Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Re-examining the social networking morass

In the immortal words of Val Kilmer’s Doc Holliday, “My hypocrisy knows no bounds.”

If you remember, I was one of the people who denounced and railed against social networking sites like the MySpace, the Facebook and the Twitter.  Now I find myself joining the Facebook and using this little blogsite to join the Twitter.   Again, I’m the first person to admit that I’m a hypocrite in just about every sense of the word…especially on these here interwebs.  I’ve found that having a Facebook account helps me stay in touch with family and close friends and share pictures and maybe share broadcast messages via a status update.  I’ve found that having a Twitter account helps me either a) promote posts on this site b) promote posts on MavsMoneyBall and c) go on Twitter-thons while watching a game, in essence, live blogging for you, the sexy reader.

In my eyes, that’s what these sites were made for, but in the hands on the wrong person, these sites can inherently make me want to shove chopsticks in my ear until I feel something go *pop*. 

For the record,

  • I don’t care that you need help in Mafia Wars
  • I don’t care how your farm is doing in Farmville
  • I don’t care what you baked in your cafe
  • I don’t care what your photo of the day is
  • I don’t care about your daily routine and if you really need to go to the gym
  • I don’t care if you think it’s cold outside
  • I don’t care where you are or what you’re doing every minute of the day

Allow me to respond to the biggest arguments against me on this topic

1) If you don’t like it, then just ignore it or don’t read it.

So, let me get this straight.  We’re friends on Facebook because we’re friends and want to know what’s going on and keep in touch, but I’m supposed to ignore your posts?   As for the don’t read it part, well, that’s a bit hard to do when IT’S 75% OF THE GOD DAMNED SCREEN.  If you’re offended by this, go ahead and remove me as a friend, I won’t have my feelings hurt.  It’s Facebook.  Who gives a shit?

2) I’ve got everything linked together on my phone! What can I do?

STOP LINKING SHIT TOGETHER ON YOUR PHONE! These are two different websites with two different purposes.  Twitter can be updated frequently and to your heart’s content because that’s the intent.  Facebook, however, doesn’t need to be updated every two seconds because again all it does is CLUTTER UP 75% OF MY SCREEN.  If you want me to ignore it, please see number 1.  Is it that fucking hard for you to enter something twice if you absolutely, positively have to put it in both locations?   "Whew, I might get carpel tunnel if I enter “I’m eating dinner now” in two places.  Better merge it into one application!”

3) If it bothers you so much, don’t be on the sites.

Read the entire post, dip shit.

Now, I know for sure that I’ve pissed off at least one of you sexy readers because you’re addicted to the social networking thing and you have to update things every minute of every day.  Just know that you shouldn’t take it personally that I find social networking behavior annoying.  Seriously.  It’s the fucking internet. Who cares what I think? 


Bear said...

First.... I feel like #2 is directed at ME since I'm the only person that has caught flak for this shit from our group of friends! So let me say that it's not out of Laziness or fear of carpel-tunnel. It's because I wanted to use twitter more and ultimately anything I status on Facebook is what I would use on Titter. Promoting the Blog to my Twitter followers and my Facebook friends.
Second... I'm right there with you on the if you don't like it... Ignore it. Again, I probably catch the most flak on this crap because I am a habitual status'er and can guarantee that one of two people will ALWAYS bitch about something I've updated. I've gotten to the point that, like you, that if you don't like... ignore it. Block me... I could care less.

Bear said...

Just realized I said Titter... I think we should all refer to it as Titter from now on. So much better!