My, this is some fantastic tasting sugar water

Damn it, wrong Texas Ranger

The Musers had Tom Hicks on the other day from Surprise to talk about how Rangers spring training is going, and, well, I fell for it again.

I've drank the kool-aid after a few days, I think the Rangers are going to put shit together this year. Yes, after swearing I'd never come back and I'd mock and ridicule this team starting now, I'm right back to where I am every year...a believer.

I believe that Mike Young is going to increase his range and become a fantastic 3rd baseman for this team.

I believe that Elvis Andrus is going to seriously contend for rookie of the year.

I think Teagarden is ready to step up and dominate the catcher's position this year and be the backstop and throw-out guy we need.

I think the outfield is familiar enough with themselves to be able to play the way they need to play to win.

I think Max Damage's bat is going to pop more this year than last.

I expect big things from Marlon Byrd and Chris Davis.

And the pitchers? You'd better believe that Mike Maddux is the best acquisition this team made all winter. Combining him, Nolan Ryan's mentality and all the young pitching talent this team has is going to be the push the Rangers need to get over the hump and get the god damned pitching monkey off this city's back.

Watch out Major League Baseball...the Texas Rangers are coming for their glass slipper.

I hate to admit it, but it's true

My reaction these days...

I can't watch college basketball anymore, and the weird part is, I really don't know why. I used to watch college basketball, pretty religiously in fact. I could name off RPI's and bubble teams and who I thought could legitimately contend in the tournment.

See, last weekend Big and I got into a debate with one of our friends over who was the class of the Big XII. Immediately our argument was that Kansas was the top of the pop, and everyone else was trying to live up to Kansas. The other guy's argument? Kansas was now sharing the upper echelon with Texas and Oklahoma. Let's recap: I was saying that Texas wasn't that good.

That's when it dawned on me. I haven't really paid much attention at all to college basketball to make that argument. Sure, I had history on my side for the basic concepts, but now a days, I could really care less.

Are the games any less compelling then they were before? I can't say for sure, but I doubt it.

Are the players and teams less sexy than before? Maybe. I mean, you hear about a real rock star player and you realize that if he's THAT good, then he's going to be a pro the next year anyway, so why bother? Anyone who's staying in school is bound to be the next Redick, Laettner or Dunleavy Jr. and just kind of "meh" you to death.

I tried to sit down the other day and just veg out and watch a Saturday's worth of college basketball. You know what I ended up doing instead? Cleaning my house. It's a pretty sad state of affairs when I'd rather Swiffer then watch basketball.

I could watch the Kings play the Thunder if it's on, but I have trouble paying attention to Pitt and Georgetown face off. What bothers me is, I couldn't tell you why.

Sometimes you've got to realize she ain't interested

Desperate much?

You know how when you go up to a girl at a bar and you might say hello or make some intial greeting and you get rebuffed?

Most of the time, you might walk away and find another target. However, other times you try a different route to break the ice and offer to buy her a drink. If she says yes, then you're in for a conversation, at the least, or maybe she wants a free drink, but at least she's given you a chance.

But if she says no to the drink, you pretty much get the point, right? RIGHT?

Nope, some guys don't get that point, they ask one more time, only this time they pretty much jump the point and offer her diamonds.

Does it really happen? No, but I'm pretty sure that's what the Dodgers have just done to Manny Ramirez, and HE STILL SAID NO!

There's no way Manny returns to LA, right? Boras has burned that bridge with Colletti for rejecting 3 ginormous offers.

What did he just turn down?

2 years, $45 Million, guaranteed.

TURNED IT THE FUCK DOWN! What the hell is going on here? What does Scott Boras know that no one else does? Does he have pictures of Frank McCourt fucking 12 year old Thai boys?

Either Scott Boras and Manny have balls the size of grapefruits and this game of chicken is going to net Manny the ability to buy Costa Rica for himself, or he's gonna wish he said yes to this deal.

I wonder how the rest of America feels with losing their jobs and seeing his son of a bitch turn down $45 Million to play baseball for a living and live in Los Angeles. Cry me a fucking river.

What's wrong with Wade's face?

Wade's Idol?

