Tuesday, September 16, 2008

power is in the eye.....week 2

Fuck it we still won!


As i did last year, I'm going to be bringing you the freshest, most original look around the NFL, a power ranking!

I know your life wouldn't be complete unless you knew for sure whether or not i thought the Cardinals are better than the Lions, so I bring you this, Big's NFL power rankings.
(i know its lame, but if I do anything well, its lame shit)(oh and I included how they have changed from last week next to their number. look at me doing more work that i have too!)

As always this list is in order of team most likely to no give a rats ass about your fantasy football team(I'm 1-1 in both leagues).

The "I'm just like you, I put
my pants on one leg at a time, only when my pants are on, I make gold records" tier.

1 (-)Dallas Cowboys
2 0 - Holy crap what a game. Those might be the best 2 teams in football right now. Add the fact the eagles always give the boys problems, and a win is nice.

2. (-)Pittsburgh Steelers
2 0 - Ugly game vs. Cle, but this team gets the Eric Nies award this week for just grinding it out. (honestly if you get that reference let me know.)

3. (+1)Denver Broncos
2 0 - You know what makes me move up this team even though they should have lost(stupid, STUPID refs) is the fact they went for the win in regulation. WAY TO HAVE SOME BALL SHANNY!
4. (+2)New York Giants 2 0 - I was predicting failure on this team year. Looks like i might be wrong for the first time ever in my life.

The "Damn the looked good losing" tier.

5. (-2)Philadelphia Eagles 1 1 - Had to drop them a bit due to losing, but this years NFC East is going be crazy. Like SuperCrazy.

The "Better than I thought they would be" tier

6. (+11)Tennessee Titans 2 0 - So I knew this team had a good D, but they might be scary good. Like your new girlfriend is a little too good at sex, good.

7. (+7)Green Bay Packers 2 0 - I love seeing Aaron Rodgers make this happen. Got a little scared when they let DET back in the game. But they look legit. Now they play Dallas, and we'll know right soon how good they are.

8. (-1)New England Patriots 2 0 - When your the number one team, and your best player goes down, you have got to expect a drop off, but right now this defense is carrying this team.

The "Really didn't think they would be this good, but don't expect them to stay That way" tier

9. (+2)Buffalo Bills 2 0 - Browns new pick to win the super bowl. Can't agree more.

10. (+6)Carolina Panthers 2 0 - Just think, now they get Steve Smith back.

11. (-2)Chicago Bears 1 1 - Lost to Carolina. I blame Shila LaBouf. Don't now why. But he's the downfall of the Bears.

The "come on now, your better than that" tier.

12. (-)Indianapolis Colts 1 1 - t minus 3 weeks till Peyton goes ape shit and names himself starting running back, wide receiver, and punt returner. he's all they got anyway, so why not.

13. (-5)New Orleans Saints 1 1 - Washington? They practically gave you that game. Way to go reggie with that whole "waiving" thing. Well done.

The "Can't tell if they are good or not yet" tier.

14. (+6)Arizona Cardinals 2 0 - Jesus Robo Arm is back and in full effect baby! But in the end they have only beaten San Fran and Seattle.

15. (+7)Baltimore Ravens 1 0 - Moved up seven due to not playing anybody, and when you don't play you can't look bad!

16. (-6)New York Jets 1 1 - The whole Favre thing has warn off on me now, and that play calling was TERRIBLE!

17. (+6)Washington Redskins 1 1 - i knew they weren't as bad as they showed on opening day. Would have had them in front a couple other teams, but I saw Chris Cooley's dick this week. That should never happen.

The "Better turn this shit around, or this could get ugly" tier.

18. (-3)Minnesota Vikings 0 2 - If they stick with Travis, and they miss the playoffs, its all on Brad Childress. Stubborn is a sin.

19. (-14)San Diego Chargers 0 2 - I never thought the HGH using wwe freak Shawn Merrimen was that important to the Chargers. And don't give me that they should have won but the ref screwed them. Yea, its true, they got the call wrong and the game would have been over had it gone right, but when you can't stop the pass AT ALL, you deserve to lose. Throw in the 2 pt play and Norv can go fuck himself.

The "teams that could pull a win out their ass every now and then, but don't expect them to contend" tier.

20. (-2)Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1 1 - Ernest "Teddy" Graham(if that's not his nickname, we really need to look at ourselves as humans) you totally fucked me in fantasy this week. If you would have just played like you usually do, which is suck, i would be 2-0. For that, down 2 spots for your team.

21. (-2)Cleveland Browns 0 2 - Played a much closer, if not better, game vs. Pitt. Calling Braylend Edwards! Hello! Anybody seen mr. Edwards?

22. (+3)Houston Texans 0 1 - Again moved up because they didn't play, and thus didn't fuck up this week.

23. (-2)Atlanta Falcons 1 1 - That's more like the Falcons we have come to expect.

24. (+5)San Francisco 49ers 1 1 - I had to give them some love, after proving me right that the Seahawks suck mighty joe young balls.

The "Holy Crap! Are they really as bad as they look(yes)" tier.

25. (-12)Jacksonville Jaguars 0 2 - Last year, 2nd in rushing, this year, 28th.

26. (-2)Seattle Seahawks 0 2 - And you Seattle Seahawks, ahh fuck it, your too easy.

and the "opps I crapped my pants" tier.

27. (+5)Oakland Raiders 1 1 - Would have moved them out of this tier, but Its being rumored that Al "The N-Hatten Dolphin" Davis is about to fire a promising young head coach cuz he said his team sucks. You know what Al, your team does suck.

28. (-2)Miami Dolphins 0 2 - lost by 3 touchdowns to the Buzzsaw.

29. (-1)Kansas City Chiefs 0 2 - lost by nearly 3 TD's to the Raiders!

30. (+1)Detroit Lions 0 2 - The nice comeback moved them up from last, but then they pissed it all away at the track like my uncle steve.

31. (-4)Cincinnati Bengals 0 2 - Said I was going to put them last if they didn't show me anything, and they didn't show me anything, but.....

32. (-2)St. Louis Rams 0 2 - This team BLOWS!!!!

As always, I know I'm right and your wrong, and that's just the way its going be. Smells like updog in here.........

2 comments:

Carl Badlander said...

you know what they are saying......Tony Romo is the next Jay Cutler!!!!

Anonymous said...

Has anyone tried homeopathic HGH oral sprays?