So there I was…me and the mountain

Went on a big trip to Lake Tahoe this weekend with 9 other friends.  There wasn’t any big “thing” that we were celebrating, just all 10 of us have our own lives and we don’t get to spend time together as “just guys”, so it was a trip to re-wind the clock about 7-10 years. 

I have two main observations : 1) I take back ever defending AT&T because I totally understand why anyone West of the Rockies hates the services. 2) Talk big all you want to, but we aren’t in college anymore.

So, quick note on AT&T.  How about throwing up another tower or 10 on the West Coast?  I couldn’t make calls or send text messages the entire weekend. It wasn’t just my phone because the other guys that have AT&T had the same issues.   In fact, I did a bit of a ping test when I had service.  You know what tower my cell phone was using for service?  A tower in Seattle, WA.  I was in Lake Tahoe, 100 miles from Sacramento, 45 miles from Reno, but the service tower was IN SEATTLE.  That’s bad planning.

Now, the main point, we’re not young guys anymore.  I knew that, but it takes a weekend like this for me to be reminded.  We all had a lot of fun this weekend, so it isn’t a complaint at all. It was great being with the guys again and cramming 10 of us in a hotel room literally having fart competitions and making a hotel run out of towels.  It was a bit sad when I realized that everyone was down and out by midnight.  You know what, “sad” is totally the wrong word.  It’s eye opening. 

Gone are the days where we could go to the bars till 2 am, come home and after-party till 4 or 5.  Gone are the days where you talk about all your big plans.  Gone are the days where you wonder if you’ll meet your future wife or the next morning’s mistake that night. 

Now, I’m not saying that I miss those things, but the last time the 10 of us were together like this, no one was married, no one had kids, everyone was in school and weighed about 25 pounds less.  When you all get together again, it’s a little funny that a few of us that didn’t ski still spent the day drinking, but instead of “partying”, we were talking about how much fun it’ll be to take our wives up here, 1 guy was most concerned about finding the right gift for his daughter, and 1 guy kept saying that he can’t wait to bring his stepson up here because it would crack him up to see his stepson lose his shit when he saw the snow.  See?  Not bad, just different.   Keep in mind, we had these conversations at the same time one guy stole another guy’s camera and took close up pictures of his ball bag…so, maybe the more things change, the more they stay the same.

When we re-joined as a group, it was to eat dinner. Sure, the plan was to go to the bar and drink, but inevitably, you’d start seeing yawns, which led to more yawns, which led to people dropping off, and then, by midnight, everyone was back in the room and either already asleep or sitting on the balcony.  

I’m not saying that I miss partying, or that I wish we could turn the clock back.  What I am saying is that it doesn’t dawn on you how much time passes and how much you have grown as a person in your own life until you put yourself back in a position that you used to be.  It isn’t a bad thing to grow up, it is a bad thing to wish you were still young, or act like you’re still young.  If you spend the entire time “wishing” you were still a kid, or acting like you are still a 22 year old, then I think it says something about how you aren’t happy with how things are today.  

This weekend was awesome. I say that with no sarcasm or exception. It was fun, and it was a blast to hang out with the guys again.  The fact that I was happiest when I walked into my house and saw my wife and dog tells me that I’ve got the life I dreamt about as a kid.  

See? I told you asses that the “I’m happy” posts aren’t funny and make me sound like a haughty jackass.  Oh, and snow douches are lake douches on ice.

Nude Music Friday Lite - Things I over heard at Girl Talk

This last weekend I went to go see a concert, if you can call it that, from an artist called girl talk. And even though it is motto is "I'm not a DJ" he pretty much basically is just a DJ. Now he is a very specific kind of DJ, but a DJ nonetheless. For those of you who don't know who girl talk is let me explain. Girl talk can mash up a Beatles backbeat with an Andre 3000 song, and then take that right into a Twisted Sister and Trina mash up. That sounds pretty insane, I know, but take a look at this video. The video explains it way more than I can with words.



allow me to also explain what this guy does at his "concerts." Up on stage there is DJ booth set up with a computer at the front of it instead of turntables. At the beginning of the show girl talk comes out dressed to the nines in a suit or something spiffy like that, gets on the microphone and says stuff like "Dallas are you ready" and another typical hype you up type stuff. Then he bends over and basically presses play on his laptop and plays his mix tape. (Which you can download for free here )(which is something I highly recommend you do, it is fan fucking tastic)

once the music is going, the lights get going, the lasers get going,(all that's missing was titties for it to be strip club) and everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY started dancing. This is where the girl talk show becomes something you would never expect it to be. No matter your level of intoxication, people who are around you, things you're wearing, you've just start dancing.