I must have missed the memo here, but when did Dwayne Dwyane Wade turn into Nelly? If you haven't been paying attention the past few weeks since All-Star Weekend, Dallas's favorite foul getting ass hat has been sporting a band-aid on his face to cover some stitches he got about 6 weeks ago.

Only problem is, it isn't the typical Johnson & Johnson band-aids, they've turned into a god damned fashion statement.

Things like his last name, the American flag, his nickname (Flash) have all shown up on Dwyane's face. The association has asked him to remove it because it's not part of the uniform and can be "gang affiliated" or some other thing that David Stern is doing to steer away from a "ghetto image".

These guys are multi-millionaires. I've seen Nip/Tuck. Don't tell me that shit can't be healed in less than 6 weeks.

I've gotten stitches before, and I'm not a fair skinned guy, they blend well. Stop your ass holery, and just play basketball.

NFL Free Agency already makes no sense

I'd make fun of him, but Cowboys fans aren't much better

So, NFL free agency started a day or so ago, and already there have been some things that have made me stop what I'm doing to blink a few times and wonder why people that aren't me get to be NFL general managers.

I think the case we're all looking at is the Cowboys's favorite rival in our nation's capitol, the Washington Redskins.

7 years, $100 Million for Albert Haynesworth
6 years, $54 Million for DeAngelo Hall
5 years, $26 Million for Derrick Dockery

Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato are the only two people on the planet that make Jerry Jones look like fucking Ron Wolf. Who are we kidding? Albert Haynesworth? This is Dana Stubblefield 2.0! DeAngelo Hall? The guy got kicked out of Oakland. OAKLAND! Derrick Dockery? I didn't like that guy when he was at Texas, and he underwhelemed a tortured fan base in Buffalo for a few years already.

Look, part of me is happy that Washington is going to be the paper champs again and die a slow slow death at the bottom of the division again, but you gotta be kidding me that people are going to keep putting up with Dan Snyder's dipshittery. Has he made a good acquisition in the past forever? I mean the best move this guy ever made? Sean Taylor, and he's dead.

If you ever scratch your head and wonder what the hell Jerry Jones is doing, never fear, Dan Snyder is always there to make you feel better.

He's baaa-aack

Scariest sight on the tour? Scariest sight on the tour.

Yes, I get it, we haven't been posting much as of late. Last I checked, we aren't getting paid to do this (unless you all start clicking on those ads like crazy), and we are getting paid to do our respective jobs. Also, Big gave up the internet for lent, so I pretty much get to run this joint for 6 weeks...

There's any number of things I could focus on for this post, and I really don't feel like doing the quick hit bit, as I tend to do that too much. So, let's talk about what everyone else is talking about today, the return of ETW.

That's right, folks, golf's messiah has returned. If you, for some retarded reason or another, didn't know, Tiger Woods has been out of commission for 9 months. He was playing on a torn ACL and had to get it repaired, so he decided to do that and make a baby.

Doesn't matter, he's back now, and I have a feeling that the following people are going to comprise the gallery at the Accenture today: any and every golfer in the club house, NBC executives, CBS executives, ESPN executives, Golf Channel executives, Nike executives, Gillette executives, and Pepsi executives (Gatorade). Oh yeah, maybe a few golf fans as well.

Personally, I can't be happier about this. I worship at the altar of Tiger because I'm not a hater like those who have to "live on the next best thing" edge are. (Sorry your band never made it, but that doesn't mean bands and artists that do make it automatically suck.) Tiger returning to the tour means more than just the best player coming back, it means golf coming back to the sports viewing forefront. It's a fact that no Tiger meant no viewers.

That doesn't even touch on what this means about Tiger. If stories were correct, Tiger had that knee issue for almost 10 years, and just played through it. Exactly, 10 years on a BAD knee and he did what he did. Now? He's at 100%, he's got two kids one to own the LPGA and one to take his spot in 20 years, and he's probably more focused than he's ever been to remind the world who Tiger Motherfucking Woods is.

I fully expect rookies to physically cry when they are paired with him on opening days. I expect other golfers who might have had bad blood to immediately try and make amends (Phil, Sergio, Rocco, Faldo). I also expect the Grand Slam to occur. I wouldn't be surprised to see a "Devil Went Down to Georgia" type challenge between Satan and Tiger for a solid gold putter.

