, but that's because in my NCAA10 video game, the online dynasty that I am in with Bear, he is Miami and he did the "generate names" bit, and needless to say, his QB isn't Jecory Harris. To the original question, I do believe the hype.

Miami, who might have the hardest first 3 games out of college in the nation, has now beaten (soundly), Florida State and Georgia Tech. Their reward? Going to VaTech this weekend.

No. 11 Ohio State (Win 38-0, Toledo) - The first one loss team that I've put on my board in part because I think they are better than most teams, but mostly because of the game they played Saturday. Toledo is a trap game of sorts, and OSU just straight up punched them in the mouth. Terrelle Pryor (no relation to Richard, despite the questions at the bar Saturday) is still young, and still has many many flaws, but this super Sophomore showed flashes of why this kid was the cats meow coming out of High School. Saturday he had 262 yards passing, 3 td's and a 2 picks, to go with 112 yards rushing and another TD. If he can become a better drop back passer, OSU will be back at the top of my list pretty quick.

Developmental Teams

No. 17 Cincinnati (win 28-18, Oregon State) - Fear the BearCat. Oregon state is a decent team, and were no match for Tony Pike and company. Pike brought his team back from a 21-8 halftime deficit, with his 332 yards passing. Looking at their schedule, there is no reason Cincy can't go undefeated this year. They will be favored in every game they play from this point out, and they get West Virgina and Illinois at home.

No. 15 TCU (Win 56-21, Texas State) - With BYU losing bit go Florida State, TCU is now the number two BCS buster in the nation behind Boise. Unlike most of the BCS buster schools in the past (Boise, Hawaii, Utah), TCU really gets it done on defense. They held shitty Texas State to under 300 total yards of offense. They go to Clemsen this week, another game they should win.

Texas A&M (Win 38-30, Utah State) - A&M is notorious for not playing anybody early in the year, and this year is no different. But unlike the past few seasons, they are actually winning these games this year. Their QB Jerrod Johnson has looked solid so far this season, helping them get off to this 2-0 start, including putting up 322 yards and 4 TD's this game. Another warm up against UAB this week, before Arkansas comes to town.

No. 22 Kansas (win 44-16, Duke) - I said it last week, and I'll say it again this week, people are sleeping on Kansas and the fighting Mangino's. Tod Reesing is a legit QB, and they should rattle off 3 more "easy" wins before hosting Oklahoma in late October.

Big Ups to all my Haters upset of the week is Alabama over North Texas Washington 16-13, No. 3 USC. The superstar freshmen QB Barkley didn't play for USC, but Jake Locher did for Washington, and he lead his team in what has become a yearly occurrence for USC, losing a conference game they should have have easily. Things like this will happen when you turn the ball over 3 times and don't force any, just ask the Cowboys.

North Texas didn't win. Already talked a bit about it. This week stars SunBelt play and we will really see if this teams week one win over Ball State was the turnaround we thought it was or not.

Fantasy Football. Help me understand it.

Unlike what my portly blogger friend told you, I don’t feel like I’m better than people who play fantasy football, and I don’t feel like it’s below me.

I just don’t get the fascination.  I mean it.  Everyone I know, damn near everyone I know, follows/plays fantasy football like it is their job/career/life.  Shit, even FX is putting a show together that is wholly based around the concept of guys playing fantasy football.  Part of the Sunday Ticket package is to follow “your players’” statistics. It’s literally, I’d say, as big as the game itself now.

That’s fine, I don’t have a problem with it.  It doesn’t get in the way of my watching football, and it usually leads to some pretty entertaining (yet petty) arguments among my friends that I get to watch from the stands.  However, I just don’t see the appeal.  In my mind, and I swear to God, I don’t mean this in a demeaning way, it’s like Dungeons and Dragons.  A bunch of guys create a fantasy scenario where they "own people” and based on stats of events outside of one’s direct control, the game is played out.

Being so disconnected from fantasy sports, I really have some questions that I’d like answered.  Again, this isn’t to demean anyone who plays fantasy football (everyone), this is really just for me to try and understand why it’s so popular.

Brooks over at SBB has put something similar up, so I’m just going to borrow his questionnaire.

• Why do you play fantasy sports?
• To keep up with my favorite players
• To stay close with distant friends
• To make money
• Everyone else does it
• Other
• How has fantasy football affected your relationship with your significant other?
• No change
• Helped
• Damaged
• Not applicable
• How has fantasy sports affected your relationship with your favorite teams?
• Added to my love for my favorite team
• Diminished my love for my favorite team
• No change
• I’m a bandwagon fan, so it doesn’t matter
• Has fantasy football been good for the NFL?
• Yes, it has increased interest
• No, it’s just perverted fan allegiances
• No change
• Fantasy football _____
• is here to stay, so you might as well get on board
• is a fad, and isn’t going to last forever
• isn’t for everyone

Unlike what you might normally think I’d do, I’m not looking to shit on fantasy football because it’s popular…like I do with Twitter and music.   I agree with Brooks in that I think it’s gotten big not because of people, but because the media embraced it…like betting lines or anal.

