Thursday, April 10, 2008

Man U, and a new guy comes aboard

We here at the big and the brown like to think of all sports, real and not real. We are both fans of soccer or "football," but we really only follow it when it gets really good. With that in mind I would like to introduce you to a man that follows his Manchester United english soccer team on a daily basis. We have asked him to write a few things about his team and soccer in general, but since he is british, and talks with a HEAVY british accent, and thinks like a damn brit, this is what we got. I would like to indroduce to you all, Sir Arthur Chillumsworth Esq. All questions can be sent to our email, if you want to ask Art any questions. (try and read with a british accent, makes it more enjoyable)(but not shorter)


I witnessed a most thrilling football contest this afternoon 'twixt the Glorious Manchester United Football Club and those damnable italians from Roma. We'd bested them at home in front of God and their mothers and yet they wanted another go. During the first minutes United players streamed down upon the roma goal with righteous intent but the forthcoming point that would give them the lead was not found.

In what must be, the greatest bit of acting since Sir William Shakespeare himself; Roberto Mancini fell to the turf inside the eighteen yard box after a stunning tackle by Wes Brown. With baited breath and sweaty palms I awaited the penalty shot from the villiainous De Rossi. Surely this was the moment that would stun the champions, little goliath would strike the mighty giant down with one swift blow to the upper corner, but lo! The deafening roar of eighty thousand howling englishmen struck de rossi to his core and shook him to his roots. Or perhaps, in some cathartic moment, de rossi chose to punish his flopping teammate, not with a box 'o the ears, but where it stung more, at the penalty spot.

Despite what could only be described as a flubbed penalty the great Manchester United was visibly shaken, with the scoreline nil-nil the crafty italians could still manufacture a goal and put title hopes in jeopardy. The skies continued to darken over Old Trafford and lady luck had left the building, no matter for the mighty united as skill is their principle manner of execution.

After some stern discussion and a few changes from Sir Alex, the teams take to the field with vigor in the second half. The club from Roma well exhibits the italian reputation for swagger without substance as their repeated attacks are cleanly broken down by the United back four. Despite never quite hitting their stride during the remainder of the game the Manchester attack looked as fluid as ever, drawing cheers from their supporters for displays of skill and proper form. Just when the constant drum of the United players against the roma defence seemed to lull the crowd into a complacency, Owen Hargreaves made a streaking run with ball down the right side and picked out Carlos Tevez for a low, slanting header to the opposite post. Doni, the roma keeper had no chance of capturing this divine ball as it was always intended to be a Manchester United victory. Spurred on, the crowd filled the air with the many chants and songs of United's Glory and tributes to their favorite players. Yet, with sterling performances from Jung Si Park, Owen Hargreaves, Rio Ferdinand and as always, Ryan Giggs, the late addition of Wayne Rooney and the triumphant return of Gary Neville seemed more obliged to the players than a tactical change. With such an amazing performance an avid follower could hardly ask for more as the victory was attained without the use of the trump card; Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro.

I make no exaggeration to say that the next three weeks will decide the title for Manchester United. Club supporters are reserving a little corner of their hearts for worry concerning this Sunday's match against Arsenal. After being knocked out of the Champions League tournament under a confident Liverpool, who know their way around this tournament I tell you. The stinky frenchmen of Arsenal will be rubbing their grubby hands together cooking up all manner of underhandedness for the Glorious Manchester Football Club. It would be no surprise to this writer to find out that the frenchmen had reverted to their old ways and staked the Manchester end of the pitch with tar pits.

It bears no small mention that should Manchester continue their unbeaten streak in the Premiership and obtain victory in the Champions League, they will accomplish what many players dream of and few teams have actually achieved. It is a great testament to English football and Manchester United as well, but no less credit could go to the manager Sir Alex Ferguson, who holds more league titles than any other manager and many major credits as well. Due in large part to his careful recruitment and nurturing of young players, and the free rotation and depth of his squad, he may yet again stamp his name in the history books as a champion of champions.

-Sir Arthur Chillumsworth Esq.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Isn't supporting ManU a little too much like supporting the New York Yankees?


Most well known team with the most well known roster?

Big said...

it might be, but that's his team, so its his right I guess. It might also be the eayest to follow here in the states. I'll think i'll ask him. I would like to welcome him aboard. Cheers Arty

Brown said...

i'm with big.

i've met chillumsworth before. if you can imagine if prince charles, sting and all 5 members of duran duran were put in a "twins" like experiment, he's danny devito

Sir Arthur Chillumsworth Esq. said...

I take great offense to your comments, Brown and I challenge you to a duel of honor.

I say with great pride that the Manchester United football club has much more prestige than any domestic baseball team that NEVER ventures beyond it's own borders for the sake of competition.

The sports may differ, but the accomplishment still stands; Man U is beating everything that comes at them. Coming from someone who avidly watches, not just english football, but spanish, italian, mexican and american as well; they are easily top three in the world if not the very best right now.