Oh, in a lovely twist of Jesus, get this...Tiger's first day back? Beginning of Lent. The final day of the Masters? Easter Sunday. He's back and he's coming...is the world ready?

The Second Turnbuckle: El Blogador comes out of hiding

Inspired by the idea of finally getting to Wrestlemania and watching the Oscars I've decided to contribute to the blog. No big opening number, I won't sing or dance like Wolverine. I'm going to maintain the mystique behind El Blogador.

Firstly, Best Cameo by a Wrestler in a Filim.

Nominees are:

Bam Bam Bigelow-Major Payne
Kimberly Page-40 Year Old Virgin (Speed Dating wardrobe malfunction)
Big Show-Jingle All The Way
Great Khali-The Longest Yard

And the winner is....

Paul "The Big Show" Wight. He was the very large Santa when Arnold gets jumped by all the shady Santas. This was chosen over his role as Captain Insano in "The Waterboy" because that was a role as a wrestler.

Our second category is Best Performance by a Wrestler in a Supporting Role.

The nominees are:

Kevin Nash-The Longest Yard
Terry Funk- Roadhouse
Hulk Hogan-Rocky III
Andre the Giant-Princess Bride
Jesse "The Body" Ventura- Predator

And the Winner is....

Kevin Nash in the The Longest Yard. All of these performances have merit, but Nash's is by far the one that stood out the most and contributed the most. Andre is a very close second simply because of the greatness of the movie. Third was Hogan in Rocky III. Thunderlips was a major character and was done well, but it's Hogan playing a wrestler so not much of a stretch. Ventura and Funk round out the bottom. Ventura didn't play much of a role after he had a giant hole blown in him and Funk only got the nomination because it was Roadhouse. Side note: these two played roles in the very underated "The Ringer".

Best Wrestler in a Leading Role in a Movie that was in Theaters More than a Month or Did Not Go Straight to Video.

The nominees are:

Hulk Hogan- Suburban Commando
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin- The Condemned
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson- Gridiron Gang
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper- They Live
John Cena- The Marine

And the winner is.....

Dwayne Johnson in Gridiron Gang. In his first non-action leading role Johnson plays beyond expectations and shows he can do more than action. Yes, he was good in Walking Tall and Rundown, but this is his first true role where he lead and had to act. Second is Piper in They Live which is a cult classic. Suburban Commando was a good role for Hogan, but without the great Christopher Lloyd, Hogan struggles. Cena and Austin make valiant efforts, but have not quite matured into actors.

The next few categories are exclusive to these awards.

Best Actor in a Villian Role

Jesse "The Body" Ventura-The Running Man
Triple H-Blade:Trinity
Kevin Nash-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Secret of the Ooze
Kane-See No Evil

And the winner is....

Jesse Ventura in The Running Man. Captain Freedom was the best villian in this Arnold classic. He outshined the great actor Jim Brown as Fireball and Brown was in "I'm Gonna Get you Sucka" and "Mars Attacks" The rest didn't really act, Kane was just Kane in the real world if Kane was real (don't try to make sense of that). Triple H was a really big vampire. And Nash was just Super Shredder.

Best Wrestling movie that was not recognized by The Academy (So no "The Wrestler" or "Beyond the Mat"

The nominees are:

Ready to Rumble
No Holds Barred

and the winner is....

This award will have to be awarded another time.

They are both horrible movies. "Ready to Rumble" even won a Razzie. I guess when we revisit this subject we'll have to give it to "The Wrestler".

GMV - Nude music friday

There are a lot of Kanye haters out there. People who don't like his message, his over use of auto correct, or just his straight up smug attitude. But to me, there is nobody like him in the game right now. Here is his new video "Welcome to heartbreak."


KANYE WEST "Welcome To Heartbreak" Directed by Nabil from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

Tell me somebody else is making a video this good that is equal parts innovative, edgy, or just plain going with the song better than that. I still love music videos, i watch them often after nights at the bar at 3 in the morning when the music channels really play music.

Big ups to UVE and his blog for having the video that I could embed.

No Celebrations At All (NCAA) Football

Just saw this story on The Big Lead.

