2 months ago, I came up with the radical idea of re-launching this blog. Big and I had let things go stale, but we still had plenty to say, so I thought, maybe I’ll jump start things with a series of mini-posts and that would be that. After all, I was maintaining being active on our Twitter account the entire time, and I figured as social media progressed, why shouldn’t we re-join the fray and re-establish ourselves within the blogging community.
So, for the past 10 weeks, Big and I have been fairly diligent on blog posts. We’ve tried to get one out each day, and though Big wasn’t all that jazzed about doing it again, he stepped in when I couldn’t and produced his usual greatness. Inigo and Fezzik had returned!
It was Twitter that turned the corner.
I liked Twitter. I really did. It was a way to follow comedians, sports reporters and other bloggers and know what was going on prior to stories hitting websites. I followed a few friends, but for the most part kept my focus on the other groups for entertainment.
I’m not sure when it happened, but somehow we (myself included) lost our veil of civility online. I’m not talking about trollers and general internet commenters, I’m talking about friends talking to each other. When I meet with my friends in person, I’d like to think we all have a good time. We kick each other in the balls, we make jokes, we tell stories, it’s a good time. We don’t sell things to each other. We don’t intentionally annoy each other. We aren’t deliberately malicious to each other.
Somehow with the advent of Twitter,the tables turned. Now, when with friends, everyone spends the entire time looking at their phones. They’re not conversing with each other, they’re Twittering with people who aren’t there or sometimes with the person next to them. Rather than telling friendly jokes, we’re spamming each other, checking-in, and telling each other “you should totally check this out” sales pitches. I don’t even want to hang out sometimes because what’s the point? I’m basically talking to the crown of everyone’s head because their staring at their phones.
I know everyone thinks I’m calling out Bear for his ChevySMC nonsense, but I think that, for me, was just the breaking point. For all intents and purposes, I should be happy for the guy, after all, one of my good friends won a friggin’ iPad, and that’s pretty fucking sweet. But, after the spamming on Twitter and the, oh so classy, “I won the iPad bitches” text message, I was angry. I was angry because it felt like someone valued winning a toy over keeping a good relationship with their friends. And then I got angry at myself, why the hell am I getting upset? It’s Twitter – who the hell maintains a relationship on social media?
But don’t we? When’s the last time I’ve actually had a conversation with my friends? Been awhile. We excuse ourselves with the occasional tweet or Facebook post as though that’s somehow the way to maintain a friendship. Sure, you’ll argue that I don’t come out anymore. It’s a fair argument, but it isn’t like anything is stopping me. I just notice that when we do come out and join everyone, all I see is everyone on their phone, heads down with their thumbs in a tornado (“Is THIS the only way I can talk to you, Dad?” ). Why do that when I can relax at home?
So…now what? Consider this my last post, for good this time, from this blog and the end of my using Twitter.
I’m sure I’ll get called a pussy by this person or that because I’m worried about what anyone else thinks or I’m getting upset because someone said something mean to me. Maybe I’m a hypocrite who does fine in doing a Waldorf/Statler impression, but when I have to actually interact, I keep my trap shut. Maybe I am a pussy, a hypocrite or just an person who doesn’t get new technology and how people communicate today. Either way, I can’t really think of anything positive with my friends and my relationships that’s happened with Twitter or this blog. I have a laundry list of negativity, hypocrisy and all out stupidity that has come from it.
Big may post here again, but I think now that he knows I’m done, he’ll retire because he was pretty much done as it was. I was the one responsible for dragging him back in. We’ll leave the URL and site up because I still use the link tree on the side. For those that I know, I’ll see you when I see you. For those that I don’t, I’m happy you came by our little corner and read what we had to say. It has been a great 3 years writing and sharing thoughts with everyone, but I think we’ve run our course.
Big's Response
"I was angry because it felt like someone valued winning a toy over keeping a good relationship with their friends. And then I got angry at myself, why the hell am I getting upset? It’s Twitter – who the hell maintains a relationship on social media? "
I couldn't have said it better. The relationship that I have with social media is definitely a love-hate relationship. Parts of it are fantastic, the ability to follow people of whos opinions I value, to be the entertained or learn from them, is such a great thing. the ability to follow events in real-time, is something I didn't expect but come to thoroughly enjoy from twitter.
But there are some bad uses of social media, and they do become the turn in the punch bowl. It's my fear that those who do use it poorly will drive away people like Brown.
As for the blog? I think it's best that we put it this way, don't expect new content all the time, if there's ever something we feel we want to write about we have space for it, right here at the big and the Brown.
Treat us like the sugar sheet, the site we link to. they don't post everyday, hell they don't post every month but when they find something interesting and they think that their readers would enjoy it they post it.
That's what we've become. So come check back with us every once in a while, maybe we'll have some new content maybe we won't.
And if Brown is really done, it's been fun. I'm glad we could share our insane, heated, sports conversations with people outside of us. maybe they enjoyed it, maybe they didn't, but I know I sure did. cheers.
-Big
Not much to say here, but if you consistently tweet spam messages, you’re obviously trying to ruin the job you’ve done in trying to make everyone like you.
If you actually win whatever it is you’re trying to win, I hope you drop it and it breaks and you cry. You are the reason that global warming exists , cancer can’t be cured, gas prices are up and Justin Bieber is popular.
