As we here at the Big and the Brown love all things sports, fake or real, we know that we don't have all the knowledge of some of our peers. We gladly move aside when someone who is an expert in a certain field wants to put his/her two cents in. With that said, here is what should be a weekly post about wrestling from our wrestling guru.
In the style of Quick Hits, Rapid Punches, and all shorts El Blogador will take you for a quick beating. Now you'll have yo use your imagination for this....You, the reader are already beaten down by seeing a post from me so you're slumped in the corner. I am pumped and have my feet on the second rope with my junk not to far from your face and I will now drop 10 punches as the fans count out loud.
1. Apologies to Hard Body. After he was identified in my first post Georgia State Police arrested Hard Body Harrison for running a couple of houses where he had 8 women as sex slaves. Guess Hard Body needed money to by the other pant leg for his wrestling tights.
2. I have learned that Randy "Macho Man" Savage will be on the upcoming season of VH1's "Surreal Life". I can just picture it, a hot tub scene with Macho Man, Bridget the Midget, and Elizabeth Berkley (I don't know that they're on, but they're random enought to fit).
3. TNA is going to save WWE not Chris Jericho. Total Nonstop Action Wrestling is not that bad. They're creativity combined with older talent willing to work for something besides the evil empire of wrestling will force the WWE to freshen things up.
4. Brokeback 2: The Natue Boy and The Heartbreak Kid. If you saw this past Monday's RAW their interactions were only slightly homo, but HBK's ponytail and cowboy combined with Naitche's clingy hugs and shoulder massages it put it over the top.
5. Jericho has returned. It's great timing for the WWE with most of the talent gone. It's not good for Jericho because all he's got to work with is Randy Orton. That is until Triple H gets out of the doghouse. Then we'll see a great battle on the mic and in the ring.
6. Jericho Comment 2: Electric Boogaloo. He needs to grow his hair back. It kind of like when Bagwell had his massive goatee and chopped it off right before the season started he went from looking like man beast to looking like part of a man feast.
7. Santino Mirella has something. I'm just trying to make it to 10. The fans don't seem to be behind me on this.
8. Brock Lesnar: UFC Champion? If you have not heard he's changed his focus to MMA and the UFC picked him up after 1 official match. It'll be interesting to see where he goes, I say put him on TUF get some exposure without hurting the UFC PPV card. Or just wait til some other athletic event catches his attention, remember he quit WWE to go play in the NFL.
9. Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake said he turned down an offer to return to the WWE because he didn't like their lack of moral values and lack of wrestling in the ring. I don't think anyone is going to miss another 50-something lumbering around in the ring. Way to get you're name back in the buzz though Mr. Beefcake. and I raise the comment fist waive over head and look around the arena...
10. The Hogan Divorce. Oh my. Looks like at Wrestlemania we'll have a main event of Y2J (or KYJ as Sanchico, SanDiego, Santino Mirella called him) and Hulk. A kid in the klink, a wife to pay, and a daughter whose 2 years away from a photo spread, the guy is going to need to make money.
-El Blogadore
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2 comments:
Point 2: A "Bridget the Midget" reference is to be commended at all chances.
Point 3: TNA is that bad. It isn't 1997 anymore, but they sure make it feel that way. I give myself about 10 more years till I look like Scott Hall does now.
Point 4: Gayest. Scene. Ever.
Point 7: Santino Marellas is genius. He's as painfully "punny" as Jericho used to be. They just need to push him as a wrestler so he can be more active instead of making him a mid-card comedy act.
Point 10: He's got the "American Gladiator" money to look forward to, remember? However, if Wrestlemania is somehow "Flair and Hogan team up against Orton and Edge" or something like that, I quit.
my turn my turn!!
point 2, can we please have ron jeremy back in this house? You can look at mach and then big ron and see the same person, expcet one did steroids, the other did porn. Same guy.
point 3 - Well, after the execitement of seeing the westlers that i loved the past westle again, kinda, the TNA thing has got some good stuff under the headliners. AJ Styles, Peetie Williams, Chris Daniels, all have potental and are worth watching, and Christian Cage has become a star over there. If only they could get rid of that god awfull color guy.
punch 4- Creepy. the shoulder rubing? you really need that?
point 5 and 6 - i craked up when he did his me want title match with the pics. Cookie Monster is funny. And if looks way to much like bon jovi with his hair short.
punch 9 - I don't know why, but i loved the barber. I would love to see him come back in someway but not wrestle.
and punch 10, the one that made us all fall down, setting up the elblogadore finisher, "the writers block," Prediction is westlemania will be HHH vs Flair, winner gets a title shot, Edge vs. Undertaker for the world championship, Hogan vs. Batista, Shawn Michaels vs. Kennedy, and Matt Hardy vs. Umaga. Its gonna be great, kinda.
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