With the work week winding down, and the stack of papers getting larger and larger on your desk, what could help you out finishing the work week strong? That's right, a few links to waste your time. These are some fun things to do or look at, all are clean for the most part so its safe to rock em at work.
Santa Clause that Ho
Here is a story out of the great land down under. A mall down there has told its Santa Clauses that they can no longer say "Ho Ho Ho" but must use "Ha Ha Ha" Why? One they are scared it will scare the children, and two its too close to the American word "Ho" meaning slut or prostitute. Wait. When I was little and had to go see Santa, he scared the shit out me. He is a large fellow trying his best to look like a deranged Kool Aid man with that red suite and terrorist beard. I didn't know what to do when mom left me on his lap so i can have a pic taken with him. I went to bed Christmas night early not cuz i wanted to wake up early or had the fear that if i wasn't asleep he wouldn't come, i went to bed early so i didn't have to see that scary man in the pitch of dark, eating my cookies, and drinking dads booze. I wasn't scared of him cuz he said "ho, ho, ho" i was scared cuz he broke into my house.
Now about the word "Ho" being offencive. If we can no longer use words that have dirty meaning then we wouldn't be able to talk. Think about it, there would be nobody named Peter, or John, or Fucktilla, there would be no female dogs, or donkeys, or sex crazed strippers. You could no longer be a "member" of a club, or eat salted "nuts," or rock out to "Queen." As a society where would we be without the phrase "useless as tits on a boar?"
For those of you who haven't seen this short film (about 10 min long). Go watch it now, its greatness. Then you can get some of our jokes such as: "My spoon is too big" "I am a Banana" and being a member of the silly hats club.
Video Games and Band
Ahh yes, If this video had some titties in it, this would be 15 year old Bigs wet dream. Its the Cal Band doing to marching tribute to video games. Surprisingly i got way more ass in high school than i do now. That says way more about me now, than it does about me back then. trust me.
Play to Win Stuff!
This site is a site that has a lot of simple games that are fun and can burn some time. But the cool part is you get credit for playing them. The site is a new type of search engine (think google or yahoo). You play games and when you get a right answer it shows you links about the answer at the bottom of the page. Its fun, plus if you sign up, its free, you get "credits." With these "credits" you can save yo buy things at their store. Its like Dave and Busters on your computer, except they don't have skeeball they have a game where you match like things. Good times.
Well i hope this lets you push back your work for a few more hours, then you get fired and then you can just read this blog all day! Your the Best!