This makes sense to everyone, so of course the MLB said no

Marky Mark and the Cuban Bunch

Granted, this comes from the rumors section of SI.com, but Bud Selig and the baseball owners association is going to do everything it possibly can to make sure that Mark Cuban will never own the Chicago Cubs.

If you haven't followed the story, Sam Zell of the Tribune company wants to sell the Cubs, and he's got a list of bidders. One of those bidders was our own shark toothed wunderkind, Mark Cuban. His bid? $1.2 billion, yes with a "b". However, things keep stalling out because Zell has to get full approval from the baseball owners association and, utlimately, Bud Selig.

The baseball owners association needs a Mark Cuban to shake things up. Forgive me if Steinbrenner, Hicks, Angelos, Reinsdorf, and Loria don't really do much to fire up a fan base. I don't see those guys having a beer with fans and sitting behind (or in) the dug out to yell and rant and rave with fans.

I know I've said before that Cuban buying the Cubs will take his focus away from the Mavericks, but at this point, I think Cuban buying the Cubs could save baseball. Re-invigorate a major fan base. Be in the news on a daily basis. Openly chastise the owners and Bud Selig for the same shit that fans have been doing for years now. Ultimately, by having a guy like Cuban bust up the cronyism and old boys network of the owners association would be just the spark baseball needs to re-establish itself as a top sport.

I'd really just like to see Mark Cuban and Tom Hicks sitting together at the AA Center and Cuban taking Hicks to task about something baseball related. And then they'd get in a money fight and throw bricks of $100 bills at each other. And the Mavs dancers would be naked. That'd be awesome.

In apology...

Me too, sweety. Me too.

So, sorry for my little rant yesterday. Apparently me going serious shouldn't be happening, and I agree 100%.

As an apology, I'd like to offer a story for you, and hope you learn a little something from it.

I've been on a "kind of" diet recently to make sure that I don't steal the moniker from my portly blogger pal. I say "kind of" because I manage to find myself in a situation every weekend where I'm surrounded my people who just want to party with me. (You can read that as I found a new bottle of Knob Creek in the pantry and decided to order the 6 hour block of porn channels on DirecTV.)

Anyway, one of the dietary substitutions I made was, instead of rocking chips and salsa, one of the building blocks of the food pyramid, I switched to pita chips and hummus. I wish I could explain my reasoning here, but I can't. So, without really paying attention one night, I managed to eat an entire container of roasted red pepper hummus.

Seems appetizing, no?

I know, you think you know where this is going. You're close.

The gaseous emissions that result from your stomach digesting an entire container of that stuff might be qualified as "holocaust level gasses". I share an office with two other people, and they had to leave for the rest of the day. They're guys so they found it hilarious, as did I.

The problem was, this never went away. A full 12 hours later I had to pick up the folks from the airport, and my mother had to roll down the window and yelled at me while my father laughed.

I know what you're thinking, "why didn't you just go to the restroom and release?"

Well, first of all, what a gay way to ask me to take a shit. Second, I did, and that's the lesson for you. Don't eat an entire container of hummus unless you want to reek vengeance upon everyone in a 10 foot radius.

Oh, and to make this sportsy?

"John Williams is the man"

Because we are dorks here at the big and the brown. Funny stuff.



Big ups to uni, he found this peice of gold

Terrible Correlations and Restricted Satire

The Big and The Brown: Old West Style

Great, at least 4 more years of this

Personally, regardless of political leanings, the fact that African American has been voted the President of the USA truly is an historical and amazing event. I think it speaks volumes towards the direction that this country is headed. I'll put aside some of the most racist shit I heard or read via text message on Tuesday night because the majority spoke and that's the case.

In my only political statement I'll make in my life, let me say this. Regardless of your political leanings or beliefs, this guy is our President. For those who supported him, you got what you wanted, now let's see the man follow up on those promises. For those who were against him, you spent your entire time trumpeting your love for this country. Now that country has a leader and if you love it, you'll support him and follow him as he leads. People don't have to live in extremes, less we end up in an awesome South Park parody.

However, there are two things that are going to happen now that are going to drive me crazier than Lawrence Taylor.

1) Leap of Faith Correlations

I'm looking in your direction, ESPN. Exactly how are you going to draw the conclusion and reference point that because America voted in a black president, more colleges need to hire black head coaches? I must have missed something. I understand putting rules in place like the Rooney Rule and the Eddie Robinson rule. That makes perfect sense to me. But, come on, let's not be so stupid as to say that because the election of Barack Obama, Oklahoma is going to fire Bob Stoops and hire Tyone Willingham. Wait...that should actually happen, but I digress.

By the way, my favorite line in that whole piece was this, "Staffers for Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez told surveyors he is not Hispanic." I doubt Hispanics would like to claim him as their own.

2) Jesse and Al teaming up like Ace and Gary

Politics is followed by satire like peanut butter and jelly. Period. It doesn't have to be hate filled like Democrats have been the past 8 years, and it doesn't have to be extremist and confusing like Republicans the 8 years before that. Comedy and satire are natural lenses that we can few society and leaders of society. As the soon to be most powerful person in the country not blogging under the pseudonym, Brown, Obama is going to be satirized and made fun of. Unless you're some of the readers and commenters on this blog who tend to say some pretty questionable shit sometimes, THE HUMOR IS NOT RACIST. Got it Jesse? Got it Al? Just because someone makes fun of or mocks Barack Obama, it's not a slight on the black man.

What's the over/under before Jesse, Al, Whitlock or Ricky Smiley scream "racism" after the first set of jokes are made at Obama's expense? I'll set the line at 5 minutes.

Anyways, to think that the election of a black man as President is going to change the sports landscape is a pretty stupid thought to have. He's not the commissioner of any of the leagues, and, trust me, there's a shit ton of other things him and his staff need to worry about first. If he's mocked or scrutinized because he's more worried about throwing the first pitch out at the White Sox opener or because he put a basketball court in the White House in lieu of a bowling alley, it's not being racist (hopefully), it's being funny (also, hopefully).

Now, because this was a semi-serious post, I'd like to close with the following....

Sure, we've got a new president, but what about my teams!

I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing or saying right now. I've been in a haze since Saturday night when Michael Crabtree went Tyrone Prothro before he mangled his leg, Larry Fitzgerald and Calvin Johnson all wrapped into one college receiver.

The Mavericks have started the season with a full blown "meh" feeling.

The Cowboys...well, this sums it up

The Stars, well, at a distance I think they've also got this "meh" thing going but I think I remember hearing something to the effect of them having the highest goals against average in the league.

The Rangers just signed Mike Maddux, brother of Greg, to be the new pitching coach. Maddux is, for all intents and purposes, "the best pitching coach in the league", so the Rangers wallet whipped him to come here. Welcome to hell, Mike. Maybe you and Orel will be doing some broadcast work together when you inveitable lose faith in baseball and quit for good.

I'm not trying to be bleak here, but I'm starting to worry about the overall health of my fandom.

I need something, anything to bring me out of my sports lurch...

College Football Roundup - Week 10 - Welcome to November

This could get interesting.......

Welcome to November.

Last year we saw a slew of team grab the number one spot for a week or so till they were upset by someone, opening the door to a new number one. This year may not be that much different. Is it a good thing? That depends on who you are.