The NCAA is pondering a dramatic rule change - one that wouldn’t take place until 2011 - wherein anyone who showboats in or around the end zone would have their score wiped out.

Are you fucking kidding me?

This is the stupidest god damned thing I have ever heard since, um, ever.

Exactly who does this rule benefit? Mike Belotti and the Oregon Ducks, apparently.

"College football is a team game and prolonged acts that draw attention to the individual are not consistent with that philosophy," said Bellotti, the Oregon head coach. "The rules committee reminds head coaches of their responsibility for the behavior of their players before and after, as well as during, the game ... Repeated occurrence of such unsportsmanlike behavior by a team may result in punitive action by the conference."

"We feel that there may need to be more ejections," Bellotti said during a conference call.

Oh, it's a good thing that the Oregon team in 2007 was able to stand strong as a team when Dennis Dixon went down with a torn ACL.

Chalk one more up for the pussy-fication of America.

Next story please

Okay, Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids in 2003. I remember hearing the news come down last Saturday and being very surprised. I might even say that I was a little angry because I thought there was a chance that, as much of a douche as he is, he was going to "lead" baseball out of the steroid era into a cleaner era and wipe any "dirty" records off the books.

You know how long that lasted? Between 30 and 45 minutes, and then I saw cow in a pasture and immediately forgot everything I was thinking.

And that's what it's come to, we don't care anymore.

Sure, the media would like us to hoot and holler as much as they do, and want us to burn Rodriguez in effigy, but why? This isn't our first dance with steroids in baseball. We already had our shock and outrage 5 years ago.

Look, I'm not saying I'm happy with it, but I don't care anymore. It's like the scene in "Starship Troopers". Whatever version of football that they were playing was the new breed of football. Everyone was used to it, and that's it. Performance enhanced players? They've become the new breed of baseball, and we're just used to it. Good metaphor? Hell no. Did it make my point? Hell yes.

What's worse is, the sports media has turned into a bunch of women. No, I don't mean they're all female, I mean that they say one thing, get it, and then ask for the complete opposite. Let me essplain, when Clemens and Bonds came under fire, everyone screamed "just admit it, and we'll forgive you and move on". Rodriguez admits what he did, and now everyone screams "boy that was a stupid explanation, he shouldn't have said anything". What the hell do you people want? (read that in your best Norm voice)

I'm much more interested in someone scoring an interview with Iverson and asking why he chopped his hair off as opposed to someone working to track down a person with the last name "Rodriguez" in the Dominican Republic.

Just once, please, let me walk into baseball season with a positive outlook on the game. Is it too much to ask?

GMV

Holycrap, if you don't have HBO or you have it and your not watching East Bound and Down, you need to rectify that pronto. Here is a taste.



Bonus: IF i had a mullet, and IF i dressed like a baseball player, I would probably look like Kenny Powers.



yup thats me.

...

Looking to break up with your girlfriend?

Just get her this tomorrow

Mike Sciroy, you are a genius!

Had The Ticket on while working and Rhadigan and Bascik are filling in for Norm. They were talking about the NBA All-Star game and how the best part of the weekend is the skills contests on Saturday. Then ticker guy, Mike Sciroy (I'm guessing that's how you spell it), chimed in with the most genius idea ever.

Instead of aligning the teams by Eastern and Western conferences, you take it to the street.

-Let people vote players into an All-Star pool like they do now.
-Top two vote getters (Kobe and LeBron) would be the team captains
-After the Saturday night dunk contest, the two captain pick teams like street ball
-THEN you play the game on Sunday with the teams.

Tell me that wouldn't be genius.

So, pretend Big is LeBron and I'm Kobe, and use the comments to make our picks for us.

GMV - Funny Friday

Internet gate is at almost 2 weeks. But i swear the GMV will be back as soon as I am. But fear not, i'm going to bring Funny Fridays to all you sexy readers.

This week its the greatnes that is the Flight of the Concords. Before the show they were just an extreamly talented comedy act. You may have heard some of these songs before. Here are my favs.

Catching up on the NBA

So, admittedly, we haven't been paying much attention to any sports that aren't football, but that's beacuse that's the sport that's been on the forefront of things. It's not to say that we don't watch other sports, just haven't had the itch to write about them.