If you see someone tweeting a stream of spam messages, you have full authority, under the letter of the law, to walk up and punch them right in their bearded face.
First off, did you like that ruse I pulled to get Big back? I hope you did. I’m gonna get that large man blogging again regularly whether he likes it or not. Admit it, it felt good, didn’t it?
Anyway, I was out of town last week travelling and under water all weekend, so I missed out on a lot of things.
1. Charlie Sheen.
Wow. I refuse to believe any of this is legit. I think he and CBS knows how much Two and a Half Men is lampooned by everyone for being a shitty show that caters to the lowest common denominator and that watching that show regularly is akin to having brain herpes. I think they crafted this elaborate ruse to rope the cynical viewer in so as to capture all audiences. All of the stupid people who were already watching will continue watching, everyone else will tune in to see how Chuck Lorre writes himself out of this one. Combine that with an inevitable book or movie coming out with Charlie Sheen – VIRAL MARKETING ALERT!
Anyway, it’s entertaining as hell, but I don’t buy it for one second. People are already getting tired of “winning” and “tiger blood”. The shtick will die when it turns into the next SNL bit and everything will return to normal.
2. Spring Training
Spring training has sprung. We’re all watching the Rangers with baited breathe. Will they do a good job? Will Michael Young turn to cancer? Can CJ hold up the rotation? Will Colby repeat? Will Neftali Feliz make a good starter or are we “Joba Chamberlain-ing” him? Kind of good to hear baseball be at the top of everyone’s sports brains in Dallas in March. Great for the Rangers, but the Mavs are getting kind of ignored, which sucks.
3. Pluckers opened near me.
Not really much else to say, short of the fact that my wife and I are already regulars.
Anything else? No? Good. Talk to you tomorrow.
Growing older: this is something that is often looked upon with large, fear filled eyes. Most people seem to look at the drawbacks, the questions, the……. negative parts of growing older. When should I have a family? Will my body hold up? I can't keep up anymore. Things of that nature. While some of those things are true, there a lot of really good things about growing older as well. As I approach turning 30 years old, I'm tired of all that negativity, let's talk about some of the great things about being a late 20s early 30s guy in 2011. Let's talk about some of those. So here's another list (what? Did you do a list yesterday? What are you, list man from listatinia?) That I like to call:
Big’s best parts of Olddom.
Experience
This one is almost no-brainer. Just being alive longer, exposing yourself to different situations, gives you an edge over people who haven't been in them. The experience that you have can be anything. How many fender bender's have I been in over the past seven years? Zero. The seven years before that? At least eight. And this can all stems from the fact that I’m just driving more. It has made me a better driver, and I've been in more driving situations to know how to react when something negative does happen, so I can avoid said accident.
Experience also gives you the ability to give good advice. Talking to a 24-year-old who just got out of college and is chasing his dream, you can literally help him with some sage wisdom that you learned just a few short years ago.
Let's not discount the experience that you gain in the art of courting and pleasing the opposite sex. I saw a comic that I couldn't agree more with when he said, and I'm paraphrasing here, while the libido of the 19-year-old may be stronger than mine, I'm like a well-trained sniper who can one-shot kill from 300 yards, and he is like a baby with a Tommy gun. Sure you shoot more bullets, but hitting the target for you is almost accidental, mine is a precision strike with deadly accuracy.
The arts.
I've always been a fan of the arts, I was in theater my younger days, I played in the high school band as well as taught myself guitar in college, and while I personally have very little artistic ability when it comes to the visual arts, they fascinate me nonetheless.
That said with the more experience you gain, the different emotions you encounter, and the more research you can do that only comes with age, truly gives you more respect and admiration for all of them. How do you truly understand loss never lost someone, I can you understand exploration if you yourself have never explored? Questions like “am I doing the right thing?” “Is this the best I can do?” or “why did this happen?” Helps give depth and meaning to artists like Dégas, Shakespeare, or the dude who wrote “alligator rock.”
Music
Speaking of music, this might be my favorite part of growing older. While there's no question that popular music is for the young, artist like Lady Gaga, Bruno Marrs, and Katy Perry are all talented in their own right, and I can even enjoy some of their song stylings, my ability to fall in love with a pop act may be nonexistent nowadays.
And I've never been one to preach things that you often hear “music aficionados” say. Things like “the radio doesn't play good music,” “the bigger the band gets the more water down their sound is,” and my personal favorite “oh so-and-so sold out, and is just doing it for the money.” I don't say those things not because they are necessarily true, because to a degree they all are, just not in the negative connotation that they are most often used, no I don't say those things because to me music is such a personal choice, and depends heavily on your influences, emotions, and more importantly personal taste. If your brain hears Britney Spears’ “If you Seek Amy” and it sparked joy and excitement inside of you, me telling you that you're wrong, and you shouldn't feel that way, is one of the most destructive things that I could do.
So with all my preaching done then, and explain why growing older I enjoy music more. The more time you have to explore things, and try new things, the more often you will find something fantastic that you didn't really even know existed. This has been my experience with music as of late. Diving into genres and sub genres of music lead you to find new and exciting things. The whole alt-country scene (Whiskey town, Casey Anderson), led me to the alt country rock scene (Lucero, Sun Volt), which led me to the indie rock scene (MGMT, Death Cab), which led me to the East Coast indie rock scene (Gaslight Anthem, Airborn Toxic Event, LCD SoundSystem) and who knows where it will go next.
