Over the Christmas break, I did, what many people do who follow football as hardcore as we do, realized its all about to be over. There is always that one moment where when you are least expecting it to, it hits you like a fist full dicks..........Footballs almost over.
That moment happened for me when I was driving from downtown Dallas to my house in the burbs, listening to the start of the second half of the Cowboys debacle vs the Eagles. The first half was spent a somewhat douchy bar downtown, hanging with a buddy for his birthday. The game was on, I wasn't being very social, and I realized that this whole birthday party thing was going to go for the rest of the night, so I excused myself from it, headed home during halftime with the idea of meeting back up later to party, and now I could really watch the boys make the playoffs.
Then the second half started, and we all pretty much know what happened.
So when I pulled into my apt, turned off the play-by-play, and with a full quarter and some change to go, I sat there in silence thinking, "There goes football season."
And do you know what the twisted part is? I should be used to this by now, right? I mean look at truthfully. I'm a Dallas sports fan. The Cowboys haven't won a playoff game in 10 some odd years, the Mavericks keep sucking me in so the they shit all over me, I don't dig Hockey that much, and the Rangers have always, and will always, suck ass. I went to a college that for four years a 500 record and being number one in the worst conference in Div 1 was what we expected and got. Now? Winning one game a year would be a step in the right direction.
So I should be used to teams shitting on my face right? I mean my AOL Chat name is DallasBlumpkin420. And to an extent, i think i am. But something was different with this cowboy team. Maybe it was the lofty expectations. Maybe it was the time invested. But more than likely it was the attitude of the whole team that got me down. TO Owens, Pacman Jones, Tony Romo, Wade Phillips..... None of those guys really got me excited or proud to be a Cowboy fan. And then how the season ended, with the whole he said she said bit, where every ex-player that had a microphone in there face were saying stupid shit like "well, TO is right, he needs the ball more, and who ever snitched on him to the media is the person who is killing this team." REALLY. IT'S THE SNITCH! THAT'S THE GUY WHO KILLED THIS WHOLE SHIP!?!
It wasn't the fact that TO spit the offence into two by going behind his QB's back to complain he throws the ball to much to his TE, or the fact that one of the starting secondary members is accused of being a part of two shootings and to prove he's not that bad of guy, gets in a donnybrook with his team appointed body guard? But that's OK, because Deion Sanders is coming on the radio saying how great a guy Pac is, and how much he has changed, and all these things are misunderstandings.
You know what, If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Dieon Sanders, the TV/Radio guy, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there in Highland Park with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is.
Where's the Tylenol?
Now I know, as a football fan I should be looking forward to all the fun bowl games that were going on, and the NFL playoffs, but after a full season of thinking this Cowboy team was one of the more talented teams in the NFL, to have them fall on their face was a blow I was not ready to take.
So I started thinking college football. Nothing wrong with a little college football bowl games, right? Then I remembered that outside of Oklahoma and Florida, non of the match ups really made it move down there. And thus sent me into a bourbon soaked spiral into the spirit world.
It has taken me a few weeks, but i think I'm ready to move on. I think I'm ready to enjoy sports again, and I truly thank the Arizona Cardinals for doing that. They really made my sports wienie go crazy with the upset of Carolina. Thank you for you understanding. Lets have a kick ass 2009!