Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Extra Turnbuckle! Joo-uce!

As we here at the Big and the Brown love all things sports, fake or real, we know that we don't have all the knowledge of some of our peers. We gladly move aside when someone who is an expert in a certain field wants to put his/her two cents in. With that said, here is what should be a "weekly" post about wrestling from our wrestling guru.

He was feeling Sausy, so and he had something else on his mind, so here is another entry from el blogadore.

I just glanced over to My27 and saw that "In the Army Now" was on. I watched for a little bit. I love Pauly Shore movies. This is probably the worst one. The Blogadore criteria for judging a movie if it isn't automatically good is "how would this make as a wrestling show?"

"In the Army Now" has 4 recognizable actors in it. Pauly Shore, Andy Dick, David Alan Grier, and Lori Petty. The tent scene with these 4 caused parts of my brain to stop working. None of them have anything. Pauly shore kind of does, but it's not enought to count. It's a what Delkus would call a "trace" amount, but nothing measurable.

Putting these four together is like a cage match with Chuck Palumbo, Kenny Dykstra, Jamie Noble, and Jimmy Wang Yang. You kinda like them as individuals, but when they're carrying the match you're checking other channels.

"Bio-Dome" is by far Shore's masterpiece. Why? You have pre-Jesus Freak Stephen Baldwin, Kylie Minogue, William Atherton (the jerk that made them shut down the containment unit in Ghostbusters), and Henry Gibson (the head of the Illinoise Nazi Party from Blues Brothers).

So all these characters/actors carry parts, but not the entire movie. Very similar to say a battle royal or 8-man tag match. Example, the No Way Out match between DX and Owen Hart/Steve Austin/Chainsaw Charlie/Cactus Jack . Nobody had to carry that match because all the work that was needed to be done was done by role players.

I can go on all day analyzing the Pauly Shore collection as it compares to professional wrestling, but I don't want captivate you too much keep you from getting things done.

No, you don't get that time back.

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