Tuesday, September 23, 2008

power is in the eye......week 3

Interesting tidbit before I rock to the power rankings. Out of the 16 games played last Sunday, only 4 road teams won. Crazy.

Here we go with this weeks rankings.

As always, these teams are ranked from who get first cracks on the hot chick during a gang bang.

The "So good looking its Scary" tier.

1. (-)Dallas Cowboys 3-0 - When the Schedule came out, I looked at it and said "man, if we can go 2-1 the first 3 weeks, we'll be alright." Low and behold, we're 3-0. And except the shootout in Philly, looked dominate doing it.

2. (+1) Denver Broncos 3 0 - What an offense. 1st in points, 2nd in total yards, 2nd in passing yards, 10th in rushing yards, 114 total points. Holy crap KC is going to get torched this week. The Broncos could hang 100 on them faster than a titty flopping out during a brawlesss jump rope day.

3. (+3) Tennessee Titans 3 0 - As Good as the Broncos offense is, the Titans Defense is just as nasty. 1st in points, 3rd in yards, 3 vs pass, 10 vs. rush. If you can stop the passing game, and score over 20, you should win about 90% of your games in the league. The defense is as tight as......a dish in saran wrap. (see what i did there)

The "Damn Good, and I mean Damn good" tier.

4. (-) New York Giants 3 0 - They should have lost to the Bengals, but they pulled it out. That's what good teams do I guess, but I'm still not sold on this team, and more importantly, Eli.

5. (-) Philadelphia Eagles 2 1 - Did you see what happened when Brain Westbrook went down? I know the Steelers have a nice defense, but they couldn't hardly move the ball at all when that guy was out of the game.

6. (+3) Buffalo Bills 3 0 - I know they had to pull something out of their ass this week to beat oakland, but with games at STL, and at Arizona, they should be 5-0, fresh off a bye, hosting the whales vagina in week 7.

7. (-5) Pittsburgh Steelers 2 1 - The worry from the off season was whether or not the O-line could hold up, man did they get exposed vs philly. Big Ben is dinged up and Fast Willie Parker is out for the Monday night game, looks like time to see how Mendenhall can handle the load.

8. (-1) Green Bay Packers 2 1 - If you want to be an elite team, you win tough games at home. They didn't this week. Not compiling, I'm just saying.

the "Not Quite Sold They are that Good yet" tier.

9. (+8) Washington Redskins 2 1 - good win over New Orleans, OK win over Arizona, Shitty loss to the Giants. Guess we'll find out this week what they are made of.

10. (+5) Baltimore Ravens 2 0 - I like Joe Flaco, but wins over Cinncy and Cle don't impress me much.

11. (+9) Tampa Bay Buccaneers 2 1 - You give me 68 attempts as a qb in the NFL, i might throw for 300 yards. I doubt it, but i might. If I did, well, i'm now just at good as Brain Greise.

The "much better than their records" tier.

12. (+7) San Diego Chargers 1 2 - Kinda feel bad for the Jets. The Chargers were due to put a hurtin on someone, and it happend to be New York also.

13. (+5) Minnesota Vikings 1 2 - a part of me was excited to see ol' headbutt throw that early pick. I can see childress now "Damn it! Put in..." looks over at the bench and see's Travis just sitting there ready to go in, with excitement in his eyes, "nevermind." Ahh crushed dreams are fun.

14. (-1) New Orleans Saints 1 2 - Reggie Bush is trying real hard, his team is still losing, but he is trying really, really hard!

The "i really don't know how these teams have this good a record" tier.

15. (-1) Arizona Cardinals 2 1 - Not so easy when your not playing your division or at home is it there buzzsaw.

16. (-6) Carolina Panthers 2 1 - Followed up to nice wins with 204 net yards vs the Vikings. Nice.

The "i think these guys are better than their record" tier.

17. (-6) Chicago Bears 1 2 - They should have won their last 2 games, but they didn't. Now Philly comes to town. A bounch back win here would move them back up.

18. (-4) Indianapolis Colts 1 2 - So this great offense is 20th in total yards, 31st in rushing, and 25th in points. Throw that in with being 30th in rush defense, you got problems man.

19. (+7) Jacksonville Jaguars 1 2 - Nice win at Indy showed that this team can still play. Maybe not all that well, but they can still play.

The "o.k. these guys really arn't as good as their record" tier.

20. (-12) New England Patriots 2 1 - I know that Ronnie Brown bit was a surprise, but when your suposed to be one of the great defenses in the league, and you have what is supposed to be one of the greatest coaches in the league, shouldn't someone be able to stop a guy from taking a direct snap to house 4 fucking times!!!

21. (+3) San Francisco 49ers 2 1 - Yea, they keep winning, so they keep moving up, but I'm really not sold on this team at all. If they beat N.O. this week, i'll give them some cred, but intill then, fluke.

The "shity teams" tier.

22. (-6) New York Jets 1 2 - Did we all forget that this team blew last year? I know Favre is nice and all, but as Emmit might say, He's a diamond in the doo-doo. And Mondays game was so Favre, in the bad way. Should have gotten picked like 14 times.

23. (+5) Miami Dolphins 1 2 - Nice win over New England. I thought Ronnie Brown was solid, but 4 TD's and a passing, i didn't see at all.

24. (-1) Atlanta Falcons 2 1 - Good to see that even shitty teams can beat up other even shitter teams. I like Matty Ice, and I like Michael turrner, but lets be honest, this team still blows.

25. (+1) Seattle Seahawks 1 2 - Who is J. Jones! Averaging 5.1 per carrie is nice for the former cowboy great. (Hey Seahawks, don't get used to it! He did that in Dallas his first year too.)

26. (+1) Oakland Raiders 1 2 - There were right there from winning that game. Welp, thats what shitty teams do, they lose games.

The "Oppps I crapped my pants" Tier.

27. (-5) Houston Texans 0 2 - Kinda wish I had a do over on that whole Matt Shaub is going to be great this year bit.

28. (-7) Cleveland Browns 0 3 - Ohh how the mighty have fallen. Looks like it Brady Quinn time!

29. (+2) Cincinnati Bengals 0 3 - At least they showed some life this week and almost stole one from the Defending superbowl champs.

30. (-)Detroit Lions 0 3 - This team is terrible. Just Terrible.

31. (-2) Kansas City Chiefs 0 3 - These last three teams just need to disband, and come back a few laters with a clearer head.

32. (-) St. Louis Rams 0 3 - One good note? SJax had 14 points in my fantasy league this year.

So there it is. Its thought provoking, easy to understand, pretty close to right. I know my rankings have jumpbed a but from week to week, but that's going to happen when you've only played 3 games or so.

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