With the emergence of the spread offense, easier recruiting, and cutting down of roster size, the college football landscape has become more wide open, and harder for the great teams to dominate and sustain a full season of bad assness. I'm not going to use the parody word, but the idea that a recruit can go to a school like Texas Tech, start from day one, be in a high powered offense, and still have TV exposer have made the have not, into kinda haves.

Teams that are Bowl Elliglble: Maryland Georgia Tech Miami (FL) North Carolina Missouri Kansas Texas Tech Oklahoma State Oklahoma Texas West Virginia Pittsburgh Cincinnati Connecticut Penn State Michigan State Ohio State Northwestern Minnesota Navy Tulsa Rice TCU Utah Brigham Young Air Force Central Michigan Ball State Western Michigan USC California Oregon Florida Georgia South Carolina Kentucky Alabama LSU Boise State San Jose State

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Bowl Eligible Break Downs:

SEC - 6

B12 - 6

Big East -5

Big 10 - 5
ACC - 4
Mountain West - 4
Mid American - 3

Pac 10 - 3
CUSA - 2
WAC - 2

Sun Belt - 0

Let's get to the top ten.

Main Eventers.

No. 2 Alabama (win 35-0, Arkansas State) - Took care of business. Held the red wolves to 158 total yards. Because of Tech's looming slate of games, and Penn State's bye week, they are the default number one right now. Two things of note for Bama, if they make it, they will more than likely play Florida in the SEC champ game now, that should scare Bama peeps, but before they can get there, they have to go to Baton Rouge this weekend and play a good, but not great LSU team. God I love November football!

No. 7 Texas Tech (win 39-33, No. 1 Texas) - What can be said about this game that hasn't been talked about already? Tech scored an early safety, which set the tone that the Red Raiders were here to play on both sides of the ball. If Crabtree's 10 rec for 127 and that last second touch doesn't have him at the top of Heisman lists at least this week, then the people who make the lists are slighting him because he plays for Tech. If he was a Sooner, Volunteer, or even Nitney Lion, everyone would be down on their knees right now.

No. 3 Penn State (idle) - How nervous are you if you are a State fan? You have only three games left, you will be favored in all of them, only one on the road, and for several reason's, people are going to try and say you don't belong in the BCS champ game? I'm not rooting for Penn State to run the table, if for nothing else we can hear JoPa talk about getting screwed out a chance to play for a national title. "I'm never leaving" Good times. They travel to Iowa this weekend.

No. 8 Florida (win 49-10, No. 6 Georgia) - Say goodbye to the Dawgs, and hello to the "lets all hope and pray Florida and Bama don't get upset over the next month so we can see one hell of an SEC Championship game" thought. Only 14-3 at half, and I thought the Dawgs were going to make a game out of this. Boy was I wrong

You won't beat Florida, or just about any team, when you turn the ball over 4 times. 3 picks from Dallas' own Matt Staford, who has done very little to empress me as a first round QB talent. You couple that with Timmy Tebow being responsible for 5 TD's and its church. Florida travels to Vandy this weekend, not an easy game this year, and Florida State at the end of the season.

No. 4 Oklahoma (win 62-28, Nebraska) - Umm, 35 points in the first quarter? From just one team? Wow, i guess Stoops was right when he said "Our defense isn't bad, its just that our offense is so good we put them on the Field alot." They Caused 4 turnovers and had over 500 total yards offense. Boomer Sooner indeed.

Mid Card Guys

No. 5 USC (win 56-0, Washington) - Holy crap what a beat down. We all know the Media loves them some USC, and has been force feeding us them for the past 5 or 6 years, but in all honesty, I don't think there is a better defense in all of college football then the Men of Troy. Albeit Washington is terrible, but when you hold a BCS conference team to 184 total, 113 passing, 71 rushing, and force 4 turnovers, your pretty damn good.

Here's an idea that nobody has ever had, ever, Lets let the Pac-10 Champ and Big 10- Champ play each other for the right to play the Big-12 vs. SEC Champ games! I'm kidding, that's way to much like a playoff system, and I'm against that. But it would be fun to see USC and Penn State play each other for the right to play for a national championship.

No. 1 Texas (loss 33-39 No. 7 Texas Tech) - Is the season over for Texas? Not in the least. They only have one conference loss and own the tie breaker to both Oklahoma and Oklahoma State. If they can go undefeated, and Tech drops to one of those teams, they are right back in the Big 12 title hunt. The big concern coming into the season for the Horns was their young, inexperienced secondary. And it finally showed. They let 474 yards passing on Saturday night, and showed their inexperience by dropping 2 picks that could have been game changing.

All that said, Colt McCoy still proved he is among the best QB's in the nation with that ballsy4th Quarter performance driving them down to score with 1:29 left.

No. 9 Oklahoma State (win 59-17, Iowa State) - Oky Light is back in the title hunt after the upset of Tech. They took care of business over the worst team in the Big 12, Iowa state to the tune of 682 total yards. Zach Robinson, the oft forgotten Okla St QB, had 395 yards and 5 TD's with 66 yards rushing in this rout. Now they travel to Lubbock, with a chance to play themselves back into the title hunt.

No. 11 Boise State (win 49-0, New Mexico State) - Despite going 1-6 on third downs, the Smurfs rocked poor New Mexico State to the tune of 495 total yards, 216 of which came on the ground. They get the nod over fellow BCS buster Utah due to how bad they put it on NMSU.

No. 13 TCU (win 44-14, UNLV) - If ever they was a case that a one loss non BCS school should get some love from the BCS, its this years TCU. They racked up 410 total yards while holding the Rebels to 175. Time for another showdown this Thursday as they travel to Utah, with the winner more than likely getting a bid to play the ACC or Big East in the BCS.

BCS Busters

No. 11 Boise State (win 49-0, New Mexico State) - see above

No. 13 TCU (win 44-14, UNLV) - dido

No. 10 Utah (win 13-10, New Mexico) - Turnovers kept New Mexico in this game, but the Utes still won handily, as the Lobo's sored a TD with no time left to make this one seem closer than it was. Thursday night, be there.

No. 18 Tulsa (loss 23 - 30 Arkansas) - Goodbye to the Golden Landlocked Hurricanes, proving even a shitty BCS school is better than most non BCS ones. It was close, but a 96 yard return for a TD with 20 seconds left was the difference.

No. 16. Ball State (idle) - 4 games left, 3 on ESPN 2, can they handle the pressure?

Big Ups to all my haters upset of the week

Purdue (win 48-42, Michigan) - For the first time in like 150 years Michigan will not be in a bowl, and they will have a losing record. We knew they weren't going to be very good this year, but it still hurts a bit. Ball State will be in a bowl (probably), and Michigan won't. Cats and Dogs, living together, mass hysteria!

Local Love.

No. 13 TCU (win 44-14, UNLV) - Third time this game is one here.

North Texas (win 51-40, Western Kentucky) - We're not last! We're not last! This fantastic win over a team that wasn't even division one until this year, coupled with Washington losing again, means we have a better record than somebody! NT scored the last 14 points to bring home the win. Letting WKU and hivvy the Blood drop score 40 is a little unsettling.

No game for SMU this week, so they didn't lose!

Coming into focus, The BCS

The first BCS rankings came out a couple a few weeks ago, but they mean very little to this point. There is so much football left to be played.

