Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Do they do bibliographies anymore?

Remember when we had to to agonizing reports and shit for grade school? Reports, research projects, whatever. They all involved some finite length report that had to be so many words, a certain amount of spacing, etc.

I never had a problem with doing this because it was always easy to go to the library, check out a few books, find a few lines, switch up the words enough to where it wasn't plagiarism and write my report.

What ended up fucking me in the end? The god damned bibliography. You know exactly what I'm talking about. That shit where you had to quote the source. It was a certain way, with certain punctuation and formatting of things. Basically, your teacher could use that shit to find out exactly where you got your shit from and she could tell if you copied it right out of World Book Encyclopedia. (A side note, how come schools always had the World Book from 10 years prior to the current year? For the longest time I thought there were two Germany's in the world. I was certainly surprised in college to find out there was just one.)

Anyways, did it dawn on anyone that kids don't have to do this shit anymore? No more going to the library and getting a physical book. No more painstaking bibliographies. Nope. All they have to do is Google and Wikipedia and BOOM there's the report AND THE GOD DAMNED REFERENCES ARE DONE FOR THEM.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying technology is bad. Shit, it's the argument I use to tell old people to fuck themselves when they say "you had a computer, I had to write with my hand". You think that's my fucking problem, John Lithgow? Well fuck you, sir, technology allows me to type shit up AND dance in Beaumont, TX. Ass hat.

Anyway, technology is one thing, but having that information readily available for you is a fat crock of shit. That's why kids are so fucking stupid these days. I agree with Big when he says you should be able to beat a child as soon as they turn 2 years old. I'm not sure why he said that, but I imagine that's why we were digging a hole in my back yard and he told me not to ask questions.

I'd like to go to Wikipedia and start editing the entries for Joan of Arc and historical things like that.
Joan of Arc was a national hero of France in the 15th century. She was also a huge dyke that took it to Frenchie with a strap on named "the Frog Leg".
I'd derive a great pleasure in knowing some 5th grader was typing that up on the report that was due the next morning.

So, if you're a kid, and you've stumbled upon this blog because you just Google-d Joan of Arc, go to a fucking library and learn the Dewey decimal system. While you're there, do what all of us did...find the medical encyclopedia and look for pictures of boobs and giggle your ass off.

1 comment:

gerry dorsey said...

bravo sir...this is genius.