Wednesday, April 23, 2008

El Blogadore takes on the White House

This is an election year, lots of debate has gone on. The GOP has picked their man and the Democrats are locked between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. What better way to get more Americans to vote than to show up on RAW. McCain, Clinton, and Obama had recorded messages (I wanted to say pre-recorded but I think that is redundant). Hillary's was boring, Barack's highlight was the line "Do you smell what Barack is cooking", and McCain just threw phrases left and right. He used "To be the man, you gotta beat the man", "whatcha gonna when the McCainiacs run wild on you", and "Game over". They there was a match between a fake Hillary and fake Obama. No, it was not Molly Holly and 2 Cold Scorpio/Flash Funk.

Big gave me the idea to create a list (because people love lists) of Presidents who would have also been good performers in the world of sports entertainment.

5. Ronald Reagan.
Coming from a background in acting he fits in perfectly with wrestling. He even has his own valet in Nancy Reagan. They come to the ring with the classic good guy gimmick of saying no to drugs, saying your prayers, and poor people are bad. Double R could spin this into being a face or a heel, kind of a more friendly JBL.

4. Grover Cleveland.
Back-to-back champion. Oh wait, someone else well get the title and then he'll get it back. Kind of like winning the PPV and then losing it on RAW only to get it back at Saturday Nights Main Event.

Took a break while working on this, watched some ECW. I miss Joey Styles, Mike Adamle is horrible. When Taz is doing your play-by-play you're in trouble. Another observation- I would watch a Kofi Kingston/Shelton Benjamin match every week. Those two are incredible.

3. JFK.

He is the Ric Flair of the Presidents. He had his posse that acted as the interchangable Four Horseman. He was stylin' and profilin' and bangin' celebrities.

Side note. The Presidential Four Horseman would've been:
Arthur Goldberg

2. LBJ.
After stepping out of the shadow of JFK and going on his own LBJ's no nonsense country boy attitude puts him in the Stone Cold persona. He was the second tallest president at 6'3" and he was country big. He's taking names and giving great quotes. Can you picture LBJ 6:35 signs in the crowd at his innaguration? How about a stunner to Castro and the rest of Commies.

1. "Honest" Abe Lincoln.
At 6'4" and his good guy image he's the perfect face for America to get behind. He also had an extensive wrestling career in real life (Credit to "The Unreal Story of Professional Wrestling" on A&E). He had some 300 matches before getting too busy with running a country and freeing slaves. He's wiry, too. I envision him in the ring performing kind of like Orton or Edge.

There you have it folks. Your undisputed Presidential Wrestling Alliance Champion- Abraham Lincoln. We re-visit the rankings as we get closer to election time.

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