The Brown Five is (what will hopefully be) a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and causes his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) BCS Chaos
Kansas? Lost. LSU? Lost. ASU? Lost. Now we're looking at Missouri and West virginia in the...oh wait, each team has one more game to play. Are Oklahoma and Pittsburgh good enough to give Ohio State a walk through to the national championship? Probably. If that does happen, I know a certain manbearpig who's gonna be happy.
2) Texas repeats...their performance from last year.
K-State, Oklahoma, Texas A&M. One school that makes you scratch your head, and the two rivalry games. I'll say I'm dissapointed, but shocked? Not really. Texas has subpar coordinators. Greg Davis was lucky to find Vince Young to run the zone read, and he'll luck out again when Jon Chiles takes the helm. Texas has a new defensive coordinator each year, it's no wonder the Duane Akina finally got the job only to prove he doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.
A three loss season is a failure in Texas's books, so Mack needs to get his coordinators together or alumni (hello) are gonna start getting pissed.
3) Joshua Cribbs? Leon Washington?
Why is this a debate over the past weeks? Devin Hester is, far and away, the best special teams player in all of football. Go back and watch the Denver game, he's a force to be reckoned with and he alone will get the Bears back into the playoffs, not the sex cannon.
4) Auburn players are hated by dogs
Remember during the Auburn and Georgia game a few years ago, when "Uga", Georgia's loveable bulldog mascot (Get it? "Uga" = "U.G.A." = "University of Georgia") snapped when Auburn scored a touchdown and appeared to attach the Auburn player? Well it happened again, only this time a police dog at the Alabama and Auburn game decided to bite the hand of an Auburn player celebrating in the end zone. Go back and watch the video here.
5) Fuck Torii Hunter and Fuck the Angels
So, the Los Angeles Southern California Angels who watch The Hills came in at the last minute and dropped $90 million contract to sign Torii Hunter. Wait a minute, didn't they drop big money last year to sign GMJ? They didn't need a center fielder, let alone dropping $18 million a year on one. Are they worried about GMJ getting suspended for PHP (go alphabet soup!)? All in all, I'm kind of pissed and relieved at the same time...now the Rangers can look to the far east and a man named Fukudome.
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