Tuesday, January 18, 2011

An ode to Pizza

Hope you ate breakfast because this’ll make you hungry

You might remember that I already wrote my piece on sandwiches being the greatest food ever.  A close second, might be pizza.  Pizza, similar to that of the sandwich, is very simplistic, yet one of the most versatile food items out there.

People need to stop trying to trick up pizza and just stay on the classic front.  For example, what’s wrong with plain pizza cheese?  Nothing.  There’s absolutely no need to apply goat cheese to a pizza.  Come to think of it, there’s nothing appetizing about the goat, why in God’s name did we decide to treat it like a cow?   Same with crazy ass toppings.  There’s no such thing as a “gourmet” pizza, and there’s no need to have a toppings list the length of the dead sea scrolls. 

Crusts are a whole separate issue.  Crusts are great, but they shouldn’t be taken for more than they are.  The pie tin of pizza-dom.  Deep-dish, Chicago-style pizza is okay, when you’re in Chicago at the original.  Otherwise, you basically screwed up a lasagna and you’re trying to pass it off as pizza.  Nothing, absolutely nothing, tops the classic thin crust New York style pizza.   In fact, I’d go so far as to say that the only thing that separates the “high end” pizza joints from your run of the mill Pizza Huts and Domino’s is the quality of crust.

So, even though types of pizza, size of pizza and toppings of pizza are the most debated topic in the history of food, I will submit to you, the top 5 pizza combos on the planet (in no particular order).

1) Plain Cheese
2) Sausage and Mushroom
3) Ham and Pineapple
4) Onion and Jalapeno
5) Barbecue Chicken

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “where’s pepperoni?”  I’ll ask you, why have pepperoni when you can get sausage or ham?   See, pepperoni isn’t that great, it’s just a conditioned response from when we were kids.  We had two options, cheese or pepperoni.  That was it.  That’s carried over so much that we’re conditioned that pepperoni is a top choice, when I’d argue it really isn’t. 

I welcome your thoughts.

1 comment:

D-Nasty said...

What? No Supreme? Your list is lame.