But...in an effort to bring you up to speed on the NBA, here's a small blurb on all the teams going into the back half of the season.

Eastern Conference

Atlantic Divison

Boston (42-11)
The defending champs are continuing their stranglehold on the East. They've spent the entire season trading blows with the Lakers for the best record and title of "strongest team" going into the playoffs. They've stayed healthy behind the Big 3, and as long as that's the case, they're not going to face a test until Cleveland in the East Finals.

Philadelphia (26-24)
Philly had something going for them with the core built around Iggy and Brand. However, Elton Brand is gone for the season and they've played the last 25 or so games without him, Philly has learned what they need to do over the last 30 or so games to get to the post season.

New Jersey (24-28)
The Nets have rallied behind the young point guard, a guy you might remember, Devin Harris. With VC's elbow keeping him off the court, it's been the Devin Harris show. New Jersey is one of those teams that feels they could be there with a few moves, so what for deadline activity.

New York (21-29)
I didn't think New York was going to win 20 games this season, but he, the coach of the three first names, has coached this team into something else. That being said, they've just gotten Kobe'd, LeBron'd and Celtic'd on consecutive nights, so this team is about as deflated as it's going to be.

Toronto (19-34)
Chris Bosh wants out. Don't believe him when he says otherwise. This team is terrible, and he's been hurt so they've been that much worse without him.

Central Division

Cleveland (39-10)
If you've got LeBron, you've got a chance. Period. The addition of Mo Williams this year has been a godsend as James has a second option and a feeder built into one. The loss of Pavlovic for 6 weeks has them in the market for a replacement 2 guard. Watch for small movement.

Detroit (27-22)
It's a little odd to see the Pistons play the way they've played this year. We knew they were getting older, and Dumars move to break up the band and bring in AI hasn't really paid off the way he wanted it to. I think this team is shocked they're not longer the toast of the East, and they'll be blown up big time.

Milwaukee (25-29)
Let's see. Michael Redd? Out for season. Andrew Bogut? Out for season. Luke Ridnour? Out for season. Tyronne Lue? Traded to Orlando. The cupboard is empty in the land of dairy.

Chicago (22-29)
Everyone agrees that Vinny Del Negro is over his head, but I think he's actually starting to assume some control over this team. Derrick Rose has made his case for ROY and the core of Deng and Gordon has been solid at best. A LOT of talk is going around Chicago of bringing in Amare to the fold. Interesting.

Indiana (20-32)
Another team hampered by injuries. Granger and Dunleavy are both hurt...unfortunately that's the core of the team. You're basically asking Queezy and Troy Murphy to take up slack. Ouch. Then again, Granger vows he'll play even if he has to limp everywhere, so, you know, the've got that going for them.

Southeast Division

Orlando (38-12)
I liked Orlando's chances this year, right up until All-Star PG, Jameer Nelson went down for the rest of the season with a bad shoulder. He's about as irreplaceable as it gets for them, so it'll be interesting to see what they do at the deadline. Superman in the middle gives them a fighting chance.

Atlanta (29-21)
That's one more team who's been bitten by injuries, but have managed to win enough early in the season to sustain them through the winter. Once Joe Johnson and Mike Bibby return, then this team can come back to form for the stretch to run at the 8.

Miami (27-23)
A team that is poised to make some moves at the deadline. D-Wade has done it all, but he's not the transcendant player that other one man shows are (unless the refs help him out, see 2006 NBA Finals).

Charlotte (20-31)
MJ has to be a scratch golfer because he sure as hell ain't paying any attention to his team. They just moved Adam Morrison to the Lakers for nothing. A core of Phoenix cast offs aren't going to do much for you, nor is the Wallace and Radmanovic connection.

Washington (11-40)
Here's what you need to know about the Wizards this year. Arenas has yet to play since last year, and they've matched their loss total from last year before the All-Star Break. Yeah.

Western Conference

Northwest Division

Denver (34-17)
The Nuggnuts have made a point this year to pretty much destroy any team at or below 500 for the season. That might explain the pretty record they're sitting at right now. That or this season's power couple of Melo and Chauncey.