Another great thing about all of this, is most of these bands, or least bands like them, will come through Dallas, and play venues that are not the AAC, or Verizon, or the Yellow Pages, big arena type places. You might catch a band at the double wide, or dada, or aidars saloon, where you can have a cold beer, a shot of whiskey, and stand back and listen to music.
And that brings me to the last point I want to talk about
Drinking
drinking is a double edged sword as you grow older. It's very true that bouncing back from a hard night of boozing becomes more difficult older you get. Not to mention the fear that comes with overindulging, for some reason a DWI is far less scary at the age of 22 that is a 29. While getting blackout drunk, and puking everywhere was sometimes a goal to some people in our younger days, now it's kind of looked down upon. More so by yourself and other people.
All that said, drinking still kicks ass as you get older. You can enjoy a good buzz more without needing to get “wasted”. Some people have a little more money(not me), so they can enjoy a finer spirits. Pitchers of Miller lite are replaced with bottles of seasonal Sam Adams, or even gasp, a glass of red wine. It's not as strange anymore to see a middle-aged man with a martini, or a glass of scotch, as it would be if you saw younger man do it.
I could probably go on little bit longer, hell I didn't even get into sports, but as I look down and see this is already over 1000 words, I'm going to Just end it with this.
Getting older, as all things in life, has its positives and negatives, it ebbs and flows, it has its hills and valleys, and I try and take it upon myself when I am in that valley, not only look behind me and say “look up great that hill was,” but look in front of me and say “look how great that hill is going to be.”
This and the Nerdist are probably the two podcasts I listen to the most. When I say the most a mean almost daily. I'll pop
one of these two all my speakers when I'm getting ready in the morning, or when I'm working out, when I'm playing a videogame that doesn't require sound.
The BS report is hosted by Bill Simmons, a columnist for ESPN.com, who writes mostly about the NFL, the NBA, and anything Boston sports related. He's a big pop-culture fan, especially pop culture of the late 80s early 90s. He's a big fantasy fan, he plays fantasy baseball fantasy football and even talks about fantasy basketball every once and a while. His show is a mix of entertainment and sports, with guests like Adam Corolla, Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel on the entertainment side and Mark Stein, Mike Lombardi, and Ric Bucher on the sports side.
He is extremely entertaining and I cannot recommend him enough. If for no other reason than to hear him and Dave Jacoby talk about the real world Road rules challenge. Pure gold
It's called The Nerdist due to the website that came before it that Hardwick runs, and Hardwick's philosophy that every body nerds out over something, whether it's comedy, video games, movies, or even food. Because of this show, I've started following different comedians, watching different television shows (like Dr. who), and all in all becomes a much more rounded nerd. Love it.
I know it's from NPR, but before you start with the whole “there's big pushing his liberal agenda” bit, here me out. This is a great little podcast that involves interviews and reviews of both pop-culture and the arts. Terry Gross is the host of the show and usually puts out one about every week. Recent interviews were with James Franco Natalie Portman, and Tom Hooper who was the director of the King speech. If you’re into hip hop at all, go find the interview with Jay Z. Great stuff.
Comedian Scott Aukerman host this little podcast, and brings with him a lot of his buddys from the world of “alternative comedy” which is a bullshit term, but that’s the label most of the have. Guys like Andy Richter, Sarah Silverman, Zach Galifianakis, Michael Ian Black, Adam Scott, and Paul F Thompson. If you dig those types of comedians, you’ll dig this show.
This is a series that the BBC did called a history of the world in 100 objects. It's 100 different podcasts that last about 15 minutes each, and each one focuses on one object and uses that object to explain the time period from which it came.
To be honest this is a podcast that I've yet to start listening to, but one that I'm very interested in. The tagline for this is "all the psychology you need to know in just enough to make you dangerous." I've been on a bit of a what makes your brain tick kick lately, and this is just a part of it. Topics of this podcast include: mindful sleep mindful dreams, a psychiatrist most bizarre case studies, and exploring behavioral economics. I know this will be everybody's cup of tea, but I thought my included in this list.
Don’t know who Gordon is, but this is definitely how our readers feel about me.
There will be a Brown Out next week on the blog, as I’m not going to be in town and will not have a means with which to blog.
Pray that Big makes his return…or at least goes YouTube on your asses.
HahChickapaTahWooHeeNahNah!
Serve me my coffee, keep your political opinions to yourself.
I remember being in college. A) I’m not that old and B) college was a memorable experience. Now, I wasn’t a big partier, and my life’s goal wasn’t re-creating “Animal House”, but I wasn’t the depressed college kid who spent night alone staring at the wall because I’d gone from little pond to ocean of people. I was just a regular, non exceptional, one of 50,000 students at Texas.
My goal in college was basically to work my ass off to get a job that would provide the means to live my life the way I wanted it. If I wanted to eat Velociraptor omelets sprinkled with diamonds to make my doo doo sparkle, then I’d have to work for it, simple equation. I never really paid any attention to causes or politics, and if you’ve been to Texas, then you know that’s damn near impossible to do.
Anyway, I always made a point to read the daily newspaper and read the editorials as well as walk by the West Mall because I was guaranteed an interesting protest or awkwardly social cause. I still make a point to read the campus newspaper online and follow along with comments, and now that I’m a ways away from college life, I’ve affirmed by simple belief.
