Monday, February 28, 2011

Bow to our New Overlord! (and lets see if i can still do this)


Oh Sweet Lord Trebek! What have you DONE!?!?

With brown out this week, Its my goal to give all 14 of you that still come to our little cul-de-sac of the blogoshpere what you expect, fresh piping hot content. Should be good times. I haven't done this consistently for a while now. Its like riding a bike right? So let me just step up on this shwinn here.....OH GOOD GOD!


Does physical humor work on a blog?

(Gets up, dusts self off, trys to hide raging pain boner)

Well that was fun. So on to my point. Whats up with computers? I know right? Crazy!

Man i'm rusty. Bare with me, or this might be a long week. Let me just lead off with the part of this story that i know about, Sports. I mean come on, we are a sports blog right? That's what everybody is here to read about, right? Hardcore Sports Manlove!

Its not like Deadspin has started running daily bits about pop culture.......

Or TBL often starts and ends each day with a round up of non sportie news........

or that Bill Simmons has a highly rated pod cast that often talks about Real World/Road Rules Challenges........

or that the ticket in Dallas despite it's poor 9,000 watt station is out dueling mighty ESPN and CBS radio stations with segments such as "trifecta talk," "top 10 temperatures," and pimping bands at the reconsider lounge......

Wait, all those things are happening? Fuck. I HAVE been gone a while.

One thing will never change, however, and I know this to be true like death and taxes, The NFL and their union will always be the most powerfull being on the planet, and NEVER EVER GO AWAY.......

(receives text from brown)

STRIKE! WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I swear to all that is holy, if there is no NFL Draft, and i don't get to spend 10 hours a day studding draft film's like a Stevie studies Cunninlinguis tapes.......

(receives another text from brown)

there will be a draft......just maybe no season next year. Good, my stab-ability scale just went down from Julius Caesar to Ron Goldman.

Good, now onto my point of this whole post. The NFL Draft Combine. (wow, even i didn't see that one coming, but give me time, it will all come back around)

The Combine is going on as we speak. (i may or may not be streaming it at NFL.com)

The big name, skill guys on offense (QB's, RB's, WR's TE's) and the o-line went through there drills this last weekend. Let me share with you some of the numbers.

40 yard dash fun facts.

5 Guys so far have run SUB 4.4 40's. (fastest so far being the running back from maryland Scott)

All but 1 QB was sub 5.0. 7 at 4.65 or under. 4 sub 4.5.

2 o-line guys ran a sub 5.0 (Kelce from Cincinnati, and Bartholomew from Syracuse.) and one (Newton from Arkansas State (what up sun belt!)) at 5.01. That means 3 O-linemen ran faster than the slowest QB.

8 Runningbacks ran a 4.5 or under

People of Note:

QB
Jake Locker: 4.59 40, 35 inch vertical, 10' broad jump, 6.77 three cone, 4.12 20yard Shuttle
Cam Newton: 4.59 40, 35 inch vertical, 10'6" broad jump, 6.92 three cone, 4.18 20 yard shuttle

WR
Julio Jones: 4.39 40, 17 Bench, 38.5 vert, 11'3" broad (record is 11'4"
AJ Green: 4.50 40, 18 Bench, 10'6"broad.

I know that's a lot of crazy numbers that i just spit at you, and most of you don't know what any of those mean. Point of all this is let you know this: These guys are freaks. More so now than in past years even. 2 QB's who will play QB in the NFL running a sub 4.6 40? A WR who can jump from a standstill no less, the length that would equal 2 browns head to toe? (He's not a tall man)

All of this can mean only one thing, these guys are..............

Robots.

Judgement day is here! Watson on Jeopardy has proved computers are smarter than us, now they are faster and stronger than us as well. All hail Skynet!

( I know, it was a long post to get to a stupid, predictable joke, but give me a break, i'm rusty, i'll do better tomorrow. )




No comments: