Saturday, March 28, 2009

Greatest. Story. Ever.

There are days when you come across a story that is so crazy, wild and nuts that you really don't know what to do yourself. I don't like to wish bad things on people, but i will laugh my ass off when something like this happens.

Meet Vince Shlomi. He's probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers.

The ShamWow guy's last name is Shlomi? That was worth reading the article right there. But wait, there is more.

Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room.

Violent confrontation with a prostitute huh? Well, I wonder what he did, or asked the hooker to do, that started this "confrontation." Please lord let it have been an argument over how much man juice a shamwow can hold, with Shlomi issuing the line "well lets see how much blood it can clean up!"

(Shlomi) retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris(the hooker) about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

I don't know much about hooker laws and practices, but I would like to think if you bring one up to your super nice hotel room, offer to pay her 1000 bucks for just some regular sex, and then you explain to her that your the shamwow guy, she shouldn't bite your tongue. But that's just me.

After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons

Whoa Whoa, Booze was involved? Get the Fuck Out. And this was his mug shot.

I swear to you these two picks are of the same person. ShamWow, you have ruined yet another life.

H/T : Film Drunk

1 comment:

j-bizzle said...

shamwow may destroy us all, but it beats the shit out of some zorbys!