Brown quits life

That's it. I'm done. Big or Bear is going to have to cut my body down from the rope hanging from the fan in my living room.

Folks, this was on MSNBC (granted the Entertainment/Gossip area), and yes, they refer to it as a "scandal".

"De facto Starbucks spokes-twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen might have a scandal on their hands. A former barista from the Olsen’s oft-frequented Starbucks in New York’s West Village allegedly used to swap out skim milk for the full-fat variety when the girls came by for their caffeine fix...

...one fellow latte-lover close to the Olsens (who requested anonymity) said that she sympathizes with the twins — to an extent. “It’s also my worst nightmare — that and getting a huge diet fountain soda that is mistakenly regular Coke — but I can def(initely) taste the difference"

Yup, I'm done. Goodbye world.