Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Something to take your mind off the fact that we have no money anymore


Worse than an entire watermelon

I needed to grab a quick breakfast this morning, and I saw the cups of yogurt at the hotel. It was either Activia yogurt or some crazy "Fruit on the Bottom" shit that I just don't trust.

So, without thinking or reading carefully, I picked the Activia.

Sweet mother of God, I think I just gave birth to a small Filipino child.

Apparently, no one told me that this yogurt is infused with some kind of fiber bacteria that is meant for 50 year old women to eat and cleanse their bloated, menopausal colons.

Fuck you, Hampton Inn, for providing it. Fuck you, Dannon, for making it.

Wait a second. I've never felt this great in my life.

I take it back, Hampton Inn and Dannon. Thank you for the greatest shit of my life.

I'm pretty sure I could outrun Usain Bolt.

2 comments:

steve said...

and this is why we're glad you're back

buttons said...

he's one of the best shit-talkers I know..