College kids are stupid because they’ve got too much time and independence.
Think about it. A lot of college students are in college to find out what they want to do for the rest of their lives. It’s their first time away from home, and most of them have a certain sense of financial non-responsibility. Either it’s parental support, scholarship or student loan combined with a part time job. (I’m sure everyone who read this blog had to work 40 hours weeks and study 50 hours a week because they put themselves through school, and I’m just a spoiled brat who got in on scholarship, parental support and a part time job. I guess I’m spoiled then. First world problems!)
Anyways, without any real fiscal responsibility and whirling in a general studies atmosphere with no supervision, I think college students find themselves in the enviable position to be able to glom on to current events. So, you’ll have a group of thousands of college students protesting and trying to make arguments about how immigration reform should happen and taxes shouldn’t be raised and this state senator is doing this and this state senator is doing that. They’ll write impassioned please for why student government matters and why if you don’t act now, the world is going to end. They’ll think that this is there chance to recreate the 60’s where protests matters and social mores were challenged and things changed. I remember at commencement, we had the Secretary of the Treasury speak and a bunch of student tried to interrupt him by stripping their gowns and screaming “No Blood for Oil!” over and over again.
These kids pay little to no taxes and contribute nothing to society short of keeping vintage clothing stores open, and I’m supposed to give a shit what they think? Pardon me if the voices I choose to listen to are the voices of people who are living in the real world and have real world problems. People who support families, pay mortgages/rent and bills, pay taxes. Sure, there are many people in college doing those things, but $10 says they’re not the ones politicking and protesting because those people have to make it to work and then make it home.
Anyway, if you’re a college kid, spend your time enjoying college. Discover what you love to do. Get drunk on a weekday. Meet people and find new hobbies. Don’t try and act smarter than you are and beg for people to listen to you when you have nothing relevant to say.
Not this one…
I have an admission, and it’s simply that I’m terrified of online activity. Call me old fashioned, but I’ve always preferred to go to a store, physically touch items, and then purchase them from a sales person. Always have.
It’s got nothing to do with online security because there’s just as much safety in some 17 year old kid at Best Buy then there is in a 17 year old hacker being able to get into my computer/network and get my information. You can argue the ability to get to it is easier, but in the end, if it’s going to happen to you, it’s going to happen to you, the best you can do is protect your shit.
No, the reason that I’m “against” buying things online is simply that I don’t trust the other end of the transaction. When I go to a store, I can see the object I’m buying. I can touch it, I can turn it around, I can see what’s there and what I’m getting. Online, you don’t know if you’re getting the product or a box with bricks. Does this make me sound like a 60 year old man? Well, you damn kids and your internet should know that by now. I just learned “LOL” didn’t mean “Lots Of Love”. I never claimed to be smart, my wife married me because she can bounce a quarter off my ass.
Anyway, over the holidays this year, I took the not-so-novel approach of buying all my gifts via Amazon. Holy shit, did you guys know this place existed? I thought all you bought was books, but no, you can buy anything you want on there. Hell, I bought a kidney! A REAL LIFE HUMAN FUCKING KIDNEY! (I did not buy a kidney). Anyway, ever since getting a Kindle (that’s right, I’m a better person than you), my obsession with Amazon has grown further. Now, I don’t feel like going anywhere (more than I used to…it ain’t called the Fortress of Solitude for nothing) because I can just get it on Amazon and have it shipped in 2 days time. My shoulder visibly slump when I realize I need something now because it requires me to have human interaction.
How fucking sad is that? I’m an anti-social person as it is, and now I don’t even want to go to the store to buy stuff. Anyway, my point is that the internet has allow shut-ins like me to completely disconnect from the real world and never leave the comfort of their own homes. I’m not quite sure this is a good thing. Now, for my next discovery, did you guys know that you can buy music on the internet too? There’s this cool thing called iTunes…
Image courtesy of Deadspin….and satan
It happened last night…I guess technically it’s supposed to be official today. In a 15 player, 4 draft pick, $6 MM swap across New York, Minnesota and Denver, Carmelo Anthony is headed to the Big Apple to team up with Amare Stoudemire. This whole thing stunk of “the Decision” and this shift of players turning into GM’s and controlling free agency is becoming a real pain in the ass.
“But, team’s with two superstars is completely normal”
That’s a statement I completely agree with. I think it’s more than reasonable and possible to put a team together that pairs up a “Batman & Robin” with a Commissioner Gordon on the side with the rest of the Gotham City police force. (For my example, let’s stick to the classics – no need for Barbara Gordon or the Birds of Prey, shall we?) In the “modern” era of basketball you had a main superstar, a complimentary star in the second tier, a third star in the second tier and role players. Even the “Super Teams” might have had a bunch of big names, but those were fading, aging stars, never big time guys in their primes.
This started going South with the Celtics.
Not Parrish, McHale and Bird. I mean the current Celts, Garnett, Pierce and Allen. Remember, the Celtics were a lottery team putting their hopes on Al Jefferson and Paul Pierce? Then in one hour at the draft, the Celtics turned into Pierce, Allen, Garnett and Rondo. Turned around and won a title. Then Kobe got mad. Said trade me or surround me. Kupchak and Wallace made the deal – the Lakers turned into Kobe, Gasol and Ariza – the next year turning Ariza into Artest.
