He's baaa-aack

Scariest sight on the tour? Scariest sight on the tour.

Yes, I get it, we haven't been posting much as of late. Last I checked, we aren't getting paid to do this (unless you all start clicking on those ads like crazy), and we are getting paid to do our respective jobs. Also, Big gave up the internet for lent, so I pretty much get to run this joint for 6 weeks...

There's any number of things I could focus on for this post, and I really don't feel like doing the quick hit bit, as I tend to do that too much. So, let's talk about what everyone else is talking about today, the return of ETW.

That's right, folks, golf's messiah has returned. If you, for some retarded reason or another, didn't know, Tiger Woods has been out of commission for 9 months. He was playing on a torn ACL and had to get it repaired, so he decided to do that and make a baby.

Doesn't matter, he's back now, and I have a feeling that the following people are going to comprise the gallery at the Accenture today: any and every golfer in the club house, NBC executives, CBS executives, ESPN executives, Golf Channel executives, Nike executives, Gillette executives, and Pepsi executives (Gatorade). Oh yeah, maybe a few golf fans as well.

Personally, I can't be happier about this. I worship at the altar of Tiger because I'm not a hater like those who have to "live on the next best thing" edge are. (Sorry your band never made it, but that doesn't mean bands and artists that do make it automatically suck.) Tiger returning to the tour means more than just the best player coming back, it means golf coming back to the sports viewing forefront. It's a fact that no Tiger meant no viewers.

That doesn't even touch on what this means about Tiger. If stories were correct, Tiger had that knee issue for almost 10 years, and just played through it. Exactly, 10 years on a BAD knee and he did what he did. Now? He's at 100%, he's got two kids one to own the LPGA and one to take his spot in 20 years, and he's probably more focused than he's ever been to remind the world who Tiger Motherfucking Woods is.

I fully expect rookies to physically cry when they are paired with him on opening days. I expect other golfers who might have had bad blood to immediately try and make amends (Phil, Sergio, Rocco, Faldo). I also expect the Grand Slam to occur. I wouldn't be surprised to see a "Devil Went Down to Georgia" type challenge between Satan and Tiger for a solid gold putter.

Oh, in a lovely twist of Jesus, get this...Tiger's first day back? Beginning of Lent. The final day of the Masters? Easter Sunday. He's back and he's coming...is the world ready?

I hope you enjoyed that US Open

What a fantastic golf weekend right? We had Tiger coming back and forcing an 18 hole playoff with a guy named Rocko.

That sentence right there is good enough for me to watch just about any Golf Tourney, add the fact that it was the US Open, and you've just doubled my intrigue.

THEN add the fact that Tiger is coming off knee surgery and hasn't walked 18 in over 2 months, now I'm titillated more than a Chinese girl who just found a mini-house for her mini-poodle.

Not only does that sound great, but unlike the Laker-Celtics finials, it truly was great.

I hope you enjoyed it, because Tiger is now done for the rest of the year.

This from the Golf Channel

"He experienced a small stress fracture in his left leg about two weeks before the U.S. Open, which was causing him the pain, and ultimately the doctors feel that he needs ACL surgery and rest to get him back to 100%. Sources added that Tiger is in great spirits and wants to ensure that he comes back even better at the start of the 2009 season. Although his playing schedule is going to put on hold, he will continue to make numerous appearances and fulfill his sponsor and charitable commitments over the next five to six months."

That sucks. So this will be surgery number 4 or 5 on that same knee. How sorry would it be if that is how Tiger went out. A knee injury during the prime of his career.

HT: Fanhouse

What's the big deal about this?

If you've read anything in the past week or so, you've seen the story about Tiger Woods being the most fined player on the PGA tour because of the amount he goes nuts and starts cussing people out on the course. Namely, this was started because at Doral two weeks ago, a photographer snapped a picture during his backswing and he, apparently, went off on that photographer.

Here's the video, courtesy of FanHouse

So, let's get this straight. All he said was "not in my swing" and that causes an uproar? Look, I don't apologize for golfers requiring total silence when they play. As a shitty golfer myself, I look for any excuse I can for making terrible shots.

As for the uproar on cussing. I'd like to know how many of those people have NEVER said a bad word. Especially on a golf course after a bad shot.

Hmm, I'm standing in a glass house and I've got all these stones. Time for my John Elway impression!