What the hell?
I hit the snooze button one too many times and I get to wake up to my phone exploding with text messages and emails.
-McCain picks a female VP. Yup, that's right, the Alaskan governor, Sarah Palin. Genius political move. And if he wins? We get to blame America's struggle on old people and women! MY DREAM IS COMING TRUE!! By the way, we don't talk politics here, so just don't start that crap. The mere mention of US/China relations set Dorsey and Steve off in a comment record for this site.
Update: I know I just said we don't talk politics or anything, but I hope everyone realizes how historic this campaign for the Presidency is. We have one ticket with a man of mixed race and an unconventional upbringing as the major party's candidate for the highest single office in the world. The other ticket, though not the first to do so, has a woman representing a major party candidate for the second in command of the highest office in the world. I don't care what your political leanings are, and I know there are people who aren't happy to see this, but we should all take a moment and realize how monumental this really is for America. And...scene.
-It's Michael Jackson's 50th birthday today. There's not really a joke there, just the fact that one of the greatest singers in history is turning 50. Yes, he fucks little kids, but I just said he can sing.
-There will be no Big XII preview from me on this website. After what I've done to the Rangers by merely mentioning them during the All-Star break, I refuse to talk about my alma mater no matter how much I've studied everyone down to the red shirts. That's nothing out of the ordinary, just stop asking. That being said, college football starting up is like heroine hitting my vein...so good, so warm, so inviting. Gameday is going to feel like a coke bender.
-The Grizzlies signed an Iranian. Cue up Steve, please.