By the way, just answer the questions or share a quick comment or two, don’t write a fucking essay response like I’ve asked you about you thoughts on the political climate of the United States. (Yes, Bear, I’m looking at your long winded ass)

Patrick Swayze Died

You probably swung by expecting some jokes about how “God has a bouncer for the pearly gates now” or how Whoopi Goldberg is gonna hear shit on the set of “The View”.

I’m not going to do that.  Only because Swayze died of cancer, and cancer isn’t funny.  Making fun of cancer is just asking for some bad shit to happen.  Trust me, my people invented the concept of karma and I’m afraid of jinxing sports teams, so I won’t make a cancer joke.

You know what is funny?

College Footbal Weekly Round up - Week 2

Yea, the Houston hand sign is a shocker. UH my ass. wait, did I just say my ass and shocker in the same caption? That can't be good.

The first "show me" weekend has happened, and 1 team has proven themselves as legit(USC), one that couldn't live up to the hype(Oklahoma Lite), and 3 teams that might be more of a contender than you think(Michigan, TCU, Cincinnati).

Lets just get straigt into the bisnazz.

Main Eventers

No. 1 Florida (Win 56-6, Troy) - HoHum, the best team in the land beat another under matched team in the Gator second pre season game. This week we find out how good they are, and also if Tennessee is for real.

No. 3 USC (Win 18-15, No. 8 Ohio State) - Ohio State has T.Pryor, the fastest man alive, and USC was rolling out their superstar in waiting freshmen QB Matt Barkley. I really thought this was the year Ohio State got this monkey off their back. For 3 and a half quarters, Barkley looked like a freshmen QB starting his first big road game, then the last drive happened, where he was just nails. When USC took the lead 1:05 left, I thought to myself, "self, I really hope Pryor can lead them down to a FG and send this bitch into overtime. This is where the hypetrain really takes off for Pryor." Man was I wrong.

On a side note how is Jim Tressell not on the hot seat? Yea he wins in the big 10. He beats Michigan, which we all know is what they live for in Columbus, but over the past 4 years, he has lost to Texas (VY), beat Texas (Fresh Colt), Lost to USC (Sanchez), and lost to USC (Barkley), in their big non con games. Couple this with his BCS record is an average 4-3, how much magic does his 2002 national title hold, when it itself was about as lucky a season as one could have?

No. 2 Texas (win 41-10, Wyoming) - 13-10 at the half? That's not looking too good, but then Colt McCoy came alive, throwing for 2 TD's and running one in as well. Texas Tech comes to Austin for a revenge game this week, should get a better feel for this team after that one.

No. 4 Alabama (win 40-14, Florida International) - Freshmen RB Trent Richardson was fantastic in this blowout(15-118 2 TD's). I'm still not sold on their QB, but this Bamma team is better than last year. God I hope Riley dosn't play this week and we just chalk it up to a loss and get our paycheck.

Mid Carders

No. 7 Penn State (Win 28-7, Syracuse) - Like I said last week, they will stay here till they play at Mich in late October. QB Dayrll Clark was solid again going for 240 and 3 TD's.

No. 10 California (Win 59-7, Eastern Washington) - Holy Crap Javeed Best is a Beast! The Golden bear running back is built like an elite back (5'10", 190) in the mold of Emmit Smith, yet is faster than both Barry and Bush. He put it on Eastern Washington for 144 on 17 carries. Watch out USC.

No. 16 TCU (Win 30-14, Virginia) - Yea, UVA lost to William and Mary last week, i know, but they are still a big conference school, and TCU went to their turf, and hit them in the mouth repeatedly. Frogs were lead by a Defense that shut out UVA till late in the fourth. Could this be the year?

No. 9 Brigham Young (win 54-3, Tulane) - No let down here. BYU rolled

No. 13 Oklahoma (Win 64-0, Idaho State) - Poor Idaho State, had to let OU take out all the frustrations of last week out on them. QB Landry Jones played alright, but when your defense allowed only 44 total yards, including -22 rushing, a chimp could play QB and you will win.

Development Teams

No. 23 Cincinnati (Win 70-3, Southeast Missouri State) - I know its against a multi-directional team, but when you hang 70, your doing something right. So now, the BearCats have soundly beaten Rutgers (45-17) and hung 70 on someone. Watch out.

Michigan (Win 38-34, No. 18 Notre Dame) - Well, that Notre Dame run was fun while it lasted. This might have been one of the most fun games to watch that will happen all season. It was back and forth (5 lead changes), high scoring, full of big plays, and won with 5 seconds left, when freshmen QB Tate Forcier hit Greg Mathews for the win. What a game.

