Who am I and what am I doing here?

Hello, my name is Brown. You might remember me from such blogs as "MySpace: dearth of a nation, scourge of society" and "Human! The undiscovered white meat"

I used to write about fun musings and quips about observational life. I'd regale readers with stories about things I encountered. When Big and I started this thing, I decided my main focus would be sports.

Well, I'm about to get non sportsy on you.

Blog readers. Texas. America. World. I have something to tell you: I don't care.

Do I care how you feel about that? No. Why? Because, I don't care.

Almost everyone that knows me seems to understand that. Those that don't like to pretend that I care about things. Here's the secret, I don't.

Given the option of spending time with someone who wants me to give a damn about things or trying to masturbate to two Japanese women vomiting on each other, I'd say hand me the Jergens and tell Hiroki to stuff her finger down her mouth. Why? Besides the fact I love bulemic Asian women, it's simple, I don't care to make someone else think that I give a damn.

I spend my day working, sleeping and shitting, not necessarily in that order. I don't have the time to worry about other people be they friends, family or dead hookers, again, not necessarily in that order.

Now, sure, I do care about things. Those things are all self-centric. Is that egotistical? Probably. Do I care? No.

I also care about nachos. I love nachos. Can't get enough of them.

What I'm trying to say is this. Unless it pertains to me or directly affects me and my person, you might as well be talking to a wall. Am I listening? Nope. I'm actually sitting there wondering what I would do if I walked in on Sam Cassell cuddling with Vernon Maxwell in a Santa Claus suit. Why? I have no idea.

"But, Brown, we have to sit here and listen/read your thoughts and feelings! That's not fair. Why should we care?"

Exactly how the fuck do I know or why the fuck should I care? Tell me where it's written that life is fair or that I should give a damn.

I'm busy with things, and I can't post every day. Big's funny. Big cares. Big loves you. Enjoy that and quit bitching to me.



(None of the above was true, I actually do care)



(Not really, the part about nachos was true.)



(Asian women too)


(Not really)



(Really)