Thursday, January 6, 2011

If I wasn’t me, I’d probably kick my own ass

Just think of me as Calvin, and Big as Hobbes.

I was listening to the Nerdist podcast yesterday (thank, Big, for that recommendation), and Hardwick was talking to Marc Maron.  One of the things they were talking about made me have a near-epiphany on the treadmill and I want to see if I can replicate what he was talking about.

Maron basically made the comment, and I’m paraphrasing, “being my friend is a tough job, it’s a demanding and draining job.”  I thought about it and said, “yup, I feel ya man.”   Now, that’s not me saying “boo hoo, feel bad for me, I have no friends'”, that’s me admitting that the few people who are my friends probably deserve your pity for their Gandhi-esque tolerance and Jesus-like forgiveness/acceptance.

Whether it’s something I’m doing subconsciously or directly, I know it takes quite a bit of effort to be my friend.  You people read this blog, I pretty much hate everything on the planet that isn’t in my house, I have mood swings like a pregnant bi-polar woman, and I have a temper that makes Sonny Corleone look like a Care Bear. (To my wife, who reads this, you’re stuck to me in a binding contract, no quitsies!  Side note: the wife asked me the other day if she could write something up as Mrs. Brown.  I said she could, but she didn’t believe me.  You all help me convince her.)

I’m not apologizing, and I’m not playing a violin for myself.  I’m actually happy with who I am as a person and I am quite happy with my life.  I’m just saying that, I’m very self-aware of what a dick I can be, and that those handful of people that have been friends with me through think and thin are people who could probably broker a middle eastern peace treaty and cure the world of white trash.  The rest of the people who I’m friends with, most likely are friends with me purely out of association and begrudging acceptance…most likely you’re a friend of one of my friends and you kind of accept me as a package deal.

So, to those people who are my friends, I get it and thank you.  To those of you who maybe don’t list me on your friend, but realize that I’ve emotionally coerced you into hanging out with me, I’ll see you when I see you.  To those of you who stumble on this blog and don’t know me…well, go fuck yourself. 

1 comment:

The Wife said...

Rest easy, no quitsies wanted, thank you very much. And the fact that I actually find you charming, funny, and easy to love can only mean one thing - I am essentially the female version of you and my friends have it pretty rough as well... I feel bad for the rest of the world that there will one day be little human(s) running around that share our genetics...