Can't take credit for this one, but a buddy sent me this email. Thought it was funny. Here you have it.
The Big 12 compared to the Middle East:
-TEXAS: Iran. Somewhat of a controlling power in the region but it will all come crashing down because they have a highly functioning retard as a leader.
-KANSAS: Kuwait. Tons of riches and unrealized potential, but still vulnerable to Iran.
-NEBRASKA: Iraq. A wealth of history but the country as a whole is going in the tank and they will kill themselves off before it's all over.
-OKLAHOMA: Saudi Arabia. A proud kingdom, once torn up by fighting but known for historic past and prosperous future, surrounded by Iran and Iraq , with fanatics in Al-Qaeda (see below) who'll stop at nothing to bring them down.
-MISSOURI: Syria. Evil schemers who will stoop to whatever level they need to win. No real history to speak of but thinks they are the cradle of civilization.
-OKLAHOMA STATE: Al Qaeda. No real country, just a movement of disgruntled fanatics who live to destroy the hope of those more fortunate. No other goal in life than to bring down the House of Saudi Arabia. Terrorizing that country in the late 90's and early 2000 years is the crowning achievement in their history. Signing day was a major setback to the movement. They are fanatically loyal to their new leader.
-KANSAS STATE: Palestinian territories. No one really cares or worries about them unless they can be of some use (i.e. winning a battle once in a while against Iran that causes a bit of shake up in(rankings)
-IOWA STATE: Qatar. Where is Qatar? Is it in our area?
-Texas A&M: Afghanistan. Not much going for it other than the crazy- commoners.
-BAYLOR: Israel. None of the others understand why they're in the area. Just leave them alone for God's sake. What did they ever do to you?
-COLORADO: Morocco. Not really part of the Middle East. Have other things to do than fight (or play football). Rumor is you can always go there for a good time.
-TEXAS TECH: Libya. Has a charismatic leader in a land of nothingness who will rattle his sword but knows he doesn't have a whole heck of a lot to back it up. Pulls the occasional sneak-attack and cries 'Victory!'
Showing posts with label Insert Funny Post Tag. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Insert Funny Post Tag. Show all posts
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
The Brown Five - 12/18/07
The Brown Five is a daily breakdown of five stories that Brown stumbled upon and cause his eyebrows to raise up a bit. This probably won't be daily because Brown has the attention span of a...hey look! A bicycle..
1) Roy Williams, suspended
The horse collar tackle was pretty evident, and I can't really argue as to why he shouldn't be suspended. I just wonder what the big to-do is about it. Are the Cowboys really concerned that we won't have a no-tackling, can't cover, overpaid, over-rated safety on the field? Granted, Patrick Watkins is out with an injury, but Keith Davis is available. Last resort, throw Anthony Henry back there and let Jacque Reeves start in Henry's spot.
2) Reggie Bush wants to play
This is a bad idea. This time, I'm going to stay objective because, in all reality, I think Reggie Bush is "Marinovich" overrated. If Payton plays Bush at all the rest of the season, he's leveraging 2008. A damaged PCL can be run on, but it puts a lot more strain on the other ligaments in the knee, opening the door for a more serious ACL or MCL injury. My guess is that Bush realizes he wasn't being productive, and Aaron Stecker is, so he fears that when they're all healthy, McCallister included, then Bush might be the odd man out.
3) Rory pisses Tiger off, again
Really, Rory Sabatini has to be the stupidest golfer on the planet. He was down by 20 some odd strokes in Tiger's Target Challenge where, essentially, all the players donate the winnings to the Tiger Woods Foundation. Well, Rory decides he's just going to Petrino the field and quits before the final round, take his check and to fly to Hawaii for Christmas vacation. Of all the golfers to piss off, do you really think that Tiger Woods is the guy do piss off? Really? Isn't that dooming yourself to infamy? Even Fred Couples gave him the warning "not to mess with the wrong guy" in Tiger.
4) The Mavs beat the Magic, find some of their own
The Mavericks, who were on a bit of a downswing last week, are back on top after beating the Orlando Magic in the fourth quarter last night. Dirk reminded everyone why he's the league MVP by draining 11 of his 31 points in the 4th, including a 3 pointer in the last bit to help eek out a 111 to 108 win. We even had a "Dampier plays solid defense" sighting. Don't let me sugar coat it though, this came down to the last seconds. Orlando is a good team, scary good, and shouldn't be overlooked in the East.
5) No, I haven't ignored my school's basketball team
I watch and follow Texas basketball, but I NEVER comment on it. Contrary to football or baseball, Texas basketball is something that I refuse to comment on. Seems that the team does well and the moment I mention how well they are doing, they screw the pooch in such a royal fashion, it's almost endearing. So, you won't hear from me on it.
1) Roy Williams, suspended
The horse collar tackle was pretty evident, and I can't really argue as to why he shouldn't be suspended. I just wonder what the big to-do is about it. Are the Cowboys really concerned that we won't have a no-tackling, can't cover, overpaid, over-rated safety on the field? Granted, Patrick Watkins is out with an injury, but Keith Davis is available. Last resort, throw Anthony Henry back there and let Jacque Reeves start in Henry's spot.
2) Reggie Bush wants to play
This is a bad idea. This time, I'm going to stay objective because, in all reality, I think Reggie Bush is "Marinovich" overrated. If Payton plays Bush at all the rest of the season, he's leveraging 2008. A damaged PCL can be run on, but it puts a lot more strain on the other ligaments in the knee, opening the door for a more serious ACL or MCL injury. My guess is that Bush realizes he wasn't being productive, and Aaron Stecker is, so he fears that when they're all healthy, McCallister included, then Bush might be the odd man out.
3) Rory pisses Tiger off, again
Really, Rory Sabatini has to be the stupidest golfer on the planet. He was down by 20 some odd strokes in Tiger's Target Challenge where, essentially, all the players donate the winnings to the Tiger Woods Foundation. Well, Rory decides he's just going to Petrino the field and quits before the final round, take his check and to fly to Hawaii for Christmas vacation. Of all the golfers to piss off, do you really think that Tiger Woods is the guy do piss off? Really? Isn't that dooming yourself to infamy? Even Fred Couples gave him the warning "not to mess with the wrong guy" in Tiger.
4) The Mavs beat the Magic, find some of their own
The Mavericks, who were on a bit of a downswing last week, are back on top after beating the Orlando Magic in the fourth quarter last night. Dirk reminded everyone why he's the league MVP by draining 11 of his 31 points in the 4th, including a 3 pointer in the last bit to help eek out a 111 to 108 win. We even had a "Dampier plays solid defense" sighting. Don't let me sugar coat it though, this came down to the last seconds. Orlando is a good team, scary good, and shouldn't be overlooked in the East.
5) No, I haven't ignored my school's basketball team
I watch and follow Texas basketball, but I NEVER comment on it. Contrary to football or baseball, Texas basketball is something that I refuse to comment on. Seems that the team does well and the moment I mention how well they are doing, they screw the pooch in such a royal fashion, it's almost endearing. So, you won't hear from me on it.
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