I think those still followed suit with superstar, second tier, third tier, role players. It dipped its toe into “hey, wait, that’s a shit ton of superstars”, but it wasn’t anything anyone really saw as players organizing their own teams. It was the GM’s and coaches who were stockpiling, and that’s their job.
Then came “The Decision”. I’m not going to rehash this, but when James, Bosh and Wade organized themselves to convene in Miami and make it happen, you knew the game had changed.
So, how does this apply to Carmelo Anthony? He takes the entire first half of the season, holding Denver hostage, wanting money AND demanding that he get traded to New York. New Jersey was next door, and they’re moving to Brooklyn. They had the best package available for Denver, but, no, Melo would only go if it was the Knicks. So, you’ve got 2 parts: Melo and Amare. Who’s the third? Simple – look to New Orleans. A franchise that’s out of money and being run by the league that’s threatening to eliminate them. That’s going to setup a dispersion draft. Now, hark back to Carmelo Anthony’s wedding this summer and Chris Paul saying that he, Melo and Amare should play together and follow suit of Miami.
Whether we like it or not, CP3 is going to join those guys in New York, and we’ll have player-controlled franchises in NY and Miami. It’s only matter of time before Chicago follows suit. When the league “runs out” of superstars, will we see a shift back to team ball and the Pistons/Spurs teams of the early 00’s? Time will tell.
Went on a big trip to Lake Tahoe this weekend with 9 other friends. There wasn’t any big “thing” that we were celebrating, just all 10 of us have our own lives and we don’t get to spend time together as “just guys”, so it was a trip to re-wind the clock about 7-10 years.
I have two main observations : 1) I take back ever defending AT&T because I totally understand why anyone West of the Rockies hates the services. 2) Talk big all you want to, but we aren’t in college anymore.
So, quick note on AT&T. How about throwing up another tower or 10 on the West Coast? I couldn’t make calls or send text messages the entire weekend. It wasn’t just my phone because the other guys that have AT&T had the same issues. In fact, I did a bit of a ping test when I had service. You know what tower my cell phone was using for service? A tower in Seattle, WA. I was in Lake Tahoe, 100 miles from Sacramento, 45 miles from Reno, but the service tower was IN SEATTLE. That’s bad planning.
Now, the main point, we’re not young guys anymore. I knew that, but it takes a weekend like this for me to be reminded. We all had a lot of fun this weekend, so it isn’t a complaint at all. It was great being with the guys again and cramming 10 of us in a hotel room literally having fart competitions and making a hotel run out of towels. It was a bit sad when I realized that everyone was down and out by midnight. You know what, “sad” is totally the wrong word. It’s eye opening.
Gone are the days where we could go to the bars till 2 am, come home and after-party till 4 or 5. Gone are the days where you talk about all your big plans. Gone are the days where you wonder if you’ll meet your future wife or the next morning’s mistake that night.
Now, I’m not saying that I miss those things, but the last time the 10 of us were together like this, no one was married, no one had kids, everyone was in school and weighed about 25 pounds less. When you all get together again, it’s a little funny that a few of us that didn’t ski still spent the day drinking, but instead of “partying”, we were talking about how much fun it’ll be to take our wives up here, 1 guy was most concerned about finding the right gift for his daughter, and 1 guy kept saying that he can’t wait to bring his stepson up here because it would crack him up to see his stepson lose his shit when he saw the snow. See? Not bad, just different. Keep in mind, we had these conversations at the same time one guy stole another guy’s camera and took close up pictures of his ball bag…so, maybe the more things change, the more they stay the same.
When we re-joined as a group, it was to eat dinner. Sure, the plan was to go to the bar and drink, but inevitably, you’d start seeing yawns, which led to more yawns, which led to people dropping off, and then, by midnight, everyone was back in the room and either already asleep or sitting on the balcony.
I’m not saying that I miss partying, or that I wish we could turn the clock back. What I am saying is that it doesn’t dawn on you how much time passes and how much you have grown as a person in your own life until you put yourself back in a position that you used to be. It isn’t a bad thing to grow up, it is a bad thing to wish you were still young, or act like you’re still young. If you spend the entire time “wishing” you were still a kid, or acting like you are still a 22 year old, then I think it says something about how you aren’t happy with how things are today.
This weekend was awesome. I say that with no sarcasm or exception. It was fun, and it was a blast to hang out with the guys again. The fact that I was happiest when I walked into my house and saw my wife and dog tells me that I’ve got the life I dreamt about as a kid.
See? I told you asses that the “I’m happy” posts aren’t funny and make me sound like a haughty jackass. Oh, and snow douches are lake douches on ice.
I’d say talk about this subject has died down, but I don’t know if it really has or not. Seems like you can’t see a headline on the news now a day without some kid killing themselves over being bullied in school. Movie, music and television industries came together for an “it gets better” campaign to let kids know that bullying stops and things get better.
Any of this ringing a bell?
Well, given the proliferation of the Gaga and shows like “Glee”, I feel like people have gone a bit overboard on the bullying thing. (Side note on “Glee”: it’s been on the air for 2 seasons. The show has had 113 songs on the the Billboard Top 100. That breaks Elvis’s record. No original songs. Breaks Elvis Presley’s record. Think about that. Check your blood pressure. Exactly.)
