The Brown Five - 11/28/07

The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..

1) David Justice? HOF?
If I say the names David Justice, Tim Raines, Shawon Dunston, and Chuck Knoblauch, you'd think I was just reliving my days as a child watching baseball. Nope, these are some names on the current hall of fame ballot. Wow. A wife beater, a cocaine addict, a guy who can't spell his name but had the Shawon-o-meter, and a man who could barely throw to first...goddammit, I love baseball.

2) Jorge Garbajosa, a piece of garbage?
Isn't that a clever title? Jorge ignored the Raptors front office and decided to play in the Euro championships this summer. That's backfired in the worst possible way, because the Raptors claim he needs another surgery on his leg before it heals (one of the ugliest injuries I've seen in basketball). How does this affect GM's across the league when it comes to their foreign (or even domestic) stars wanting to represent their countries in international play? Big time. Keep an eye on this.

3) Santana in pinstripes?
Guh...first those Bronx folks say they won't trade their hot shot prospects, now they might give the farm to Minnesota for the man who might be the best pitcher in modern baseball. If nothing else, I support this trade because it might actually make a Yanks/Sox match up worth putting up with the ESPN fluffers at full blast. Oh yeah, they're talking about Joe Nathan too. If these guys want money, uh, Tom Hicks has it too, right?

4) Hey! Was that Ricky Williams?
Like another Texas graduate I see in the mirror, Ricky built up his performance to be epic, and he ended up finishing quicker than anyone imagined while getting injured in the process. However, tearing a chest muscle when your arm gets stepped on is like spraining your ankle trying to get a condom on, you know, things that happened in the past 5 days. Oh well, Big gets his chance to gloat because Patrick Cobbs is the only running back alive in Miami. Unless they sign Hodges Mitchell or Ivan Taylor just to fuck with Big's mind. Don't put it past them, Cam Cameron hates Big.

5) Helio Castroneves wins!
A sports nation yawns!

Steve Young is close to snapping

I'm sure some of you (Big) have seen this video already, but I think you should pay attention to Steve Young the entire time. He dies inside just a little after each "Emmitt-ism"

Seriously, he's going to snap and kill either, if not both, Emmitt Smith and Stuart Scott. It's got to be bad enough having to sit with those to dumb asses, but now you can tell he's getting real close to losing it. I know I started laughing at the interchange of "do I have to repeat my long winded comment?" "Yes, repeat your long winded comment."