Is this another comeback post? Looking back and looking forward.

Cool Dog says, “come on in and make yourself comfortable”

I know what you’re thinking, here’s another “we’re coming back” post from Brown about how he’s going to start posting more, and then he’s just going to go back to not posting anything and retreat to the fortress of solitude.  Probably…

But, here’s what I am going to promise you.  I’m gonna try to re-launch this puppy next year.   Big may or may not be on board, that’s purely up to him.  I’m sure that most of our readers (all 5 of them) have stopped even coming here, but maybe this will be a chance to bring them back.  I dunno, we’ll see. 

Looking back…

We started this blog when sports blogging was really coming into its own.  Newspapers didn’t really have recognized bloggers, Deadspin was one or two years old, TBL was independent, the KSK boys just bloggers rather than authors, and Mottram was running FanHouse.  We had this great idea that we would join the fray, establish ourselves and become a Dallas sports blog.   That was answered with a resounding, “Meh”.  We could barely get our friends to read this fucking thing, let alone strangers.  Sure, we had our fair share of regulars, Gerry Dorsey, Dave from the Dream Shake, Bear, Nasty, Bizzle, Sherpa and so forth, but our biggest day was getting maybe 50 hits and being invited to blog on a SN Mavericks blog.  Not exactly a hot spot on the web.

I think that’s where we petered out and died. (I keep saying “we”, but I have no idea what Big thinks of any of this.)   We weren’t getting any hits, any interactions and life kind of took over.   Our love of sports hasn’t gone astray.  Our thoughts and opinions haven’t changed, we just haven’t written down anything.   Shit, in the time this place has been dormant, I’ve changed jobs twice, gotten married, gotten a dog and beat Mother Nature to the punch by shaving my head.  See?  Life’s taken over. 

So, now what? 

This blog is coming back.  At least at 50% (me).  It isn’t going to be wholly sports focused, I may go weeks without a sports post.  I’m going to make this blog a personal thought dump of sorts.  I’m not going to share intimate, deep thoughts or any of that shit, but, as I’ve always done, I tend to observe the world around me in my own way, and if I don’t express that, then I tend to go nuts.  The wife is getting tired of my random non sequiturs, so I figured this is an ideal location.

You can follow us (me) on twitter at twitter.com/bigandthebrown for updates, or just bookmark this site and keep your eyes open.

If you liked any of the stuff that you read here before, then know that it’s coming back.  If you didn’t, well you probably stopped reading anyway, so you’re not reading this.

So, here’s to 2011 and the re-launch of The Big & The Brown on 1/3/2011…won’t you join us? 

 

PS: I really can’t speak for Big, so if you were reading this blog for his entries, you should send him an email or something.

An Answer to Big's Soulja Boy Love

This isn't from me, but from Justin Jacobs of The Pitt News, I just find it relevant to counteract the juxtaposed prose that Big provided of his deep and creepy obsession with "Soulja Boy":

I sat at my computer for a solid half-hour, trying to think of a witty, yet still caustic way to say this, but I just can’t come up with anything. So here goes: Soulja Boy is terrible. Awful. Maybe the worst thing to happen in hip-hop since Notorious B.I.G. died. And that was a decade ago. Now before you call me an indie-rock snob, let’s explore why it is that I might be so perturbed by this bad little boy.

With that, I present to you The Top Seven Reasons Why Soulja Boy is Worse Than Global Warming and Twice as Annoying. Let us begin.

7. Name Confusion and Shameless Self-Promotion — Soulja Boy is also known as Soulja Boy Tell’em. His album is called Souljaboytellem.com, which is also the address of his Web site. Now, this extended name would imply that Mr. Boy, whose real name is DeAndre Way, is being instructed to tell us something, as in, “Hey Soulja Boy, tell ‘em about your hot new album called Souljaboytellem.com.” But, no, that’s just his name.

Thankfully, in case any of us were confused, Mr. Boy repeats some incarnation of his name no less than 46 times in the course of his hit song, “Crank That (Soulja Boy).” He also includes his name in the song’s title for those of us who are deaf and can only read track listings. What a gentleman.

6. Special Dance Equals Career Death — If Soulja Boy wishes his career to be long and illustrious, it’s a shame, because by creating a dance to go with his hit single, he has effectively slaughtered this possibility. Remember the guys who wrote “Macarena?” How about “The Electric Slide?” Exactly. By basing the first hit song — the foundation of a commercial artist’s career — on an instructional dance, any chance that people will view said artist as legitimate drops to zero.

The only way for such an artist to stay successful is to write more hit singles that come with dances. Unfortunately for Soulja Boy, the quality of his current dance hints that any subsequent dances will be about as interesting as sitting on a couch or lying down. His “Crank That” dance makes drunk people look drunker and awkward people more awkward, causing many to fall over and hurt themselves on a sharp object nearby. Who’s ready for a lawsuit?

4. Comes Complete with Corresponding “Soulja Girl” — Soulja Boy wasn’t satisfied with only one Soulja-related song, and we all know that he isn’t at all sexist, so the album also features the tune “Soulja Girl.” This tune, just released as the next single, is a smooth, love ballad, and actually doesn’t suck that bad. That is, until the chorus, when Soulja Boy chimes in with the same “YOUUUUUUU” chant that plagues “Crank That.” Yup, Mr. Boy wrote two songs using the same chorus. He’s a creative one, that Soulja. About as creative as a coma patient.

3. Lyrical Content — Now we get to the real meat of my argument. The lyrics of “Crank That” are the rap equivalent of the dialogue in an episode of “Beavis and Butthead.” That is to say, they are utterly and unequivocally stupid. But at least Beavis and Butthead were funny.

Lines like, “Nope you can’t do it like me/ So don’t do it like me/ I seen you tryin’ to do it like me/ Man, that dance was ugly,” sound like either a drunken catfight at a frat house or a second grade playground taunt.

Either way, to glean any meaning from Soulja Boy’s lyrics will have the same result as listening to Nickelback — you’ll just end up with a headache. There are two lines, however, that have garnered a certain amount of special attention, leading us to …

2. Blatant Misogyny — Soulja Boy, like many rappers of his breed, sure loves the ladies. Or rather, being grossly sexist and disgusting towards them. Now I haven’t conducted any solid research, but I’m reasonably sure that the majority of women out there would prefer not to be “super-soaked” or “Supermanned.” Honestly, I’d be less disgusted with Soulja Boy if he wrote a song about having a water gun fight with himself — at least no one would be degraded. And on that note …

1. Soulja Boy Has Ruined My Childhood — Like many of you reading this, Super Soakers were about the coolest thing to own anywhere from third until sixth grade. The bigger Super Soaker you had, the cooler you were, and water fights could rage all over any neighborhood.

Thanks to “Crank That,” I can no longer think of these wonderful childhood memories without the notion of Soulja Boy super-soaking his favorite “Hooooooo.” Thank you, Soulja Boy. Really. It’s a much more pleasant image.

So there you have it, The Top Seven Reasons Why Soulja Boy is Worse Than Global Warming and Twice as Annoying. Keep in mind that these are only the top seven — a veritable encyclopedia of other reasons is currently in existence, including “Soulja Boy is Everything That is Wrong With Music Today” and “Wearing Sunglasses With Your Name on the Lenses is Not Cool.”

In conclusion, “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” by Soulja Boy, AKA Soulja Boy Tell’em is the first single on Souljaboytellem.com. And it sucks.