It’s come to a point now that people are hiding behind the word “bully” or “bully-ism” as often as people who use “racist” and “racism” as a defense. Let’s get one thing straight, there’s a HUGE difference between the two, and anyone who tries to equate them is dealing with an extreme case of one (bully) or eye-rolling case of the other (racism). I do feel somewhat qualified because I’ve experienced both. You don’t grow up in a small town in Texas as an Indian guy without hearing some racism and you don’t have greasy hair, coke bottle glasses and a pube-stache for 17 years without getting bullied in school. Shocking, I know.
You might remember hearing the story of the “fight” between “Glee” creator, Ryan Murphy, and Kings of Leon member…um…King Leon. (Another side note on “Glee”: Ryan Murphy created “Nip/Tuck”, one of the best shows I’ve ever seen that pushed every boundary possible on television. Now he’s doing “Glee”. Le sigh.) (Side note on Kings of Leon: I do not like them.) Anyway, King Leon said that Murphy couldn’t use the song “Use Somebody” on the show, and Murphy unleashed a tirade about how King Leon didn’t support a show that was going to end bullying, which only mean that King Leon was a bully himself.
What? Isn’t this on par with John Wiley Price screaming “racism” at the term “Black Hole”? Let’s get a grip people and save the terms for when they actually need to be used.
Look, I get it. Due to the proliferation of the internet and cell phones and the decreasing intelligence of people, kids set themselves up for ridicule and embarrassment. Thank God, You Tube wasn’t around when we were in school else god knows what shit I’d still be cover my eyes about. Still, I don’t think that kids teasing and mocking kids has gotten any worse than it ever was. Maybe I’m wrong, after all I haven’t stepped foot in a school in a long time (insert joke here).
Cards on the table, I had an idea where this post was going, but it kind of fizzled and died. I think you can grasp what I’m going for here. Stop overreacting with the term “bully”. Kids are generally ass holes, so they’re going to be ass holes to each other. Glee will be the downfall of our society. Kings of Leon sucks. Thank you and God Bless America!
I get it, you think you’re better than me because I watch pro wrestling. My excuse is, I’ve been watching since I was 7 years old, what’s your sad excuse for watching “The Bachelor”? Anyway, I’m not here to debate with you why I watch pro wrestling. I am here to talk about last night and the 15 minutes that changed the face of pro wrestling.
Wrestlemania takes place the first weekend in April. Normally, the WWE will spend from the beginning of January building the storylines to culminate in Wrestlemania, the WWE’s Super Bowl. The past few years have mainly seen the usual suspects feuding with each other (Cena, Orton, etc.) and the Undertaker extending his winning streak, most recently having the 2 best matches I’ve seen in 20 years with Shawn Michaels, ultimately ending HBK’s career.
Thing is, storylines have gotten a bit vanilla and complacent. Bad guy vs. Cena, Cena prevails. Done. Sure, you had some great characters like a CM Punk or the Miz who could work a stick and the ring and get heat from the crowd, but the pops came from the new segment, the PG crowd. Everyone remembers the wrestling boom of the 90’s – the Attitude Era. Cussing, blood, heavy and overt sexual content – these were the calling cards of the Stone Cold Steve Austin’s, Mankinds and DX. When the boom ended, the WWE shifted gears into PG programming. Gone were the beer-swilling, middle finger throwing foul-mouthed heroes, in came the clean-cut, all-American, love the troops, hustle, loyalty, respect John Cena.
And it worked. A new audience was grown. Wrestling is extremely popular, mainly with kids and not so much with adults – and that’s because that’s the demo they’re going after. The adult crowd was turned off – like going from watching internet porn to watching Skinemax – you don’t quite get the same response that you got before. Where were the guys you wanted to hate and the wanted to hate you? Where were the guys that were so bad that they were actually the good guys? What happened to the guys that could get you so worked up on the microphone, it didn’t matter that they sucked when it came to actual wrestling?
The game changed last night. Finally, the Rock came home.
The Rock announced as the official host of Wrestlemania, and in 15 minutes, he kicked off the most exciting speculative set of “what’s going to happen” since WCW Starcade in 1997 (that’d be the one that saw me and Big jumping around a buddy’s living room for a solid 20 minutes because Sting beat Hogan. yes we both had girlfriends, no they weren’t imaginary).
In 15 minutes, the Rock gave heed to the following:
Ahh, now we have the most intriguing part. John Cena is the modern day Hulk Hogan. The eternal good guy. The role model for kids. The guy that the WWE pushes in EVERY marketing campaign. Cena = WWE. The Rock came out and called Cena out on everything that the older wrestling fans hate…and the ENTIRE crowd love it. There were no boos. There were no Cena cheers. So, it begs the question, is now the time for Vince to deliver the biggest turn since Hogan joined the black and white? Will Cena turn heel and face the Rock in the mother of all dream matches at Wrestlemania?
Makes sense – think about it. HBK goes into the HOF. Seamus wins the Elimination Chamber takes on the Miz for the title. Orton v. CM Punk. Del Rio v Edge. Undertaker retires Triple H. You’ve got your top 9 names players matched up and you biggest star is without opponent. Enter the Rock. Vince played his card masterfully. I think this is Vince’s swan song. This will be his Wrestlemania to put the WWE back on top for good, and from there he will officially hand the reigns over to Triple H and Stephanie.