Portland (31-19)
Ahh yes, my favorite young team in the NBA. Portland is finally trying to live up to the potential they've got, and they're still building. Oden, Roy and Aldridge have been defending the castle to perfection, and probably giving Seattle fans something to hold on to from a basketball perspective. If Oden stays consistent, the Blazers will streak into the playoffs and be "that team"

Utah (29-23)
I'm not sure if you've sensed a theme or not, but injuries have played a part in demoralizing teams this season. Boozer, Kirilenko and Williams have all been hurt for periods of time this season...most of them at the same time. Deron Williams, however, as managed to come back and hold the team together to poise them for something when the other two return.

Minnesota (17-33)
Maybe Kevin McHale can finally be fired. This team's last gasp hope died when Al Jefferson went down for the rest of the year with a torn ACL.

Kevin Durants (13-38)
I'll say this much. If Sam Presti is as smart as Spurs fans say he is, he'll make up an injury for Durant and force these guys to tank the way to the lottery pick to get hometown stud, Blake Griffin.

Pacific Division

LA - Lakers (41-9)
This team is better than last year's team...and yeah, Bynum's out for the rest of the season again (probably). Pau Gasol has gotten used to the team. Lamar Odom has grown comfortable in the 6th spot and Trevor Ariza is playing above his head. If Morrison can find a groove off the bench. Oof.

Phoenix (28-22)
They're in full scale blow up mode. Everyone and anyone is on the table, including Terry Porter. Good bye, everybody. It's time to go. Does Nash go to New York? Does Amare go to Chicago? Does Shaq Twitter himself into insanity?

Golden State (17-35)
Yeah, Baron Davis was that important to Nelly's system. You compound that with injuries (again!) and the new loss of Biedrins...well, the lottery isn't that bad if you have a pick, right?

LA - Clippers (12-40)
Really, is anyone suprised by this team's suck-itude anymore? Baron Davis wasn't the answer, and neither is Coach Dunleavy.

Sacramento (11-41)
The town of the cow bell is quiet. Webber had his jersey retired and Divac's is going to have his retired next month. The Sad Sac Kings moniker has never fit so well.

Southwest Division

San Antonio (34-15)
Is anyone going to argue that Gregg Popovich is the best coach in the league? Seriously. You can argue he's got talent, but he knows what to do with them. If they're hurt, he knows how to survive. Long game stretch? Sit 'em for gmes that don't matter and conserve gas. The loss of Sam Presti didn't hurt him, so it's obviously Pop's genius, right? Fuck Tim Duncan with a ping pong paddle.

New Orleans (30-19)
Last year's darlings haven't been so darling this year, but that doesn't mean they're in trouble. David West and chris Paul (hurt right now) are still the leaders of this team and they can turn it on when they need to. The key thing is, they're not "new and sexy" anymore.

Dallas (30-20)
You know, I like Rick Carlisle and what he's doing. I think the beginning of the year he was still feeling out his players and figuring out who fit in what roles the best way. Now he's got his players playing the way they should be playing. He turned over the play calling to Kidd, and we've seen him revitalize himself. Dirk is Dirk and Howard is returning the form. Carlisle has cut Terry lose to become the premiere shooter on the team, a role they oh so desperately need. Probem is, Terry broke his hand and is out for a minimum of 6 weeks (unless he pulls a Carmelo Anthony and returns in 3). Look for the Mavs to deal for a shooter before the deadline.

Houston (31-21)
Here's a fun fact. Everyone else has been hit really hard by the injury bug. Houston is normally always injured. Houston happens to be quite healthy (for them) these days. So, what's the issue? Yao doesn't like T-Mac. Rafer Alston doesn't like anyone. The Scola-Landry connection isn't as productive as it has been. Oh, and that Ron Artest thing? Hasn't worked they way they'd hoped it would.

Memphis (15-36)
The lowly Grizz. You've fired your coach. You've lost 12 straight under two replacement coaches. What's left? Nothing. Just turn it in and make sure you turn off the lights in the arena...least you can do is be green.

So that's it. Hope that provides an ample enough update on what's happening in the Association for you this season.

That's one more night I'll be watching wrasslin'

Me, Big, Bear and El Blogador have been debating when, where and how he was coming back, but none of us had this one pegged.

