Well, well, well. What a NFL season this has been. With 11 weeks in the books, and every team playing 10 games so far, its time for the stretch run of the season. Who are the players? Who are the pretenders? I'm here to tell you. Sports. Power rankings make me horny.
The Opps I Crapped my Pants Tier
32. Miami 0-10 - We really might see a 0-16. This team is BAD. The defence is OLD. In a year where there isn't a super stud #1 overall pick coming out of college, its hard to even say "whelp we got the first pick at least" this year as a Dolphin fan.
31. San Francisco 2-8 - Man if your a fan of the 49ers I'm truly sorry for you. Your stud sleeper RB is hurt, you QB sucks, the TE that was supposed to change the game is a bust so far, and you don't even get to look forward to the draft, cuz you traded your first round pick to Satan's Anus(New England).
30. Oakland 2-8 - I would have this team in the next tier if they start using Jam Jam at QB. They got a solid def but without Lamont Jordan this team is the second worse offence in football. If Russell was starting, at least you would be moving forward.
Bad, bad teams, but they at least have a reason tier
29. Atlanta 3-7 - Well the Falcons have a reason for being this shitty, and he is in Jail. You can't just take away the starting pro bowl QB of your team and except the team not to go down hill, that said, the other parts of this team aren't that bad.
28. NY Jets 2-8 - J-E-T-S REBUILD REBUILD REBUILD! Going to learn a lot about where this team is going during the rest of the season. Is Washington a legit back? Can Clemmons be a starter? Where will Jon Vilma go? Who really gives a damn?
Bad teams you should watch out for, they could get ya!
27. St. Louis 2-8 This team really could go 8-8 and win the div. Look S.Jax is back, Buldger no longer has a broken ribs, and L.Little quite killing people! If the O-Line keeps gelling, they could be the ULTIMATE sleeper.
26. Cincinnati 3-7 - Great O, horrible D. Isn't Marvin a def genius? Well, good news, prison makes you strong.
25. Carolina 4-6 - I never thought I would see the day where we thought Vinny T is a better QB than David Carr. I'm going to start calling Carr the 10cent condom, because he is a BUST!
Not so Bad teams playing like ass tier
24. Chicago 4-6 - If only the Sex Cannon would unleash that damn dragon.
23. New Orleans 4-6 - Man I love Reggie Bush, and if he was on a team with a legit offence leader (read not sean payton), he would be one of the most exciting backs to play the game. Instead he has been regulated to the next Eric Metcalf.
The "at this point they could go either way" tier
22. Baltimore 4-6 - Come on, give Troy Smith a shot. Come on. You know you want to.
21. Kansas City 4-6 - The most entertaining coach in the league, Herm, will keep his job due to yet another average season. This guy gets more free passes from being just as plane as white bread. And i love it.
20. Arizona 5-5 - Good ol' robo arm Jesus face.
19. Minnesota 4-6 - Man this team is great, sans one player, a QB. If Travis, sorry Travarius, boom boom Jackson plays like the played last week, decent, this team can make the playoffs. Mark it.
18. Philadelphia 5-5 - Don't know how long McNugget is out, but if this teams goes to the playoffs again without him, he will be playing in purple next year.
The Fletch Tier (meaning they are under rated)
17. Houston 5-5 - They get a healthy Shaub and AJ, and they win. Its what they do.
16. Buffalo 5-5 - Before Marshawn Lynch went down i really thought they had a shot at the Anus. Man was I wrong! They are still a good team in a shitty teams body.
The I like em, but wouldn't put money on em tier
15 Washington 5-5 - Should have beat the boys. That Auburn QB they have looks pretty nice.
14. Detroit 6-4 - I don't know how this team keeps winning. I guess its God's QB Kitna. And the weired thing is, if their WR's get healthy they could win at least 3 more.
13. Denver 5-5 - Will the real Jay Cutler please stand up? They will go as he goes, so i hope its in the crapper.
12. San Diego 5-5 - Still think DeMarcus Ware was the wrong pick?
11. Tampa Bay 6-4 - Another team with an old QB that seams to be playing over their head.
Don't want to play these guys in the First round of the playoffs tier.
10. Tennessee 6-4 - VY plays well and they loose. The plays like ass, they win. How in the hell?
9. Seattle 6-4 - I think Shauwn Alexander going down has been the best thing to happen to this team, and playing in the West. It forces Hassellquarterback into a bigger role.
8. NY Giants 7-3 - Really scary that Brandon Jacobes went down. They have good back ups, but when he plays well the Giants are a really scary team.
7. Cleveland 6-4 - Most def the team that I don't want to play in the playoffs. They seam to just know how to pull a win out of their ass.
The AFC's Playing for 2nd tier
6. Jacksonville 7-3 - David Garrard? Really? Mo-Jo is what Reggie Bush should be. They are just doing stuff right.
5. Pittsburgh 7-3 - They would have been the #2 team in the AFC if they hadn't shit the bed against the Jets. Watch out, if this team can't play the 3-4 def any better than did on sunday, they could loose really often.
4. Indianapolis 8-2 - You know, I can see this team going back to the super bowl. They can play the good guys, who are down and out, and hurt and have already been beaten down once by the Anus, then out of nowhere beat them in round 2 of the playoffs. That would be great. Except we would have to see even more of Peyton Manning.
Best of the NFC tier.
3. Green Bay 9-1 - They can't run the ball, or can they? They better win this week and then the boys better win so we can have one hell of a game next Thursday with Farve vs. Farve2.0
2. Dallas 9-1 - One thing that scares me about this Cowboy team, the running game. If Romo farts and falls down, so goes the Cowboys until they can get more out of JJ, and MB3.
The Best Ever tier
1. New England Anus 10 - 0 - They are going to do it. They are the best team ever. And nothing i can do can stop it. It sucks. I want so bad to be Tom Brady.
Stay hard!
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