No. 24 Kansas (win 34-7, UTEP) - The forgotten team in the Big 12, with the best QB people still aren't talking about, has put up some good numbers over the first 2 weeks of the season. Two weeks, when they host southern miss, we will find out how real this team is.

Auburn (Win 49-24, Mississippi State) - Mississippi State is no Alabama, but they are an SEC team, and Auburn put up 589 total yards, and 390 yards rushing against them. Auburn may not be the cock of the walk in the SEC this year, but they are dangerous enough to make some noise.

Big Ups to all my Haters upset of the week is an easy one. Fresh off of "proving themselves" against Georgia last week, Oklahoma State let little old Houston come in and beat them 45-35. Houston's QB Case Keenum was talked about a lot coming into this year as one of those QB's from a small school that could be a good pro, well, 32-46 for 366 and 3 TD's against one of the best d's in the big 12 will help prove that story.

If you were anywhere in the vicinity of the Mid Cities Saturday night, possibly at the Euless Trinity vs Ceder Hill game i was working, and you heard a giant "FUCK!" seemingly coming from nowhere, I'm sorry, because as I was working, I kept checking the old gay phone to see how my beloved Mean Green of North Texas was doing in Denton. They looked good all game, but blew it in the rain of Denton in double overtime. Good news? We held Ohio to 232 yards, Bad News? Reily Dodge went down in the second half. I kinda hope he dosn't play Saturday due to the fact as Gerry Dorsey puts it "Terrence Cody Takes shits the size of Riley Dodge."

Late NFL Preview

 

Yes, I’m aware that Week 1 has just started in the NFL, but you know what, last I checked, that’s 1 out of like 20 football weeks.  Unlike women who risk unprotected sex, I can be late with things.

Anyway, here’s my quick overview of the season’s news and some random predictions.

• Michael Vick is going to be a non factor.  Defenses have learned the Wildcat.  Trust me.   David Carradine’s auto-erotic asphyxiation attempts have been more successful than the Wildcat will be this year.
• Brett Favre will be a mediocre quarterback.  So mediocre in fact that he’ll be a non-story.  Yup, nothing to see here. 
• Jessica Simpson is going to resemble Delta Burke really soon.
• Seriously, I can’t fucking believe Favre did it again.  How the fuck can this shit happen?  Who’s responsible for this?  I want fucking answers that maybe Ja Rule can’t give me!!!!
• Jay Cutler is a whiny ass hole.  This is a fact.  However, would you rather play for a whiny, granola, Birkenstock wearing hippie fan base and a doucher head coach like McDaniels or would you rather play for a bunch of sausage eating, whiny, girdle wearing Midwestern fan base and the cooolest coach West of Mike Tomlin and East of Mike Singletary…fuck it, I got lost typing that argument. 
• Terrell Owens is in Buffalo.  How’d Drew Rosenhouse sell this to both sides? 
• Dallas is going to miss the playoffs. 
• Sinbad will make a comeback
• Aaron Rodgers will be the league MVP this year.  He will then engineer a trade to Minnesota.  He’ll do so as a giant fuck you to Green Bay fans who treated him like shit when he was drafted and the 2 years after that.  He will buy Steve McNair’s old house in Mississippi.  Brett Favre will shoot him in the chest four times and then himself in the head.  The story won’t be reported as much as you think it will. 
• Admit it, you forgot Steve McNair was murdered by a 22 year old girl, didn’t you?
• Chad Johnson (no, I’m not fucking calling him OchoCinco) will surpass Ashton Kutcher and Shaquille O’Neal as the most followed person on Twitter. 
• Carson Palmer will be arrested for murdering Chad Johnson.
• Al Davis will see a surge in popularity when it’s discovered he’s a real vampire and totally knows the Twilight guys!
• This list will sound more and more like it belongs on a Conan O’Brien “in the year 3000” sketch.
• NFC
  • Packers (Rodgers will be king this year)
  • Vikings (Peterson and the D, not the old man)
  • Eagles (McNabb has targets now)
  • Giants (Defense wins…even without Spags leading them)
  • 49ers (Pants-Off Dance-Off!)
  • Saints (Brees is that good this year)
• AFC
  • Patriots (Brady’s back, and he’s baby-daddier!)
  • Colts (Manning’s back, meh)
  • Texans (Yes, this is FINALLY the year)
  • Titans (That running attack and defense)
  • Chargers (Default division winner)
  • Steelers (Best in their division)
• Super Bowl
  • Patriots OVER Saints

Great, I’m old

Jordan’s in the Hall of Fame.  

Yes, I still wanna be like Mike…and my favorite pair of shoes I ever owned were the old gray, red and black Jordans from, I think, 1993.