Big thinks this makes sense to bring more light to ECW...I disagree and say this is Vince punishing Christian for leaving the WWE and is now wasting talent.

We'll see

H/T: The Pro Wrestling Blog

Mexico Vs the US, its time

So we asked friends to write post for us over the past couple of days, and they have done a fantastic job, and because I STILL DON'T HAVE INTERNET AT WORK, and Brown has been rocking the work bit, we got another one for ya. Its from the britt again. And it about those crazy mexicans. And soccer of course!

Do me a favor, even if you're not a soccer fan, just indulge me and think of the act as sign of your patriotism. I want you to go buy a taco from one of those roach coaches you see on the side of the road, and in plain sight of the owner/operator; I want you to stomp the taco into the ground and walk away.
Oh sure, I know you'll do it just for kicks, but some of you may ask; why?

Because it's USA versus Mexico. That's why.

This is a rivalry so huge to our southern neighbors they have been going bananas for a week. There was a report of the electronics chain Radio Shack denying involvement in an advertising campaign put forth in their Mexican stores. (They have el Radio Shacks? wow) Seems the head honcho south of the border thought it would be cute to sell small voodoo dolls in the likeness of American soccer players. He was planning on releasing a short line with about four different types to encourage the whole country to rally to the rivalry. It's mean spirited, yes, but think about it; if we would have done that in the states there only would have been one type of doll. Dark hair, mustache, sombrero, etc...

Mexico has called us their eternal rivals, have the majority of wins in all time matchups and certainly have a richer history with the game. BUT (notice the big but), this year should be different. Mexico has not beaten the US on american soil in about ten years, add that to the fact the game will be held in Colombus Ohio where it is waaaay too cold for mexicans. In the past US players have recieved hate from the pro-mexican crowd even when we host the match. Mexico is in a poor run of form against all opponents having only won 1 match in the past six. Their coach Sven-Goran Eriksson (whaddya mean he's not mexican?) has been under constant fire from the mexican media over his squad selection and of course lack of results. There have been some grumblings that he could lose his job and be shuffled off to the premier league to head a club there, again. It's no secret that head coaches disappear like cotton candy, look for him to exit if Mexico submarines in the match.

OK, enough hate time to show a little love. This is our year to get deep into the World Cup Tournament and put an even better face on american soccer. For the upcoming match we have a strong mix of returning players and new blood. Players traveling from abroad are seeing playing time for their respective clubs and should be in good fitness. Donovan (Bayern Munich), Clint Dempsey (Fulham) and Tim Howard (Everton) have all been exceptional, look to these veterans to put in an inspiring performance. Relative newcomers with something to prove include Sacha Kjlestan (Chivas USA), Jose Francisco Torres (Pachuca) and Jozy Altidore (Xerez CD). You may have already heard of Altidore, at just 19 years old he plays with the compsure of someone much older and wiser, he may very well develop into our best scoring threat. Watch out for these wildcards to either make or break the american effort; Demarcus Beasley (Glasgow Rangers), Oguchi Onyewu (Standard Liege) and Marvell Wynne (Toronto FC, MLS). Beasley is still one of my favorite US players, but he has been disappointing and inconsistent in his last games for the red, white & blue. The latter two in the list are straight up loose cannons. We are talking about the biggest scariest, angry black men who play soccer. These guys are out to bust heads. I have seen Onyewu, or "Gooch" as he's known to his teammates, make the most vicious tackles and never fails to stick an elbow in. Likewise Marvell Wynne has thrown punches at his opponents and I have seen his temper get him ejected from an MLS match. In short, these are the guys we need for a match like USA vs Mexico, because it's gonna get rough, but they are in no way good ambassadors of the game for our country. All in all we have a very strong squad and with more and more youngsters getting some men's national team playing time we look to add depth to our squad going forward towards the 2010 world cup in south africa.

How about that for some light reading? Well, you can go back to work now. Just do that taco thing we talked about. Hey even better, grab a beer, throw on something patriotic and tune in to ESPN2 at 6pm CT. Support your country dammit.

p.s. you can get your sweet rivalry hat here.