That said, every week team emerge from the pack, set themselves apart, and start making statements. We all know every team's goal is to make a BCS bowl game, and every big conference is to make the BCS championship game. We know that unless every other team in the nation gets 3 losses, a small conference team won't be in the big game, so with that in mind, there are 11 team at this point that still have a shot at playing for the crystal football. Me being a college football dork, I have come up with my list of teams, in order of how likely they are to play for the big game, and here they are.

The Teams that control their own destiny.

Texas 8-0,
Big Wins: Oklahoma, Missouri, Oklahoma State.
Remaining Schedule: @tech, Baylor, @Kansas, Texas A&M. Big 12 Championship game.
Breakdown: If they win out, they will be in, but its no lock. You never know what Tech is going to throw at them this week, and watch out for traveling to Kansas, they can still play. They would have to lose twice to not make the Big 12 champ game(unless its only once to Tech, and they go undefeated or lose only once), and More than likely they will get Missouri in the Big 12 champ game again. All of these things make it clear that if Texas can survive, they are in the big game.

Alabama 8-0,
Big Wins: Clemson, @Georgia, @Tennessee,
Remaining Schedule: Arkansas State, @LSU, Mississippi State, Auburn, SEC Championship Game.
Breakdown: 3 games left that they could lose, @LSU, Auburn, and the SEC Championship game vs. either Florida or a rematch with Georgia. In the SEC, you never really know what team is going to come bite you in the ass, so causes optimism is the feeling for Bamma right now. If they do it, you can't keep out a 12-0 SEC team. One loss to LSU or Auburn will still have them playing for the SEC title, and if other teams lose, they could still sneak in, but its doubtful.

Texas Tech 8-0
Big Wins: Kansas.
Remaining schedule: - Texas, Oklahoma State, @Oklahoma, Baylor. B12CC
Breakdown: While they hold all the cards in their hands, they are now entering the meat of their schedule. The win over Kansas showed they can play with good teams, but Kansas is no Texas, or Oklahoma. They are a long shot, but if they go the distance, they will be in the BCS game with out help from anybody.

Teams that need a little help.

Penn State 9-0
Big Wins: @Wisconsin, @Ohio State,
Remaining Schedule: @Iowa, Indiana, Michigan State
Breakdown: So far, Penn State has done everything in its power to prove its a legit contender, but the failings of Ohio State the past two BCS Championship games will hurt them. The Big 10 isn't nearly as competitive as the Big 12 or SEC, but still they can only play who is on their Schedule, and so far, they have beaten them all. The only real "tuff" game left is home to Michigan State the last game of season. To get in, they need a loss from two of these teams, Texas, Alabama, Texas Tech, and they may also need a loss from the winner of Florida and Georgia. The reason for that is alot of people will put in a one loss SEC team over an undefeated Big 10 team. Whether its right or wrong, it might happen.

Florida 6-1
Big Wins: @Tennessee, LSU,
Key loss: Mississippi
Remaining Schedule: @Georgia, @Vanderbilt, south Carolina, citadel, @Florida State, SEC Champ.
Breakdown: If they win the next two weeks, they are in the SEC Champ game, and could get a shot at number 2 Bamma. If they win out, they will have wins over 3 top ten teams and Florida State, which is a much more impressive resume than the Penn State, and could jump in front of them if that happens. To be on the safe side, they will need Penn State to lose one of their finial 3 games, and then win out, and they should be in.

Georgia 7-1
Big Wins: @Arizona State, Vanderbilt, @lsu,
Key loss: Alabama
Remaining Schedule: Florida, @Kentucky, @auburn, Georgia tech, SEC Champ.
Break Down: Same thing, to a T, as Florida. They win out, including a win in the rematch over Bamma in the SEC Champ game, coupled with a Penn State loss, they are in fo sho.

USC 6-1
Big Wins: Ohio State, Oregon, @Arizona
Key Loss: Oregon State
Remaining Schedule: Washington, California, @Stanford, Notre Dame, @UCLA
Breakdown: For the Trojans to get in, they need to win out, and then one of the following needs to happen: Texas Losses to someone in the Big 12 Champ game and Penn State drops one, Bamma drops losses to a 2 loss team in the SEC champ game, and Penn State drops one. There could be a few more, but those are two most likely scenarios.

Lots of help

Oklahoma 7-1
Big Wins: TCU, Kansas
Key loss: Texas
Remaing Schedule: Nebraska, @Texas a&m, Texas Tech, Oklahoma State, Big 12 Champ.
Breakdown: They still have small shot at the Big 12 Championship game, but Texas would have to lose twice. If they did, that's really the only shot Oklahoma has to get back to the BCS championship game.

Oklahoma state 7-1
Big Wins: @Missouri
Key loss: Texas
Remaining Schedule: Iowa State, @Texas Tech, @Colorado, Oklahoma, Big 12 Champ.
Breakdown: Same as Oklahoma. They still have a shot, but they need Texas to lose twice, and then win out to have any shot at the BCS Champ Game.

Dark Horse long shot.

Florida State 6-1
Big Wins: @Miami, Virginia Tech
Key loss: Wake Forest
Remaining Schedule: @Georgia Tech, Clemson, Boston college, @Maryland, Florida, ACC Champ.
Breakdown: The only reason this team has a shot, is they play Florida at the end of the year. For them to get to the game, they would have to win out, have USC, and Penn State lose, and have Florida win out except for the game against them, beat Bamma in the SEC champ game, and probably have Texas lose in the Big 12 champ game. Its a long shot, but that's why they are the dark horse.

Lots of things are going to happen between now and when we find out who will be playing a week after the first. My best guess right now is its going to be Texas vs. Florida, with Penn State pissed off with an undefeated season. But then again, i had West Virginia vs. Oregon in the BCS game at this point last year. Gonna be a good weekend.

A Ranger fan must be named editor of Deadspin. Soon.

Will Leitch. Original Editor of Deadspin, founded in 2005. Lifelong St. Louis Cardinal fan. St. Louis Cardinals, World Series Champions, 2006.

A.J. Daulerio. Current Editor of Deadspin, named in 2008. Lifelong Philadelphia Phillies fan. Philadelphia Phillies, World Series Champions, 2008.

I hereby request, nay, demand that A.J. and Rick over at Deadspin find a Texas Rangers fan to be named the next editor of Deadspin.

Come on, the slightest bit of help here...please?

Douche or No?

I got another Douche or no for you.

Its an Idaho football game, where the kicker is also the teams QB. During Kickoff the receiving team runs this play. Watch the kicker and keep in mind that this is High School Football, and the Kicker is also the QB.



The coach was put on administrative leave. There were no flags, as its not a penalty to do this, but I must ask the question, Is this coach a Douchbag, or is this more indication of the wussyfacation of America?

HT : Fanhouse

Move over Herm Edwards

We got a new Favorite crazy ass head coach. Mike Singletary.



Take that Vernon Davis!

Umm...

Hat tip: With Leather

So, um, I'm not really sure what to say here.

A-Rod. Tony Hawk. Michael Phelps. Okay, I can see those three and laugh.

But, Kobe? Kobe Bryant totally going balls out crazy and dorking out?

I gotta say, Kobe is slowly moving up the charts in my book.

He was already top 5 because he raped a girl in Colorado....I mean he was the NBA MVP!! NBA MVP!!!!

college football round up - week 9 - who is the baddest!?

