Tuesday, April 15, 2008

the 2nd turnbuckle

As we here at the Big and the Brown love all things sports, fake or real, we know that we don't have all the knowledge of some of our peers. We gladly move aside when someone who is an expert in a certain field wants to put his/her two cents in. With that said, here is what should be a "weekly" post about wrestling from our wrestling guru.

I admit I did not watch 'Mania.

I'm ok with that because it didn't turn out as I expected, at least as whole.

I didn't watch much of March's other big event. The NCAA basketball tournament.

I'm ok with that, too. I usually don't watch it.

I figured if I put both halves together I might have something. Kind of like a Mavs game.

I am making my all-sports entertainment based basketball team.

I am attempting to fill out a full 12 man roster. I will be, as Joe Namath might say "struguhling" to fill it out. Karl Malone and Dennis Rodman are not allowed since they had time in "Nooba" as Saleh might say in "The Air Up there".

C-Paul "Big Show" Wight. He did play some college hoops, mostly in D2, before the dreaded knee injury. Could you imagine him backing someone down. I mean anyone, Shaq at his biggest wouldn't be able to hold him.

F-Mark "Undertake" Callaway. He's quick on his feet. He can walk on the top rope so he's got pretty good footwork. Hit him down low and he could throw it down with some authority.

F-Kevin "Diesel, Big Sexy, Oz" Nash. Another big man with college experience. At Tennesse of all places.

G-Shelton "The Gold Standard" Benjamin. He's Black (Norm voice). He's also a tremendous athlete. I see him driving to the basket and producing a lot of offense. He's a very move-forward type of guy so I don't know that his defense would match up well, but his offense would keep him on court

G-Stevie "Who's this guy" Richards. He almost had something with Al Snow and the Job Squad. He's "still hangin' around as many people know" just not in Dallas(anyone? anyone?). I see him as the teams distributor. Much like he was in the ring he'd be unselfish and do what was best for the show. He'd probably be up there with another Stevie in the Association.

Bench:

Kenny Dysktra-Pure Athlete, lots of potential. Give him a few years. Anytime the 'Taker is struggling fans will want to see Kenny on the floor.

Kane-Another force down low. He'd have no problem bumping around and getting rough. He also looks kind like white Barkley without eyebrows.

Brian Kendrick- This little guy has a lot of heart. The WWE really wants you to adopt him and take him home. He's so little and likable. I like him in hoops enough to put him on the bench, but not be a starter.

Norman Smiley- He looks like basketball. Or at least the '83 3A state champs coach. Think of him as the bizzaro AC Green. Mustache-Check, Generic black guy haircut-Check, Abstinence-wait a second.

Still-Alive Eddie Guerrero- Because he worked hard and people thought he was a dirty player and his name is also Eddie. He's this clubs Eddie Najera.

Koko B. Ware- He might be Vinnie "The Microwave" Johnson's long lost brother. I'd have him on the roster just to pay him so he can go and buy a real parrot.

Rey Mysterio, Jr.- J.J. Barrea with a mask. Also sitting at the end cursing the coach under his breath in espanol.

You're welcome. Glad I could help put off something for 8 more minutes

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