We Asked and You Answered

We told you we were busy. We asked you to write stuff for us. The Bear has responded, and now so has the Brit.

Greetings, Your Highness Sir Arthur Chillumsworth III Esq. here. I come to you today on a matter of grave international importance; storied nations will clash in the sport of football today and tomorrow and for fans like me I get a real boner about it. For you casual soccer fans out there this might be a reason to flip on the telly or set your digital recorder doo-hickey for Fox Soccer Channel at 1:30p CT. Brazil is playing Italy.

Really?! I have to say more? Well, let's see Brazil is the only team to have played in every one of the past 18 World Cup tournaments. They mean business, even though this is just a qualifier they always want to win. Every stage of this tournament is vital the players and coaches, their professional careers depend upon international success. Both Italy and Brazil have won the cup many times, four and five times respectively, the nations know what it takes to win. The record between these teams in competition stands dead even; in 12 meetings each has won five and drawn twice. The stage is set for some memorable football. Both Italy and Brazil are fielding younger players who are eager to prove themselves, although the media is always wary of new players because they are unproven I believe we are in for a scintilating match.

Tomorrow is huge day for WCQ, Argentina v France, England v Spain and of course USA v Mexico. Check back later in the day today and again tomorrow for more insight into those matches.

UPDATED CORRECTION: The Brazil/Italy match is a friendly, not a qualifier. How stupid of me! Brazil in CONCACAF an Italy is UEFA.

A Note from the Bear's Cave

Big and I are busy at our respective jobs. Bear wrote something. He emailed it. I posted it. Its not rocket science. Come on, sexy readers, pick up our slack.

A-Rod/ A-Fraud
First off, I really dislike this guy. I was a huge fan of his when he came here. I hated his contract but I was happy to see him in a Rangers uniform. But the way he handled himself upon departing the Rangers it was just classless and since I have felt bittersweet victory every time he flops in the playoffs. But are we really surprised that he was busted for Steroids when he was with the Rangers? In fact, it's more, and more sounding like most of the Rangers big hitters back in the late 90's to early 2000's had their own version of the Cowboys White House, where instead of the nose candy they sat around sticking needles in each others arse's.
The Supporters Defense; But he hasn't changed size since then unlike barry and he's at the peak of his career! You know what I say? Shut up you scrawny little pee-on! You've never been in a gym in the last decade so why should I listen to you speak about steriods? Seriously though, steriods dont affect everyone the same way. Depending on how often you cycle (for you scrawny ones out there when you cycle it's when your on the juice), what you do with it while your cycling, and how far apart your cycles are you could have minimal changes to your body mass.

Jason Terry out several weeks
Well... this team has been dragging through the regular season and lately has shown that they still struggle with closing games out. I've had conversations with both Big and Brown and we all are on board with moving Terry, only problem is he's been the most consistent player on the team. Kidd has flashes where he doesn't show his age. J-Ho probably smoked so much weed during the offseason he is still high and having trouble learning Carlisle's system. "That's crazy man, you can't control what the ball do... that's crazy!" So who's going to fill in? Stackhouse? Guess we'll see what kind of basketball shape he's in. I think it's going to come from a mixture of Kidd, The mexican jumping bean JJ Barea and Antoine Wright. If this team keeps this play up it's going to be an ugly playoff push. We're just lucky the rest of the division is a little down this year and not putting up Lakers numbers.

Tony Romo finally speaks!
You can't see this but I'm twirling my finger right now because I really dont care. He didn't say much, just put on his best Favre "Aw Schucks" Face and said that players at this level dont need to be motivated. BS! Your motivations have changed... instead of being motivated to play well to get to the pro's you're motivated to make the most money you can. Show me the player that will upfront offer to lower his contract to afford better players and I'll show you a player that see's his career nearing an end and he still has no championship.

Sean Avery cleared waivers!
Stars are trying to move him, and the Stars fearless couch captian says he'd give Avery a second chance. Does anyone care anymore? I'm with Brown that his comments weren't that bad to begin with, and quite comical for any guy that isn't gay.

The Pro Bowl was yesterday?
Really? I didnt even watch it! Does anyone outside of Hawaii even care? Does moving it to Miami mean more people will watch it? No!