SHO NUFF!!

While we won't know the answer to who is the greatest in the land for another 2 months, this last weekend was all about teams standing up in a movie theater, asking the question "who is the masta!?!" and having everybody shout "Sho Nuff!"

"Who is the Masta of ......"

Big 12 : "Texas"
Big 10: "Joe Pa"
Big East "West Virginia"
Sunbelt: "North Tex...eerrrrr.... Troy!"
WAC: "Boise!"
SEC East: "Florida/Georgia" (all right they can't all be nice)
The Spread Offense: "Texas Tech"
Running game: "Navy"

It was a weekend where teams really took care of business, and tried to make a statement about where they season is going to end up. We had big games in about all divisions, with the end results more than likely playing into what bowls teams will get in.

We are 8 games into the season, and with 4 more regular season games for most teams, here are the bowl eligible teams already, Maryland, North Carolina, Missouri, Texas, Texas Tech, Oklahoma State, Oklahoma, Connecticut, South Florida, Penn State, Ohio State, Michigan State, Minnesota, Northwestern, Tulsa, TCU, Utah, Air Force, Brigham Young, Central Michigan, Ball State, Western Michigan, USC, Oregon, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Boise State.

Conference breakdown of most bowl eligible teams so far.
Big 12 - 5
Big 10 -5
Mountain West - 4
SEC - 3
Mid American - 3
Pac 10 - 2
ACC -2
Big East - 2
WAC - 1
USA - 1
Sunbelt - 0

I know it means very little at this point, but its always fun to poke the bear that is the SEC and drive them crazy by pulling stats like that out your ass. Because we all know, the biggest blowhards are the fans of the SEC, they make Texas football enthusiasts (the state not the Univ) look like namby pambys.

On to the rankings. Since we are starting to get into the think of things, the Main Eventers may not be 5 teams anymore, the Main Eventers are now teams with a real, legit shot at finding their way into a title game.

Main Eventers.

No. 1 Texas (win 28-24, No. 6 Oklahoma State) - The stretch of games that Texas has played might be the hardest stretch for a college football team that I can ever remember. If they pull it off this week vs. Tech, this will be who they have beaten over the last 4 weeks, The Rival, The Offense, the Running game/Defense, and the Passing Game. That's four different types of teams, all with their own different strengths. If they do it this week, it will be something not even VY did in his day.

Texas never trailed in this game, and Colt was just as good as he always is, 38-45, 391, and 41 on the ground. Texas committed only one penalty all game long, and converted on 11-14 third downs, and Jordan Shiply was fantastic, 15 receptions, 168 yards. The game was always close, but the Horns never trailed and played great defense in the fourth quarter to keep State out of the end zone.

No. 2 Alabama (win 29-9, Tennessee) - Say what you want to about how "down" Tennessee is this year, they still have players who can hurt you, and Alabama knew that, and just headbutted them over and over again to win the game handily. The Bama defense held Tennessee to only 173 total yards, and just 36 on the ground. While this defense is good, really good, the offense really needs to start showing me more to buy in that they can beat Florida, and if they both get there, Texas.

No. 3 Penn State (win 13-6, No. 9 Ohio State) - Penn State had the defense. You hold Ohio State to under 65 yards rushing, and you have a pretty stout D, and your going to win the game too. That's what they did. The reason I dropped them from 2 to 3 is I was really hoping for more from this Penn State offense. I really like Daryll Clark, but 12 for 20 and 121 through the air isn't going to cut it vs Texas, Bamma, Florida, Georgia, Oklahoma or USC.

No. 5 USC (win 17-10, Arizona) - They really just love to play down to their opponent, don't they? I said last week that this would be the best chance for someone to beat USC for the rest of the year, and I almost looked like a genius. Statistical USC should have won this game by 20, but I don't know if its lack of killer instinct, or what, but out gaining your opponents by almost 200 yards and then only winning by 7 because you couldn't get into to endzone like you needed too? Come on. Something should be said for grinding out a victory I guess.

No. 8 Texas Tech (win 63-21, No. 23 Kansas) - First nice win of the year for the Red Raiders, and it came right in the nick of time. They needed to win this game handily, so they could have some confidence this week when big bad UT comes to town. Graham Harrell was money this week, 34-42 386, and 5 TD's. IF they can pull of the shocker this weekend, you have to put Tech in the top 3. On the flip side, Kansas now becomes that "i really don't want to play them" team that is out of the race for big 12 championship, but can still fuck up alot of shit, including playing at Texas later this year.

No. 7 Georgia (win 52-38, No. 13 LSU) - Don't get it twisted, LSU is still a good football team, but Georgia just put almost 200 yards rushing, and forced 3 INTs vs them. You do that, and your going to win more games than you lose. Knowshawn is great in this one, 21 for 163. Right now that SEC East is looking like its going to get fun this week when Georgia plays.....

No. 10 Florida (win 63-5, Kentucky) - Yup, after this week we will have at least 1 team that will no longer have a shot at the BCS strap. Florida plays Georgia, after they just CRUSHED Kentucky, the same Kentucky team that only lost by 3 to the number 2 team in the land, Bamma. What can you say about the game, when you score 28 first quarter points, stats don't really matter after that.

Mid Card Guys. (see I had 7 main eventers, now the guys who really need help getting to the big show)

No. 4 Oklahoma (win 58-35, Kansas State) - Do i really believe Oklahoma is only the eighth best team in this fair land? Hells no, but right now they need a lot of help to get into that big game. But we'll talk about that later. After weeks of Sam Bradford and co. putting on a show through the air, this week, they rocked one hell of a ground game, to the tune of 273 yards rushing. 2 sooner players went over the century mark, and they took care of K-State. K-State is now 4-4, and they don't have any walkovers except Iowa State left on their schedule. Could this team not make a bowl game?

No. 25 Florida State (win 30-20, Virginia Tech) - I might be going out on too far of a limb here, but Florida State has only one loss, and they can still play a little bit of defense. The game wasn't pretty, as both teams only had 250 some odd total yards, but Florida State didn't turn the ball over, and they forced 2, and that was the deference in this game.

BCS Busters.

No. 12 Boise State (win 33-16, San Jose State) - Held SJSU to 98 yards passing.
No. 14 TCU (win 54-7, Wyoming) - Despite having a loss, they might be the best non BCS team to date.
No. 19 Tulsa (win 49-19, UCF) - Held the Knights to 180 total yards.
No. 20 Ball State (win 38-16, Eastern Michigan) - My bad for leaving Ball State off last week.

Big Ups to all my Haters upset of the week:

No. 15 Missouri (win 58-0, Colorado) - For the second week in a row its not a true upset that gets the upset of the week, but how well a team played. I feel bad for Colorado, who was alot of people's darkhourse to win the Big 12 North, and they got a really, really, pissed of Missou.

Local Love.

No. 14 TCU (win 54-7, Wyoming) - No turnovers, and 444 yards of total O. Nice showing for the Froggies.

Southern Methodist (loss 7-34 Navy) - And the Ponys are out of bowl eligibility. Total yards, SMU 144, Navy 404. Total Rushing yards, SMU -13, Navy 404. That's right. All of Navy's yards came on the ground. Let me say that again. ALL OF NAVY'S YARDS CAME ON THE GROUND! They didn't even attempt a pass. Not one.