All that, you mix "hip or trendy music" with hip-hop, adding in a bunch of young people really cutting loose, booze, and random other narcotics, you get a pretty interesting crowd. Mostly white, mostly young, mostly well-to-do, basically mostly SMU kids. If it wasn't for the hip-hop, and "don't give a fuck" mentality, this would be hipster central.

So without further ado, here are the things that I heard at the girl talk concert.

Girl in our party walking up to where we were tailgating where we were listening to LCD sound system: “ohhh sound system, we gonna party tonight!”

Young kids next to us in the parking lot, wall taking a pull from a milk jug containing some green liquid: “I call this a green DRANK, it's like purple DRANK, but with Green apple schnapps”

exchange with young kids next to us in the parking lot:
Them : have y'all been here before?
US : yes (it was at the Palladium)
Them : can you smoke inside?
Us: no
Them : not even weed?
Us: no no, that's okay.
Them : Sweet

some dude dancing near us: "i haven't felt this good since fourloko was gone!"

while at the bar, waiting for a drink, ten of the 15 people (I counted) around me : “I wonder how much a jager bomb is?”

While leaving the concert, random girl: “I wonder if chet, or chaz are having people over tonight.”

All and all like I said it was a great time, but the young kids future douche factor was through the roof. Take that for what it's worth, the music was still great, the dancing was still insane, and I can't wait to go back next time.

An ode to Pizza

Hope you ate breakfast because this’ll make you hungry

You might remember that I already wrote my piece on sandwiches being the greatest food ever.  A close second, might be pizza.  Pizza, similar to that of the sandwich, is very simplistic, yet one of the most versatile food items out there.

People need to stop trying to trick up pizza and just stay on the classic front.  For example, what’s wrong with plain pizza cheese?  Nothing.  There’s absolutely no need to apply goat cheese to a pizza.  Come to think of it, there’s nothing appetizing about the goat, why in God’s name did we decide to treat it like a cow?   Same with crazy ass toppings.  There’s no such thing as a “gourmet” pizza, and there’s no need to have a toppings list the length of the dead sea scrolls. 

Crusts are a whole separate issue.  Crusts are great, but they shouldn’t be taken for more than they are.  The pie tin of pizza-dom.  Deep-dish, Chicago-style pizza is okay, when you’re in Chicago at the original.  Otherwise, you basically screwed up a lasagna and you’re trying to pass it off as pizza.  Nothing, absolutely nothing, tops the classic thin crust New York style pizza.   In fact, I’d go so far as to say that the only thing that separates the “high end” pizza joints from your run of the mill Pizza Huts and Domino’s is the quality of crust.

So, even though types of pizza, size of pizza and toppings of pizza are the most debated topic in the history of food, I will submit to you, the top 5 pizza combos on the planet (in no particular order).

1) Plain Cheese
2) Sausage and Mushroom
3) Ham and Pineapple
4) Onion and Jalapeno
5) Barbecue Chicken

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “where’s pepperoni?”  I’ll ask you, why have pepperoni when you can get sausage or ham?   See, pepperoni isn’t that great, it’s just a conditioned response from when we were kids.  We had two options, cheese or pepperoni.  That was it.  That’s carried over so much that we’re conditioned that pepperoni is a top choice, when I’d argue it really isn’t. 

I welcome your thoughts.

"Knocked the wind out of me, Yes he did!"

Happy MLK day.

G.R.O.S.S. Fight Club

This is the greatest video of all time, I know because I read Calvin and Hobbs as a kid so I can say that and you can't get mad at me if you disagree.

H/T : GorillaMask