Either way, the WWE has done something that has been lacking for damn near 5 years. The took predictability and punched it in the nuts. Every show is a must watch from now through April 2nd.
I hope that’s doesn’t constitute underage content
So, today is Valentine’s Day. I’m more convinced now, as a married man, that Valentine’s Day is something that has been created for single people that are dating. I tell my wife I love her everyday and do something romantic once a day (I’ll wipe the toilet seat with my sock, put the seat down or spray air freshener…WITHOUT REMINDER!) so the fact that there’s an entire day devoted to that is preposterous.
So, why do we have Valentine’s Day? Well, there’s the obvious case that “Hallmark totally created this holiday because it wants to boost sales. I mean, this day is better known for a massacre and has nothing to do with romance.” We get it, no one asked you out in high school. Honestly though, why does this holiday exist and who celebrates it?
Two reasons:
For men: single women hate Valentine’s Day. Given the ambiance of the day and décor, women are bombarded by the fact they are single and don’t get to “enjoy” the festivities. Prime. Hunting. Time. I’d argue more ugly men get laid on this weekend compared to any other time because women are desperate and will look past a gut (OR PERHAPS HE’S PREGNANT!?! BEAR = SOCRATES) and they’ll end up taking a guy home and getting cupid’s arrow put all up in her valentine.
For women: men who are playing free agency hate valentine’s day (note the difference between this and single. these are guys who are dating a woman, but aren’t really that serious about it. I believe in common vernacular this is “talking” to someone) . it’s like being franchised by an NFL team. The guy doesn’t want to be locked down, but the woman can apply the pressure of a Valentine’s day to lock him down for another solid month or so. No guy, at least in his right mind, is dickish enough to dump a woman on Valentine’s Day.
Either way, Valentine’s Day is like any other day of the year that’s been designated as a “holiday”. It’s a simple time for you to look at the person you’re with and remind them what they mean to you. We take for granted how day-to-day our routines become and the people we interact with. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be specifically for your significant other. If you step back, look at your daily life and really think about the one or two people who you interact with every day and have a positive impact and make you feel good about something, THAT Is the person you should take a special second and tell them Thank You. If it’s someone close enough, just tell ‘em you love them, you don’t have to propose…(make sure you know them, don’t tell the coffee barista you love them, they frown on that.)
Point is, don’t look at the day as some uber-sappy, “make you feel bad for being single” type holiday. Just find the people that make you happy, let them know what they mean to you and tell em you appreciate them being there. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.
Tell me that’s not the most intriguing title for a post you’ve ever read.
The wife has had to work at the office late this week, so I’ve been getting home, taking care of the dogs and getting a shower out of the way before she gets into the house. Normally, when I take a shower, it’s a fairly quick ordeal, take shower, dry off, throw on some clothes and bada beep bada boop, I’m done and on the couch.
Yesterday, though, when I stepped out of the shower, I actually took a look at myself in the mirror. Seriously? That’s what women and gay men are after? It looks like I have Gonzo in a leg lock or something…not that I have a blue, furry penis. I know what you’re thinking a) why the hell are you looking at yourself in the mirror and b) that’s mighty cocky (PUN!) for you to think that women and gay men are attracted to you. First of all, everyone look at themselves in a mirror, it’s the god damned purpose of having one. Second, I’m talking generalities, and though I don’t exactly have a memory bank full of other penises to compare to, I’m going to assume that male bodies are the same…except for black guys, “Any Given Sunday” pretty much proved why white guys enslaved black guys: penis envy. (Kizzle just went and Netflixed “Any Given Sunday” and cleared her Saturday)
Anyways, back to the subject. Maybe that’s the proof that a man is straight, being horribly disgusted by his own penis. It isn’t some sort of body disillusionment syndrome. It’s the simply confusion over how women and gay men actually look at one and think, “boy, that’s one good looking penis, I’m going to put that inside my body”. I mean, how bat shit crazy is that sentence by itself?
I don’t think the reverse it true, though. A woman’s vagina is a beautiful thing. (Most of them, let’s just exclude the ones hidden by fupa rolls or the ones that look like someone overstuffed an open faced pastrami reuben.) I think that’s agreed upon by men and women. No one looks at a vagina and says “yuck”. Take a look at a penis and you think someone made a miniature model of the worm where they hid the Millennium Falcon in Star Wars.
It’s just baffling that for millennia people have been attracted to each other and women have evolved themselves enough to make their lady parts attractive all the way around and the best that men have done is decide that the turtleneck hoodie wasn’t working anymore. Oh, and before some super awesome guy chimes in with a “hey man, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, my dick is huge and women love my big unit and they’re lucky to see it let alone touch it.”, let me just get out ahead of you and say, okay you’re the anomaly big man, enjoy your fleshlight.
I’ve made no secret of my love/hate relationship with Twitter. Very simply, I like Twitter when I use it, and I hate everyone else that does. See? Simple enough. Anyway, one of the funniest aspects that I find about Twitter is the obvious misconception people have that since they have the ability to technically communicate with everyone, it doesn’t mean that you can really communicate with everyone. Lemme splain.