North Texas (loss 17-45 Troy) - Any way we can play Washington at some point this year? They are the only team besides us that don't have a win yet. Fantastic. Fun little short stories from the UNT homecoming.

I don't understand how there is only bar that everybody wants to go to after the game, when there is a street of bars. I love this certain bar very much, and go there often. I don't want to should like an elitist here, but I'm not waiting in line for a bar for 30 min, even if its my favorite bar, when next door I can sit and have a drink, and wait for the line to go down. But that's just me.

First sighting of a chick crying for some reason? 8:00 pm. Don't know why. But that still seems early.

Speaking of crying, thanks to the Mexican for sending me into the hornets nest of a crying girl. He told me "go talk to her, you have a good shot at getting some." So of course I did, but then i found out the reason I had a shot is her boyfriend, a guy I know, not really a friend, but still a guy I know, had been macking down with another chick when she got to the bar, and she was a wreck.

Thanks buddy.

That's it for now. Later this week, I'll give you my road to the Championship game as well as the Heisman favs. Big ups to Halloween, the most fun Holiday for people aged 3-12 and 18-35, but for completely different reasons.

The New Basketball Season is Almost Here!!!!

Told you it was Puppy Friday

So, we're just under a week away from tipping off the new Mavericks season. I'll be honest, I'm not holding onto the greatest amount of hope that the Mavericks can do a lot of damage. The West is still more powerful than the East, and the Mavs's division is RIDICULOUS.

Shit, New Orleans, San Antonio, Houston in the same god damned division. Then you look at the rest of the West and you've got the LA teams, New Orleans, Denver, Golden State, Phoenix, and my "team to fear this year", Portland. You can only pick 8 of those to go playoffs and contend? Yeesh.

The Roster (projected starters)

Guards

Jason Kidd
Well, here we go again. He's another year older, and he's coming off an Olympic summer where he couldn't spend the entire time resting his styrofoam knees. He's also sponsored by a Chinese shoe company. He showed that he is a great mentor, and a great teacher...but look who he's teaching

J.J. Barea
Oh. Dear. God. No. If you haven't been reading us, then I'm going to let you know this fact. Juan Jose Barea is the personal whipping boy of The Big and The Brown.

Jason Terry
Personally, I don't see JET finishing the season a Dallas Maverick. I like Terry, I do, but I think that he's not going to fit in the Carlisle mentality and system. That being said, he's the only legitimate number 2 scorer on this team if Howard doesn't find himself, so here's to hoping Terry has "that" season.

Gerald Green
Darling number 2 of the preseason, and offseason move de jour. Green has openly said that he still has a lot to learn and he can't depend on his insane hops to be a formidable player in this league. He's been fantastic in the preseason, but that's the preseason. Show us you can do it for real, because with Barea and Kidd at point, you're going to see a lot of Terry slipping to the 1 and Green playing for the 2 if a combo isn't available.

Combos

Josh Howard
All hail, Captain Controversy! After a terrible season last year, the end of last season's pot admissions and this summer's anti-Star Spangled Banner stance, Josh Howard is going to be the most scrutinized player on the entire roster. Period. At his best, Howard is the most tenacious defender on the team and the legit second scorer behind Dirk in the front court. At his worst, he's Antoine Carter. This is our only hope to match the crazy of Ron Artest a few hours south on 45.

Devean George
I hate this guy. Avery brought him in because he was supposed to be a "defensive specialist". I call him, waste of court and bench. The Mavs were able to unload Eddie Jones, now let's focus on pushing George out the door like I was ousted from our softball team.

Jerry Stackhouse
Just like Jason Kidd, here's another guy who's got A LOT of miles on his tires. I don't know many people who don't like Stack. He's a gamer and he's the only guy on this team, at times, who shows any energy and drive to slash in the paint. That being said, he's old and frail and can't do it anymore.

Antoine Wright
Darling number 1 of the preseason, and an Aggie to boot. Acquired in the Jersey trade, Wright raised a few eyebrows last year and has been THE guy this preseason. I find Wright to be a very curious case, and I think this could be another one of those Donnie Nelson diamonds in the rough kind of players.

Forwards

Dirk Nowitzki
Not much else to say, but to quote Simmons: This is going to be the "EFF YOU AVERY" season. As long as Dirk is healthy, this team has a chance to win any game.

Brandon Bass
Bass is one of those guys that we're not sure of. I mean that. He reminds me of Joaquin Benoit and the Rangers. He's too good to sit or let go, and he shows flashes of greatness, but he hasn't consistently been the guy you need him to be. Beacuse of that, teams want Bass and the Mavs are always toying with the idea of packaging him. I say, don't move this guy. Let him learn under Dirk. Bass can be a solid off the bench guy and eventual starter when Dirk reaches Jason Kidd's age.

James Singleton
Signed with the Mavs this summer for the veteran minimum. The way the Mavs like to flush out the roster every offseason. Make no mistake, Singleton is going to be the black Austin Croshere.

Shawne Williams
This was who the Mavs got back from Indiana for Eddie Jones. Williams is a young guy from Memphis who was suspended for the first few games of last year for not adhering to standards of behavior for the Pacers. That's the Marquis Daniels Pacers. Shit. Williams isn't a dazzling scorer, but he's got range and has gone on hot streaks. He's not a crash the boards forward and he's a shoot first, drive later kind of guy. He fits the Mavericks, but I dont know if that's saying much.

Centers

Erick Dampier
Ahh yes, the more things change, the more they stay the same. I could probably cut and paste the phrase "it depends on which Dampier we get tonight" from any number of posts and text messages over the past couple of years. I stand by that. When Dampier is on, then he is one of the best fives in the league...oh yeah, he has to put up with Shaq ribbing him again, so let's see what that does.

DeSagana Diop
What did you learn in New Jersey, my large African friend? Probably nothing, but at the least, we know the center tandem of Diop and Dampier was enough to win the West a few years ago. Diop needs more size to really bang down under with the big guys, but he does have a better defensive skill set than Dampier. I'd expect Diop to develop a rapport with Kidd and advance his offensive skills as well. I wouldn't be surprised to see Diop starting over Damp in mid-season.

Coach

Rick Carlisle
Well, well, well. I wasn't a big fan of this, and I believe I had a post about it. I was never a big believer in the "Avery is the reason we failed" theory, but maybe Rick Carlisle is the breathe of fresh air this team needs. I don't really know. Maybe Carlisle is the Maverick's version of Wade Phillips, and we're really just dancing with disaster...I can't get a bead on him, that's for damn sure.

The Team

The Mavericks aren't in an enviable position this year. Come to think of it, the "traditional" Western Conference powers are in danger of getting pushed out by the younger teams like New Orleans, Utah and Portland. Everyone on this team is going to have to bring it all 82 games because this is a division and a conference where no one can recover from too bad or long of a slump. Everyone else made moves to get stronger, and the Mavs seems to go lateral. Here's to homerism trumping pragmatism!

Try not to laugh at that....

Introducing, PUPPY FRIDAY!

There's a lot of stuff happening this week and into this weekend.

-Cowboys attempting to save their season
-Big college football games
-North Texas's homecoming (Big goes for drunk fame, I go for drunk infamy)
-World Series games
-Cold front in the area
-I test the new air filter registers I just installed at the house
-And a whole slew of other activities...

HOWEVER, the thing I want to bring to attention is a little move known as "High School Musical 3". I have my own set of thoughts on this, but I came across this entry at FilmDrunk.com, and all I could do was stand up, salute and wipe the tear from my eye.

"This movie is going to make a billion dollars. You know what I call that? Poetic justice. This is exactly what all of you sex and violence-hating pussies deserve: a nation full of gay kids. Because you know what you get when you take nudity and gun fights out of movies? You get a bunch of f-cking kids doing a big musical number about basketball on the basketball court. Then you hand your son a basketball and tell him to go play and wonder why he just stares at it like it’s a stage prop. Look at that f-cking picture! I gazed at it a little too long and all of a sudden I was French-kissing a man. Just imagine your kid sitting through two hours of that. That would make a lumberjack love cock.

But I’m sure it’s fine. Just make sure you send him to one of those camps that cures gay people, where they make him bunk with 20 other gay kids and all the counselors are guys who were gay until they learned how to conquer their queer with Jesus."

God bless you, sir. God bless you.

college football round up week 8 - ho hum sat

Why Mike Leach? Why not? He makes me giggle.

I was listening to Mike and Mike a little bit this morning on ESPN radio (the ticket, live 105, the edge and even kidd kradic were all on break), and they had the ever fun "email the show with your questions" segment.

First off i hate how nationally syndicated shows do this. They are scared to take calls because either they don't have the want, or they don't want to sound partial to one area of the country. Both of which are bullshit. If they don't have the want, how are we to know that bill from Washington isn't a made up name that they give out there so they can talk about something they want to talk about under the guise of "listener email." Did he really want to here what you guys think about the throwing ability of Jason Campell, or did you just want to give your opinion on it?
I'll end that tangent there.

Here is what they were talking about, and I'm sure the "real" email read like this:

Dear Mike and Mike.

I love your show! You guys are the best show ever! I listen every morning and think golic is stupid, and greenberg is gay. JK JK JK!! ha ha, you guys are awesome. My question for you guys is, Do you think any college teams will finish the season undefeated? If so, what two have the best shot? Thanks a bunch!

-Dave, Hillsbourgh Texas.

Of all the email that probably gets sent to these guys, this is the one they pick to talk about? I'm pretty sure they could of just asked each other during a segment "hey golic, yes greeny, what two teams have the best shot at going undefeated?" Do we really have to pretend people listen to your show and email in about that crap? That's like the whole Barry vs. Emmit stock shit you find on the WWL these days. I guess i shouldn't be surprised, and to be honest, its not a bad discussion, but to play it off in a an email segment doesn't do it any justice does it?

Thats just me, and I've kinda lost my train of thought. Lets get to the rankings.

Main Eventers.

No. 1 Texas (win 56-31 No. 11 Missouri) - Sunday was my birthday, and the older you get the less of a "lets get fucked up beyond all belief" birthday you want. That said I still like celebrating my birthday, so I tried to think of something fun to do that was a little different, and yet not "go to strip club." Then I remembered that not only was Texas plays Missou sat night, but the free UFC card was going to be on spike, so what ever I did i wanted to make it where I could watch both these things. We decide on Hooters for dinner and then a local sports bar afterward.

My local UT die hard and buddy Brown wasn't with us that night, because apparently he's an alcoholic, so there were no UT grads with our party, but the bar made up for all that stuff as it was decked with UT fans. About 30 min into the game I stoped watching the UT game and focused on the UFC fight. It was that bad, that quick. So much for that whole idea "Texas defense wasn't as good as their numbers" bit.

No. 3 Penn State (win 46-17, Michigan) - Holy crap I can't believe I have a Big Ten team in the top 2. I'm not saying Michigan is that great, but its still a nice win, and it looked like they would hang with and possible even upset the Nitty Lions during the first half, where they were up 17-14 going in. But then JoPa gave one of those half time speeches, pooped himself, and they team was ready to roll again.

Daryll Clark is the teams best player at QB, but this game was won on the offensive line, and by the RB Evan Royster, who netted 174 yards on 18 rushes.

No. 2 Alabama (win 24-20, Mississippi) - A lot of people are saying this Tide team is going to have to play a second half at some point this year to win a game. I thought was kinda silly to say, so i went back and looked at the numbers. Second Half Scoring, Bamma first then opponents: VS Ole Miss 0-17, vs UK 7-14, vs Georgia 10-30, vs Ark 14-7 and blowouts before that. That's a little scary no?

Granted they outscored opps in the first half by like a billion or something, but its something to keep an eye on.

No. 10 Georgia (win 24-14, No. 22 Vanderbilt) - I might be the only person that still thinks Georgia deserves a top 5 spot, but I still set back on the fact they have only one loss, to a top 5 team, and if they can win out, they will have 4 wins over top 25 teams, and another over Auburn. They have the talent, but its their, how you say, marbles that need to be checked.

This week they beat a good Vandy team, and Knowshawn had 172 on 23 carries. Nice.

No. 8 Oklahoma State (win 34-6, Baylor) - In the conference of top notch QB's and passing games, Okla light is built around a stout running game, and defense. In what a lot of people were calling a trap game, after a big win over Missou, and before a showdown in Austin, the lowly Baylor Bears are a better team than your average (Baylor) Bears. Didn't happen. Baylor had 204 total yards, only 42 on the ground, and couldn't put up points after the first quarter.

Mid Card Guys.

No. 4 Oklahoma (win 45-31, No. 16 Kansas) - I think when all is said and done, Oklahoma will be a top 3 team again this year, and if I were ranking on teams I don't want to play, they most def are in the top 3. Kansas may not be as good record wise as they were last year, but when they pulled it to within a touch at 24-31, i thought they were on the way back, but a couple of big drives by the Sooners put that idea to bed.

Sam Bradford has to be the front runner for the Heisman right now. Against Kansas he went 36-53, 468 yards, and 3 touchdowns. Toss in two guys who rushed for over 80 yards, and you have a staggering total offensive yardage of 674!

No. 7 Texas Tech (win 43-25, Texas A&M) - Kinda scary first half against the Aggies, as the Raiders were down three at half, then they realized they are playing the Aggies, and rolled in the second. Graham Harrell threw the ball 56 times, and only had 12 incompletions. Most staggering stat though, Tech was 10-12 on third downs.

No. 6 USC (win 69-0, Washington State)- I really wish USC had another game against a good team this year. This might be the best all round USC team since the Leinart-Bush team. 362 to 88 was the rushing yardage of USC vs Was State. Holy crap. Another crazy stat, in 6 games, they have allowed only 47 points, and 21 came against the Oregon State game. So 5 games, 20 points.

No. 5 Florida (idle) - Is it fair they dropped in my rankings because they didn't play anybody this week? Maybe not, but they did. But they have plenty of chances to move back up in two weeks when they play Georgia.

No. 15 Boise State (win 27-7, Hawaii) - I said I wasn't going to put Ohio State back in my top 10 this year, but if they beat Penn State this weekend, I might have to. Till then, Boise is my 10th team, the BCS buster vets. The blue turf was good to them again, as they picked off Hawaii 5 times in this Friday night game.

