Friday, January 18, 2008

Gee, I can't wait.

I can tell you what I'm not looking forward to in the coming weeks, and that's going to be the onslaught of media "knob-slobbing" of whoever makes it to the Super Bowl this year. Think about it, in just about any scenario you have a story that ESPN and company are going to beat us all down with. It really makes you yearn for the days where they didn't have a week off between conference championships and the Super Bowl.

Patriot Stories to expect....
  • The obvious one, "19 - 0"
  • "Tom Brady, media dreamboat number 2"
  • "Rodney Harrison, is he really that dirty?" (Yes. Yes he is)
  • "Teddy Bruschi. Remember him? He had a stroke! Look at him now! Fuck you Kirk Douglas!"
  • "Red Sox, Celtics, Patriots, isn't Boston due for a typhoon soon?"
Packer Stories to expect....
  • "Brett Favre, media dreamboat number 1"
  • "Deanna Favre had breast cancer!"
  • "I bet Jevon Walker feels like a real dumb ass now"
  • "Just who is Ryan Grant, and why should I care?"
  • "Will Brett Favre retire now?"
Giant Stories to expect....
  • "See? Ernie Accorsi knew what he was doing with Eli!"
  • "Eli Manning discovered hair in his special places"
  • "Osi Umenyiora aims at the gap in Strahan's teeth"
  • "Hey, Tiki, does Bettis have burrito-farts?"
  • "Tom Coughlin. Tom Coughlin!?"
Charger Stories to expect...
  • "See? A.J. Smith knew what he was doing with Eli!"
  • "LaDanian isn't a cry baby, he just loves the game so much"
  • "As far as we're concerned, Merriman and Castillo never used steroids" (Yes they did)
  • "Marty Schottenheimer sucks and so does Wade Phillips, but Norv's all right"
  • "San Diego burnt down, and now the Chargers are on fire"

You can mix and match these stories all day long, no matter what the match up is, and I guarantee you'll be so god damned tired of the game before it happens that you're not going to have the energy to sit through the "Beat Down Extravaganza" that Super Bowl weekend has become.

1 comment:

gerry dorsey said...

"19-0" vs. "eli is a fucking genius after all" it is.

the damn line is going to be like 16.