Michelle Beadle is on Twitter. Michelle Beadle is the new poster child for every man’s fantasy woman. In the span of a few months she’s dusted every other sports chick and reigns supreme as the queen of sports hot. She’s to sports what Olivia Munn is to nerd culture. Apparently, she broke her foot or something last night and posted a picture of herself in the hospital. You can see for yourself at her feed: http://twitter.com/espn_michelle
Now, here’s the example of the comedy of Twitter. Read the comments. How far did you get before you rolled your eyes? Was it is “Love your pretty little feet?” or “be brave Prettiest One” or “even in a hospital your [sic] still beautiful”?
Let me clarify something for all the guys out there. NO WOMAN WILL LOOK AT YOUR TWITTER FEED AND DROP HER PANTIES FOR YOU. YOU’RE NOT THAT GREAT. I highly doubt women are on twitter waiting for some clever guy in Cleveland whom she’s never met to tell her she looks beautiful and that is going to be her siren song to give up her life to come fuck you. Maybe I’m wrong, I’ve never used Twitter as a dating medium.
All I’m saying is, the more of these comments you read and one-way interactions you see (God only knows how porn stars and Twitter have yet to combine their forces in the strangest episode of Captain Planet yet), the sadder it gets. I can only imagine some guy sitting in front of his computer with his Twitter follower list full of women he’s never met as he’s messaging “your beautiful” (grammar error on purpose) hoping he gets one single ping back.
Actually, I take it all back. It isn’t funny at all. Now that I’ve typed it all out, all these guys need is a hug and a hooker. NEW CHARITY CREATED!
Peace out, Arlington
So, this has been teased for the past few months now, and I think the acquisition of Beltre pretty much pushed him over the edge. Michael Young is now saying he wants to be traded away from the Texas Rangers because he no longer trusts management. Management says that he has simply changed his mind and decided he no longer wants to accept the everyday DH role.
I can see this from both sides, and I can see both sides having at least some ground to stand on.
Michael Young is the face of the franchise. For the past 11 years, he’s been here, toiling through the Texas heat, through Hicks, through John Hart, through Buck, you name it. He’s maintained he wanted to be here, wanted to the the captain, wanted to be the face of the team. He was active in the local community (as active as Dallas would let him be…remember, no one knew who the Rangers were until about August of 2010?). He learned under A-Rod, moved for Elvis and never made a peep about being upset. The club finally turns the corner, makes the historic run, and he’s asked to step further back from the limelight and become a DH. Michael Young feels that the club has finally become what he hoped it would be, and now the club no longer wants him.
It’s like something out of a bad teen movie. Guys dates girl who isn’t that hot, but is really great to be around. Girl discovers the gym and fashion and makeup. Girl becomes really hot and leaves the guy for greener pastures. Guy feels heartbroken and left behind. Michael Young feels jilted and is looking to nip it in the bud and leave early.
The Rangers, however, don’t exactly feel like Young is what he used to be. He didn’t produce in the WS, and he was a liability at the hot corner. If the Rangers brass feel like they are going to stay a competitor, they feel like Young is a liability that his 200 hits a season doesn’t really balance out. It’s why they made the moves for Beltre and Napoli. Either Mike Young gets on board or they trade him for what he’s worth. Nolan Ryan and JD have proven that they’ll put the club in front of individual players every time. It’s why Lee isn’t here. It’s why CJ making outrageous demands next winter won’t be listened to. It’s taking a “team first” philosophy and putting it before the “player first” mentality.
As a fan, the question remains, what do we want to believe and see? Do we want to see and believe in the players that have been there for US for 11 years? Do we want to trust management that brought us *this* close to the promised land last year? Do you trust the man in the laundry or the laundry itself?
A-Rod is stupid and A-Rodg is stupider. We need some new nicknames for Aaron Rodgers.
Given that the man’s a wrestling fan, let’s just rob and steal for him, shall we?
Other possibilities;
Add yours in the comments.
Besides the obvious.
I watched “Big Fan” when I got home, and this is definitely a movie that I’d recommend to anyone who a) enjoys sports b) understands rabid sports fandom and c) listens to sports radio. It’s streaming on NetFlix and it’s only about 1.5 hours. It’s got Patton Oswalt and Michael Rapaport. Why aren’t you leaving the blog and going to NetFlix to add this to your queue?
Anyway, I’m not going to give a full blown summary here, but Patton Oswalt plays a rabid New York Giants fan who’s favorite player is the team’s star linebacker. He spends all day listening to the local sports radio station and is an avid caller to the late night show. He gets his ass kicked by the team’s favorite player and spends the rest of the movie wrestling between whether he should press charges and hurt the Giants by suspending their best player, or if he, in the most literal sense, “take one for the team” and say nothing.
It’s a good movie and I highly recommend it. If I’m way behind the times here, and everyone has already seen it, then I’m late the party and I want to talk about this and the final season of Lost.
Oh, and the Super Bowl was last night. The game was, I thought, great. I couldn’t really tell what was going on because everyone around felt it was a social hour rather than a football game watching party. That’s not Carl B’s fault, I thought his house and setup was actually pretty ideal for the party and I had fun and enjoyed myself. I can tell you all about being pregnant, fashionable work pants and how awesome one of our friends is because he can totally tell the difference between Grey Goose and Ketel One and you’re totally a fag if you can’t do that…brah. I can’t tell you of any masterful Joe Buck bon mots or Troy Aikman concussion moments. I did have a direct view of the tv though, and for that, I thank you, Carl.