Developmental Guys. (not the next best teams, but some teams to watch out for)

No. 23 Pittsburgh (win 42-21, Navy) - The opening season loss to Bowling Green had most people saying Pitt was all hype, but since then they have rattled off 5 straight wins, including a win over South Florida. They stand atop the Big East right now tied with West Virginia, at 2-0 in conference play.

Arizona (win 42-27, No. 25 California) - Came back from down 10 at halftime to rout the Bears, and don't look now, but Zona is 3-1 in the Pac 10. They play USC this weekend, and should they pull off the shocker, they are sitting pretty for a run at the Rose Bowl. Yea, right!

BCS Busters.

No. 15 Boise State (win 27-7, Hawaii) - See Above.

No. 14 Utah (win 49-16, Colorado State) - Still have to play both TCU and BYU.

TCU (win 32-7, No. 9 Brigham Young) - Say goodbye to the Coogers chances of a BCS bid. I don't like to say I told you so, but I told you so.

Tulsa (win 77-35, UTEP) - Hey, they are 7-0, and putting up some points! They haven't scored under 37 all year.

Big Up to all my Haters upset of the week -

No. 12 Ohio State (win 45-7, No. 20 Michigan State) - OK, its not an upset, but the score is upsetting. OSU should beat Michigan State, but to roll them like that was the most surprising thing I saw sat. I really thought State was better than that.

Local Love

TCU (win 32-7, No. 9 Brigham Young) - All ready mentioned it a little earlier, but damn TCU can play defense.

Southern Methodist (loss 38-44, Houston) - I totally agree, just another kick in the crotch for SMU. Houston isn't a bad team at all, but June Jones should start winning these games sooner rather than later.

North Texas (loss 23-35, Louisiana-Monroe) - Hey, they only scored 35 on us! Its not important that it was all in the first half. Vizza went for 360 and 2 TD's, but more importantly, no pics. This weekend is homecoming against Troy. The game might get ugly quick, but i will promise at least one fun story next week from the booze intensive Saturday that homecoming brings this man!

Have good and get give.

Reader Submission: The Bear Growls...

Here at The Big and The Brown, we encourage our sexy readers to submit pieces of their own brain for fodder. Hell, sometimes we dare them...Steve, looking in your direction, buddy. Anyways, here's an entry from our famous friend, The Bear.

As always, this is just cut and paste, so take up your bitching with him.

Ok… so if you’re all like me you’re trying everything that you can do to try and put any sort of positive spin on the Cowboys anemic losses the last couple of weeks. Maybe you have a remote control sticking through the screen of your TV and you’re now having to start bargain shop for a replacement? Either way, the Cowboys that we have been watching the last 2 games are playing like crap and should all get a stiff kick in the groin because they “should” be better than they have been playing. Well, maybe I can give a little ray of hope to this team and the fans out there.

What are we dealing with? In business when you have a problem, the first thing to do is get to the root of the issue and correct it. Hopefully turning things around.

Is it… Injuries?

Yes we have had some serious problems with injuries this season. Although last year we were blessed with few injuries and rode that to a 13-3 record and a disappointing playoff ousting to the eventual Super Bowl Champion New York Giants. But it can’t be just the fact that we have Tony Romo (Pinkie Finger), Terrance Newman (Abdomen), Felix Jones (Hamstring), Kyle Kosier (Foot), Matt McBriar (foot), Anthony Spencer (Hamstring), Kevin Burnett (Calf), Pat Watkins (Neck), Roy Williams (Forearm) or Sam Hurd (Ankle) missing games or limited in their play time? Well… when you look at that list… Yes! It doesn’t help to have a laundry list of injuries to a team where after the starters the depth just doesn’t seem to be what we thought it was. Actually, Brown brought up a thought point during last week’s 30-24 overtime loss to the Arizona Cardinals if our coverage would be any better with Roy in the backfield? Well… anyone notice who was trailing Donnie Avery’s 42 yard TD grab in the 1^st quarter? Yes sir… that would be Mr. Williams himself, and guess where he went after that? To the trainer to look at his “arm.” Although the Cowboys are definitely troubled in the injury department with key losses of Romo, the shifty Mexican Felix Jones and a critical part of the secondary with T New I think the root lies somewhere else.

Is it… Locker Room personalities?

This team is definitely full of personalities with T.O., Pacman Jones (well, not really there now), Tank Johnson (though haven’t really heard from him since arriving here) and dare I say Tony ‘Simpson’ Romo (love the guy, respect the guy, despise his glee for the spotlight). But from all accounts there doesn’t seem to be any rifts in the Locker Room. All the media types will cut, and edit tapes from the game to show Romo with his Sad Panda face, or T.O. barking at anyone in ear-shot and complaining he doesn’t get the ball enough, or Pacman making it rain to make us all believe that there’s too many Type A personalities on this team. I again don’t think this is the problem. As Coach Jimmy McGinty once told Shane Falco about wanting the ball “…winners always do.”

Is it… The Coaching?

Let’s admit it… We all Love Wade Phillips. We all feel that he is everyone’s lovable Grandfather and isn’t hard enough on his players, that the Cowboys are able to roll over Wade Phillips and don’t pay attention to anything he says! Well, maybe he is, but again I say we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe we think we do because we felt privied to a peak behind the curtain while watching ‘Hardknocks’ on HBO during the preseason. Or every time something good happens on the field he’s running and jumping down the sideline fist pumping like it’s the first time it’s ever happened (well lately if something good happened I’d probably do the same thing). Maybe it’s that Brian Stewart doesn’t understand what the term “Defensive Packages” are? Or maybe it’s that we have anointed Jason Garrett as the second coming of Norv Turner (Say what you want, but you can’t discredit his offensive numbers during his tenure here)? I do think that the coaching has a lot to blame through this, but I feel like I will need to pinpoint this, and I will because ultimately all the blame should go on the coaches.

So what does the Bear feel is the problem with this team? THE LINE! What? How can it be the line when everyone touted just how big and powerful they are? How they are bruisers beating people up and wearing defenses down? Well just as how the blame falls on the coaches for losses, the effectiveness of the offense and defense falls on the lineman… Offense and Defense! Everything starts with the play at the line of scrimmage. Having played on the line on both sides of the ball before you know that the game is determined there. If the O Line is able to get a push then that creates room for the Running back. If the D Line is able to get a push that clogs the holes for the Running back. If the O Line is able to pick up a blitz then it gives time for the Quarterback to make his reads. If the D Line is able to get pressure then it prevents the Quarterback from making his reads.

How about the Defensive Line first? After watching these seven games I have yet to see this Defensive front to get consistent pressure on the quarterback. Yes, Demarcus Ware has a sack in 10 straight games, and recorded 3 sacks on Bulger, but for the most part… those are coverage sacks. For those who don’t understand what that is… that’s when all the receivers are covered downfield, and the longer the quarterback holds the ball the more time it gives the rushers to get to him. How many times did we just watch Bulger, Warner, Campbell, McNabb just take a 3 step drop and have time to look through their progressions 2 or 3 times? I don’t care if it’s Tarvaris Jackson standing back there, if you have as much time as we’re giving Quarterbacks to throw of course we’re going to get thrown all over. I don’t know what they can do to correct this. Maybe Tank need to bust out his Prison strong mentality and start busting some heads? Maybe we need to start trying out Barbie Carpenter a little more because at least he’s faster than Zach Thomas (Whoa… did I really say that?)? Was the loss of Aiken Ayodele and Jacob Ferguson really that critical to the defensive front? I don’t think so, but we need to play better on the frontline to start pressuring these Quarterbacks, and we can do it. Look at the Cleveland game. The Cowboys did not allow Derek Anderson to get comfortable in the pocket and when you can do that to a Quarterback they will start to force things and that turns into incompletion’s, or possibly interceptions (which we only have 2 on the season).

