Thursday, February 24, 2011

Amazon is slowly taking over my life

Not this one…

I have an admission, and it’s simply that I’m terrified of online activity.  Call me old fashioned, but I’ve always preferred to go to a store, physically touch items, and then purchase them from a sales person. Always have. 

It’s got nothing to do with online security because there’s just as much safety in some 17 year old kid at Best Buy then there is in a 17 year old hacker being able to get into my computer/network and get my information.   You can argue the ability to get to it is easier, but in the end, if it’s going to happen to you, it’s going to happen to you, the best you can do is protect your shit.

No, the reason that I’m “against” buying things online is simply that I don’t trust the other end of the transaction.  When I go to a store, I can see the object I’m buying. I can touch it, I can turn it around, I can see what’s there and what I’m getting.  Online, you don’t know if you’re getting the product or a box with bricks.  Does this make me sound like a 60 year old man?  Well, you damn kids and your internet should know that by now. I just learned “LOL” didn’t mean “Lots Of Love”.  I never claimed to be smart, my wife married me because she can bounce a quarter off my ass.

Anyway, over the holidays this year, I took the not-so-novel approach of buying all my gifts via Amazon.  Holy shit, did you guys know this place existed?  I thought all you bought was books, but no, you can buy anything you want on there. Hell, I bought a kidney!  A REAL LIFE HUMAN FUCKING KIDNEY!  (I did not buy a kidney). Anyway, ever since getting a Kindle (that’s right, I’m a better person than you), my obsession with Amazon has grown further.  Now, I don’t feel like going anywhere (more than I used to…it ain’t called the Fortress of Solitude for nothing) because I can just get it on Amazon and have it shipped in 2 days time.  My shoulder visibly slump when I realize I need something now because it requires me to have human interaction.

How fucking sad is that?  I’m an anti-social person as it is, and now I don’t even want to go to the store to buy stuff.  Anyway, my point is that the internet has allow shut-ins like me to completely disconnect from the real world and never leave the comfort of their own homes.  I’m not quite sure this is a good thing.  Now, for my next discovery, did you guys know that you can buy music on the internet too?  There’s this cool thing called iTunes…

1 comment:

James said...

I buy many items on amazon and eBay. I don't have to leave the house or burn up any gasoline at $3.15 a gallon. Plus your order shows up on your front door within a few days. I had to remove the amazon app from my phone I cannot impulse buy any longer. Now what is this itunes thing?