Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Brown ranting on Facebook…new year, new message.

Really, the world summed up in one picture.

I’ve made no secrets about the fact that I’m hypocritical of my complaints and annoyance regarding Facebook and Twitter.  I’ve heard every single counter argument of “if you don’t like it, don’t participate” or “if that person annoys you, defriend them”.   All fair points, but let me be clear, I like Facebook and I like Twitter.

I say that completely sober and without pressure or sarcasm.

I enjoy that I can hit a button on my phone and be able to see what my friends are up to, pictures, comical thoughts/links, etc.  I find that to be a nice respite from my cocoon of an office. Same with Twitter.  I enjoy the fact that I can follow humorous people and media types that can pipe in headlines or comedy in a single feed.

However it isn’t the 90% of people that I’m directing my vitriol.  It’s the 10% of you that just don’t fucking get it.  Facebook and Twitter are social media, they aren’t spotlights for your one man show. “Please, you think you’re so funny on your twitter feed, what a fucking hypocrite”.   That’s a good argument, really it is. But, this is my blog post, so fuck you.

The problem with these media is that people over-post and then get offended if you ignore/defriend them or point out that they over-post.  Look, that’s great, you’re pregnant.  I don’t care to know your pussy was puffy this morning and it means you’re housing a small migrant farming community in your uterus.  I also don’t give a shit to know that this morning your child mispronounced a word.  It isn’t funny when your kid does it, it isn’t funny when retards do it (yes it is…for the retards.)

Also, Facebook is a public forum. Do you fucking understand that?  If you have a private message to send someone, use your god damned cell phone. I don’t need to see couples telling each other how much they love each other or seeing them argue in a public forum.  This goes for Twitter also.  You don’t need to have a conversation on Twitter, use your phone. Make the conversation entertaining if you’re putting it on the web. We can all see that you’re trying oh so desperately to hit on some girl that you barely know.  Please stop.  Emoticons make you weak, and fragile and geigh.  Damn it, you people are basically sprinkling your pubic hair all over the social media pizza and ruining it for everyone. 

Is it too much to ask that when you want to post something on the internet, make it entertaining, make it informative, make it something that people actually like, not your little group of lonely women who desperately need attention and think it’s fantastic that Oprah has her own network.

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