Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The NFL starts tomorrow...



As Big mentioned in his post below this, I'm not mentioning college football. That being said, I wanted to bring up the top 10 NFL stories that I'm going to focus on this year.

In no particular order...

1) Romo and Simpson

Okay, anyone want to challenge me now that this bitch has gotten in the Dallas QB's head? She picks out his clothes and he listens to her music to pump himself up? He also forces other players to listen as well. This bitch gives me a really creepy Yoko feel to things, and it might take Adam Jones to treat Romo to Club Onyx and show him what's going down on the underground. Might I also add, this is really his second full season...beware the sophomore slump.

2) The New York Quarterback

David Carr is the backup for the Giants. That's right, if Eli goes down, they're going to depend on the vinyl gloved pretty boy to lead the way. Oh yeah, the other team has a guy who might just regret coming back from retirement.

3) Merriman's Knee

So, let me get this straight. Shawne Merriman has two torn ligaments in his knee. He has seen 4 specialists all of whom have told him to forgoe this season and have surgery or he risks his career. Merriman opts to neglect surgery and play with a brace on instead. Merriman's going to play a season knowing the Denver Broncos utilize the cut block and he plays them twice??? REALLY?

4) Brady's Foot

Ahh yes, Tom Brady hasn't played this preseason because his foot is injured. He walked around with a boot before the Super Bowl. So the foot is similar to his shoulder in that he was born with a terrible injury? I think this is your manufactured excuse from New England as to why they're not going to be the elite AFC team this year.

5) Chad Johnson Ocho Cinco

I'm interested in this for three reasons. First, will the announcers really refer to him as "Ocho Cinco" or will they still call him "Chad" or "Johnson" or "Chad JOhnson"? Second, is TJ Houshmanzadeh going to add syllables to his name just to fuck with Chad? Third, how long before either Carson Palmer or Marvin Lewis snap and just punch Chad on the sidelines?

6) The Dallas Wide Receiving Corps

Terrell Owens and a bunch of dudes. Jerry refuses to make a move for Boldin or the real Roy Williams. Instead, it's a former quarterback, a flex running back, and a bunch of injured spares. Jason Witten's going to get a LOT of work, or Romo had better develop a scrambling capability to rival Cunningham.

7) Tarvaris Jackson

Everyone loves the Vikings this year. One of the best O-lines when McKinnie gets back. One of the best D-lines with the addition of Allen. One of the best RB duos with Peterson and Taylor. The addition of capable pass catchers. The hole they have might be the most important, quarterback. Is TRAVIS Jackson going to cut it? Will Childress turn to the crazy hands of Gus Frerotte? Might we see a blockbuster trade and Brad Childress gets his favorite QB in the world, Donovan McNabb? (no)

8) Rookie Starters Behind Center

Joe Flaaco and Matt Ryan. Each guy has his work cut out for him trying to win over a fan base. Flaaco has to be a relative no-name and try to win over a cynical fan base in Baltimore. Ryan, well, he's a lily white pocket passer who's attempting to erase the "legacy" of a "heroic" black quarterback in a predominantly black fan base who felt their quarterback was wrongly targeted and crucified.

9) The Jacksonville Jaguars

The AFC's most hyped team? Probably. People are saying this is the year the Colts get supplanted by the Jaguars. Garrard is thought to be one of the best in the league (I'd agree), and the defense is one of the more fly to the ball type crazed mentality defenses. Oh yeah, but with the hype comes the train of shit. High profile arrests? Check. Starters getting shot? Check. Uh oh.

10) USC Stars' Continued Failure

This is a personal thing for me. Being a Texas alum, I heard nothing but Leinart and Bush for the longest time, and ever since my boys put those bitches down in the National Title game and both of those ass holes tried to say it was a flook, I have dedicated my life to wishing nothing but failure on these two. Does God hate Reggie Bush? Pairs him with sex tape queen and sends hurricane after hurricane to New Orleans, you tell me. Leinart is in competition with one of God's quarterbacks, so God gave him herpes and puts him in the failure that is Arizona. We're a couple of torn ACL's from me throwing a party for God.




I'm back on the road starting next week, so I leave the blog in the capable hands of the originator and creator of this corner of the internet, Big.

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