So how ‘bout that Offensive Line? They’re Big! They’re Slow! They’re getting out smarted! I was thrilled to see in the offseason when the Cowboys brought back Hudson Houck as the O Line Coach. This is the guy that coached Larry Allen, Eric Williams, Mark Stepnoski, Nate Newton and Mark Tuinei to 22 Pro Bowl appearances among them. But what the hell has happened with this group? This is still a good line, that should be able to do what everyone expects them to… Beat the living crap out of any defensive line they face. Yet time after time they look confused with the different blitz packages teams throw them. They look out hussled on the edge by shiftier, more aggressive Defensive Ends. They look lost! Maybe it is that they hear all the hype about the size, and potential of the line and think they can just show up and pound the line of scrimmage? Maybe the loss of Kosier was more serious than we all thought? Whatever it is this Offensive line is to blame for Romo’s finger. This Offensive Line is to blame for McBriar’s foot! This Offensive line is to blame for TO’s abysmal numbers. I’m sorry if this sounds a little harsh, but Offensive Lineman aren’t supposed to be glamorous attention whores like the drunk girl at the bar who doesn’t care how bad she’s dancing as long as she’s getting attention. Offensive Lineman are the group that is supposed to show up to work before everyone else, leave after everyone else, and at the end of the day when the game is won and all the cameras and reporters are interviewing the Backs they get on the bus and get ready to go back to work for the next week. No Glitz, No Glamour, just Football!

Which would you rather have?

OR

In the ongoing effort to avoid the jinx, let's just pretend that this is a totally hypothetical situation, okay?

Let's say you had your alma mater blazing the college football scene. They're legitimate favorites to win the title this year, and they've passed every test thrown at them this year.

Let's also say that the professional team you follow has spit the bit and is dangerously close to sucking all of the life from its fan base. A fan base, no less, that is threatening mutiny against the coach.

Let's also say, the two are directly related.

Which would you rather have? A National Championship for your alma mater, or a Super Bowl for your professional team.

The college window is extremely small. Given the turnover of students athletes, a team can have a window of maybe one or two years to put together a solid, experienced team to have a legitimate shot to win the whole thing. Even within those one or two years, everything has to go perfect. Every game matters, and a single slip ruins everything. Everyone else's schedules matter. The team is at the mercy of a screwed up polling and computer system.

The professional window is only slightly larger. Free agency has let to a turnover rate of players in the blink of a contract. Games can be lost, as the season allows for recovery, but playoffs are playoffs are playoffs and a single bad game can ruin the fun. The team is at the mercy of it's own set of egos and general jack-assery.

So, sexy reader, which would you rather have for yourself?


Again...this is totally hypothetical...it's not like anyone writing on this site has this situation currently presented to them. Nope, not a single one.

Panic!?! Don't mind if I do!!!

34-14

Ouch.

The Cowboys were every body's darlings at the beginning of the season. Everybody said they were the team to beat in the NFC.

Then comes week one.

A convincing win over a team that last year was a 10 win team.

Tom Brady gets hurt.

Week Two:

Shootout with other "good team" Philly in Dallas has people believing that Dallas now is the best in not just the NFC, but the NFL.

Week Three:

Goes to Green Bay and puts a whoopin on the Packers at Lambau.

Week Four-Six

Gets "upset" by Washington, barley beats a bad Cinncy team, and gets beat by Arizona.

Now 34-14. To the Rams.

Time to panic.

What can they do to turn the ship around?

Answer is simple.

Fire Wade Phillips.

If Jason Garret is the end all be all, let him have the rest of the season to prove it. If he can get this team in the play-offs and make some noise, its his team for the next 5 years. If he can't get this mash up of extremely talented players to the post season, he doesn't need to be here either.

And if he can't. Time to money whip Bill Cower.

These are dark days for the Cowboys, and over the next 3 weeks, we are going to see what this team has for balls.

If the season ended today, Cowboys are out of the playoffs.

Think about that.

No! No! No! No! Never! Never! No!

I know what we're running away from...

Disturbing news today from my arch-nemesis, PETA....

"PETA is asking the owners of Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown to take a $50 million cut in pay.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has sent a letter to owners Michael Iavarone and Richard Schiavo begging them to castrate the colt"

Why? What did we ever do to PETA beside enjoy a nice steak?

What's worse is that I can think of about 5 ex-girlfriends of mine who would be willing to sign this petition...jeez, it's not like I didn't punch them in the stomach when I was done to make sure nothing bad happened.

"Are you guys alive and paying attention?"

How Brown feels these days...a coked up Brit.

The obvious answer to your question is the picture above.

No. Apparently both of us have jobs that pay bills and such.

Personally, I'm going to say shock, really. I mean...so much going on, and everyone is covering it already.

Time for quick hits...

-Tony Romo, breaks pinky (apparently it was a Cardinal sack, and not providing Jessica with that extra dirty loving that white girls appreciate). Originally thought to be out four weeks. Receives phone call from Brett Favre. Now claims to want to play this Sunday in St. Louis. I guess that can only mean that Brett Favre really is God. Now how about curing Michael J. Fox's Parkinson's, Brett? We want, nay, we need Teen Wolf 4.

-Terrence Newan, still injured.

-Felix Jones, torn hamstring. Felix is out for 2-3 weeks. So much for Jerry's Razorback Wunderkind. Lucky for us, I truly believe that Tarshard Choice is a solid back up to Barber. He isn't the flash that Jones is, but he certainly is better than anyone else in recent years.

-Pat Watkins, still hurt.

-Kyle Kosier, injured Jew. Big, we're looking in your direction.

-Flozell Adams, shoulder stinger. Technically this is the equivalent of temporary paralysis...yet somehow he still gets false start penalties. I wonder how well this will go over in 2013 when he's still under contract.

-Roy Williams, still injured. No one cares.

-Roy Williams, new addition. To quote a text message I sent to Big, "Finally, the REAL Roy Williams has come back to Texas!" I take full credit for this. I bet Jerry read this. I don't have anything else to say, except it was quite the week for Texas fans.

-Let's see, did I forget anything? Anything? Anyone? Beuller? Fry? ...Ahh yes, Q-bert strikes again. Pacman Jones, out for 4 games, minimum, maybe forever. You have one responsibility, don't fuck up. You sit out for 1.5 years and you are consistently reminded, don't fuck up. You see what happens to Mike Vick, and you're reminded, don't fuck up. You get a daily allowance from Jerry Jones with a note saying, don't fuck up. You finally get a taste of freedom and what do you do? YOU FUCK UP. I hope I'm not the only one who thinks Pacman Jones is slowly patterning himself after Brooks from "The Shawshank Redemption". He only knows how to exist "on the inside", and when he was finally free, he killed himself.

That's the worst comparison I've ever made. I'm sorry.

Oh, and to apologize for the Amy Winehouse picture above, here's an olive branch...

Megan Fox in a Star Wars T-Shirt. She'll never do me wrong. Ever.