Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Second Turnbuckle

As we here at the Big and the Brown love all things sports, fake or real, we know that we don't have all the knowledge of some of our peers. We gladly move aside when someone who is an expert in a certain field wants to put his/her two cents in. With that said, here is what should be a weekly post about wrestling from our wrestling guru.

Here it is folks. The long awaited 3rd installment from El Blogador. With everyone caught up in the excitement of American Football, especially the teams from colleges, I will pick my winners for these bowl games. I'm not promising anything great. Being Mexican and working a computer make this project difficult. So this installment will be like watching a Barry Horowitz / Red Rooster / Repo Man triple threat match.

Poinsettia Bowl

Utah falls to Navy. Utah has nothing. Navy has the former actor/former governer Jesse 'the Body' Ventura. Possibly greater than Staubach?

New Orleans Bowl

Florida Atlantic over Memphis. It'll be a close one with Memphis having the power of Jerry Lawler behind them. But, by association through the Sun Belt Conference and North Texas, FAU pulls of a 'stunner' in the last seconds to win it. 15 people will rejoice.

Holiday Bowl

University of Texas beats Arizona State. There's nothing exciting here just Dead Bobby Duncum, Jr. and former 4-Horseman and Super Bowl Champion Steve "Mongo" McMicheal.

Independence Bowl

Colorado crushes 'Bama. Surprisingly, actually not that surprising, I can find no record of any professional wrestlers attending the University of Alabama. Colorado can say 'It's time, It's time, It's Vader Time!!' The former 'Boy Meets World' guest star is also a Colorado Alum with a degree in Architecture.

Sun Bowl

South Florida runs wild over Oregon. That's right brotha, watcha gonna do when Bullmania flexes it's 24' pythons and crushes the Ducks. Hogan did a few semesters as South Florida and Oregon has nothing.

Outback Bowl

Tennessee drops it against Wisconsin.........Wisconsin. The Vols have one time wrestler Reggie White but Badger has current and future superstar Ken Kennedy.

Chick-Fil-A Bowl

Auburn slips by Clemson. I search and search and all I can find is Kevin Greene former Steeler great had a stint in WCW when talent was pretty low.

Music City Bowl

After a great season Kentucky falls to the geriatric-led Seminoles. DAMN! Ron "Farrooq" Simmons was a star DE for the Seminoles and now has a great catch phrase and is competing with Ron Washington for best "George Jefferson Afro".

Fiesta Bowl

Sooners quiet the Mountaineers. You want to try to compete with OU when it comes to Pro Wrestling and all you bring is Pacman (former TNA tag team chamion) Jones. OU has Dr. Death Steve Williams and Good Ol' Jim Ross. "My God Pat White is broken in half, somebody end the match now"

and finally the National Chamionship Game

It's a stretch but there isn't much out there. The Buckeyes are National Chamions. OOOOOOHHH YEEEEAAHHHH!!!! Snap into it! and such. Macho Man was born in Columbus so I'm sure he rooted for The Ohio State University.

-El Blogador


Big said...

Just to make it clear, I would take the red rooster by a landslide.

Brown said...

I disagree, seeing as it's the Hannukah season, I'm all for Barry Horowitz.

Allow me to pat myself on the back.

Hava nagila, bitch. (I assume that should have been his taunt)