Monday, July 20, 2009

Tony’s a free man!

Well, it hasn’t exactly been a secret.  I hate Jessica Simpson.  Hate her.  I can find a big tittied, overweight blond anywhere in Dallas. Why should this bitch be famous?

Anyway, if you didn’t see the story (and I’m not sure why), Tony pulled a move that I personally find so awesome, it brought a tear to my eye.  Allow me to show you how I believe it went…

Jessica: It’s my birthday coming up tomorrow.

Tony: Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Bobby Carpenter.

Jessica: I want to have a party.

Tony: Boat. Boat. Golf. Jason Witten. Guitar Hero.

Jessica: How about a Barbie and Ken party?

Tony: Go—…what?

Jessica: A Barbie and Ken Party!  I can be Barbie!!!

Tony: That’s it. I’m out.  Peace, bitch.


You might think that I’d be happy that Tony’s single.  I am happy that he’s lost the weight.  However, as much as I love Tony Romo, he’s a big ol’ douche. 

My fear is that now he’s going to be more focused on partying and being a douche that he’s going to be that much less focused on football…and this is supposed to be his breakout season.

Jerry’s (probably more Steven) made all the moves this off-season to make this team Tony Romo’s.  Gone went Owens.  Garrett has simplified the playbook and made it run-heavier.  Marty B has kept people entertained. (Captain Crunch!!!!)  Now it’s Tony’s turn to show that the right moves were made.

Think about it.  For all the crap Owens pulled, was he ever out of shape?  Was he ever missing practices?  Didn’t his teammates, for the most part, love him and follow him?   Can you say the same thing about Tony Romo? 

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